if he cannot give you respect then its good you found that before marriage rather after as now you can do something about it, which is have someone who would respect you!
Do you remember how many posts and questions you posed in the run up to the meeting? How confused you were?
I imagine he's pretty confused now too. If it was a 'no', he would have told his mum. If he's not sure, what can he really say to you until he thinks it over? You don't call someone up and say "it was nice meeting you but I'm not sure, I'll let you know".
I think your ego is a bit bruised. You were thinking there was better out there for you, so now it's a shock to you that actually, he needs to consider as well.
Do you remember how many posts and questions you posed in the run up to the meeting? How confused you were?
I imagine he's pretty confused now too. If it was a 'no', he would have told his mum and his mum. If he's not sure, what can he really say to you until he thinks it over? You don't call someone up and say "it was nice meeting you but I'm not sure, I'll let you know".
I think your ego is a bit bruised. You were thinking there was better out there for you, so now it's a shock to you that actually, he needs to consider as well.
I kinda agree with stoppit about the confusion part. But Stoppit, girls usually 'overthink' anyway, no?
inspiron: Stop thinking about it too much. Yes he should have the decency to talk to you directly about things and whatever concerns he has. Because you guys were in touch every day anyway. So that is disrespectful. Dont worry about the age difference though. If it works out, it will stay a number.
I agree with Stoppit. Maybe he needs time to think things through, it's a huge decision, if you've had your doubts and moments of confusion, it's natural for him to feel this way too. It doesn't necessarily mean a no. Perhaps give it a few more days unless you and your parents are pretty certain it's leaning toward a "no."
If he was feeling uncertain after the engagement....then it makes the "engagement" rather shaky. Was it an official engagement where you're actually wearing a ring?
I hate the whole business of rishtas.....but when you go through one....try not to think of it as your "last rishta or THE ONE." It's a process and sometimes you have to go through several unsuitable prospects before you meet someone who is right. And keep your eyes and mind open...there's nothing wrong with finding someone on your own.
Ask yourself this question.....(take some time out to think about it if you need to)....Were you HONESTLY in love with him? I don't recall you ever using the word "love" in reference to him. "Like"....yes....but it's not on the same level as love. You did not invest an extensive amount of emotional energy into him. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings. It will hurt but hopefully not as much.
The whole idea of you being traditional and him being the opposite....I find ridiculous. I'm all for taking the time out to get to know someone.....but I don't support the idea of being wishy-washy and leaving people in a state of uncertainty....and he has done that to you....which is something you can factor into YOUR DECISION as to whether or not you think he's right for you.
Like I said in your last thread, why does it all depend on what HE thinks? Why are you basing your self-worth on HIS opinions? Don't your opinions of him count as well? Let's say that he thinks you're not the right fit for him......does that necessarily mean that he was RIGHT for you? Absolutely not! Just like him and his family are taking the time to consider things.............so should you. You should also be thinking about how he makes you feel, whether or not you feel respected around him, and whether he's someone YOU want to spend the rest of your life with. It's not only his and their feelings that matter here.......it's yours as well. You're also important.
My parents are pretty sure its a no though, we will see tomorrow I guess? I am back at uni so wasnt at home for this phone call.
Yeah RV my dad keeps saying - ' Beta there must be some junior doctor who you can find, you go to the hospital every day!' he told me to brush up on my flirting skills haha. Its quite hard to meet the right people I find. Maybe thats for a different thread. Obviously im open minded to all sorts of professions, but i guess I am surrounded by doctors all day - but sigh all the good ones are taken or have white girlfriends.
Inspiron- To be honest, I don't think you were totally comfortable with this rishta to begin with so maybe this is what is you also wanted but didnt have the courage to say so. Yes, i do find it quite odd for the guy to give a good response after the date and then stop communicating all together. Why do i feel, it might not just be the guy but maybe the family was looking for other rishtas and somehow the guy clicked better with the other girl or maybe the family prefered her? Who knows. And the terrible thing is you will never know the real reason for it.
The best option is to take it positively and hope for better in future, iA.
My parents are pretty sure its a no though, we will see tomorrow I guess? I am back at uni so wasnt at home for this phone call.
Yeah RV my dad keeps saying - **' Beta there must be some junior doctor who you can find, you go to the hospital every day!' he told me to brush up on my flirting skills haha. **Its quite hard to meet the right people I find. Maybe thats for a different thread. Obviously im open minded to all sorts of professions, but i guess I am surrounded by doctors all day - but sigh all the good ones are taken or have white girlfriends.
oh That bold part is kinda adorable from your dad. hehe.
anyways its not the end of the world and I agree with RV. Things will sort themselves soon. You just need to stop thinking too much for a bit.. Its hard but you gotta find a way :)
I hope it's not a situation where the guy and his family could sense your lack of a interest in the beginning.....so they (or he) decided to give you the run-around to get you back. Not saying that's definitely the case....but ya never know with people.
If you look at the title of your thread...and especially the "I think" part......it's not the same as a definite no. He's using this time to sort out his feellings, you do the same. You texted him....ball's in his court. If he's interesed he'll call. You may want to set a time limit for yourself...such as a week or whatever...and if he exceeds that... then you decide to move on from him.
mmmm true RV - I could also use this time to reflect.
The family actually still really like me, according to parents his mum said - we loved you and your daughter or something very similar, so I hope its not that.
Although maybe I wasnt completely obsessed with him in the start I was always friendly and polite and myself - I dont understand why he is calling me ' too traditional' that doesnt make sense to me at all. Just because I dont like clubbing? thats the only traditional thing i expressed really.
Well I am not certain its a No but it sure does seem that way, I will wait it out and see what happens but im not hoping or anything.
^Inspi....it don't matter how much the parents love you.....their son's decision matters more. Same goes for you. Regardless of how much your parents love a rishta....it don't matter if you don't feel the same.
I hope it's not a situation where the guy and his family could sense your lack of a interest in the beginning.....so they (or he) decided to give you the run-around to get you back. Not saying that's definitely the case....but ya never know with people.
I don't think so! When someone likes you, they won't play such games unless they are also not too sure of it either. Most intelligent people don't delay too much in rishtas process because they know there are just not enough good rishtas around and a delay can mean you are giving the other person the option to look around and most wouldnt risk it.
You were thinking about everything waaaay too much before you had even met him properly. He on the other hand, I bet barely gave it real thought before, so now he is probably thinking all those things over.
It may well be a 'no' but don't jump to conclusions and keep an open mind - if you like him (putting aside this current situation). I know a couple who had a rocky beginning (in this case it was the girl who suddenly decided she needed more time when his family came over to do the 'baat pakki') but now they are happily married.
^I know Zareen. And I'm not saying that's definitely the reason here. But it's a possibility...could be a slim one. Sometimes people play tit for tat in relationships. And if you read Nightingale's thread.....people can be so twisted even after have KIDS with a person. Yes, I know...it's not that common...again just put that out there as a possibility, not necessarily to scare the OP.
