off course there is a reason i always read your nick as NaaBaligh
c'mon man , why would a guy mind or overreact ,
Matey bhoy its just food for masturbation :)
believe me !
off course there is a reason i always read your nick as NaaBaligh
and they say its all in mind :)
HEY HEY HEY!!!! Are you back from Pakistan????
Where is the confusion? lol. Im saying that what he did was wrong. He was well aware, that is why he got defensive. That is a common trait among men, ESPECIALLY desi men. They have control issues, so if they are wrong, instead of apologizing, they get defensive and want to be left alone.
If your wrong, your wrong. Your not up to Allah's level you are capable of making mistakes, and when a mistake is made you should apologize.
Sometimes we unawarely hurt others, when this happens dont try to present an explanation as this will be perceived as an excuse. Apologize, and show your spouse that you are hurt, when they are hurt.
Men are not capable of this.
For that reason I am considering lesbianism.
No. I'm confused because I don't remember anyone saying anything about requesting permission to use a bathroom.
I thought she has to request permission to go back to her house or to go to bed or to take a walk. But asking permission of her husband to USE THE BATHROOM?
Did I miss that somewhere?
he got defensive. That is a common trait among men, ESPECIALLY desi men. They have control issues, so if they are wrong, instead of apologizing, they get defensive and want to be left alone.
If your wrong, your wrong. Your not up to Allah's level you are capable of making mistakes, and when a mistake is made you should apologize.
Sometimes we unawarely hurt others, when this happens dont try to present an explanation as this will be perceived as an excuse. Apologize, and show your spouse that you are hurt, when they are hurt.
Men are not capable of this.
For that reason I am considering lesbianism.
Wow, way to generalize. Yes, people get hurt ,and some go through extreme hardship with their inlaws or husbands or whatever. But you make it sound like every desi guy is a douchebag; so then all marriages are bound to fail if you use that logic.
Hey! Yesh I’m back 
How are you are you ok? You seem quite angry! 
No. I'm confused because I don't remember anyone saying anything about requesting permission to use a bathroom.
I thought she has to request permission to go back to her house or to go to bed or to take a walk. But asking permission of her husband to USE THE BATHROOM?
Did I miss that somewhere?
lol, you got your threads mixed up; this is the one about the idiot husband who told all the bedroom secrets to the brother in law; not the one with the idiot father in law with control issues.. but your question is still valid; don't know what asking permission to go to the bathroom has anything to do with anything in this thread...
For that reason I am considering lesbianism.
mard zaat is ehsan k leyee saree zindagee aap kee mashkoor rahey ge.
Thanks :)
Re: Guys are like this??
**Amazed by some posts here.
This thread is about a guy whose betrayed his wife trusts (yes call it what you want, but it was a betrayal pure and simple!)
So why are some of you people bringing in "oh girls do it just as badly" or "all guys are evil" argument?
Seriously--if you want to vent about something, go to blogs, leave your stupid agendas at the door!**
I went to see my sister this weekend. I found out that my husband is sharing very intimate details about us with my brother in law, and he was sharing detail about my sister to my husband (which is extremely gross I don’t know how my husband could have done that to me). I found out about this when my husband told me that my BIL was saying this and that about my sister and I was SHOCKED. I was like how did he shared those things with you did you said something about us? And he was like no I will not say anything like this about you. When I got up in the morning I was still very upset about what my BIL did, so I went and asked him why he was sharing their sex life’s detail with my husband and I told him the hadis that husband and wife are suppose to be clothes for each other and then he told me that do you know who started this whole thing who started to share the details about sex life (referring to my husband that he was the one). My husband was upstairs at the time I was talking to my BIL. When he found out I confronted my BIL and my BIL told me that my husband was equally involved in sharing my sex life with my BIL. Instead of being sorry my husband started to act up (saying stuff like I have nothing to do with your family anymore (in front of them) and I am leaving right now etc...). He never showed any remorse. The whole way we were driving back from my sister’s house (14 hrs drive) he did not try to apologize. So after we can home I packed my bag and left the house because for me this is a serious breach of trust if I cannot trust him to keep our sex life private then I cannot trust him for anything and what makes it worse is that he never tried to even apologize. Later I realized that he is sharing stuff with his friends as well because I remember my husband telling me that xyz was telling me that if you have religious wife (referring to his wife, who is religious) it is better because you will enjoy you sex life more and the same friend made a comment in front of me when we asked him and his wife to join us for camping, since it is so romantic under that stars he replied that whatever romance you are going to do we can video tape it and send it to me. Also my husband told me that my ‘x’ friend and his wife has to watch certain videos before he can do anything and I was like why the hell he is sharing that kind of stuff with you. I remember telling him that it changes my opinion about your friend and I will never be comfortable with him whenever I will see him or his wife I will think about the stuff you have told me about them. I told him that if you discuss me in this manor to your friends I will never forgive you. I especially asked him before going to my sister’s house that do not discuss my sister or me and gossip about us at all (since last time when I went to see my sister my husband was telling me a lot of bad stuff (not sexually related though) about my sister that my BIL said). So now not only they discussed us but in worse possible manor (which really disgust me) After all the warning I have given him, do you think I have over reacted when I left the house?
I personally don't know any guy who does anything like that.
Re: Guys are like this??
I think there are quiet a few idiots like your husband out there. A friend once told me that her husband came home after meeting a few of his friends and one of the friends was talking and said "last night I made your babhi screem" about his wife. She said her husband was so shocked that how could his friend say something like that about his wife in front of other men and said that now everytime he sees that friends wife, he can't talk to her. lol
And NO you did not overreact.
No just an example of how idiotic it is for a grown ass women to ask for permission for anything. You should definitely inform, but no adult needs to ask for permission before completing a daily task.
Can you please name one desi guy, that doesnt expect his wife to live with his parents, cook, clean, be his maid (when clearly Islam suggests that you get a maid for her if she cannot handle the work by herself), doesnt want her to be skinny, or gori, doesnt want her to look good all the time while cleaning, doesnt want her to smell like roses while cooking desi masala, doesnt want her to wait on him hand and foot even though she works full time, or even more than he does. Just name one DESI man that listens to his wife, the first time she asks him to do something that is for his OWN benefit, like work out, eat healthy, ETC.
As soon as we suggest something, the man stops listening. He feels that since he is the head of the household he should not be told what to do or how to do it. He especially doesn’t want to hear anything negative about himself or his parents, as soon as he does, instead of resolving the issue, he gets defensive, walks out and wants to be left alone.
I was listening to an Islamic lecture on this, a man does not want to listen to a women talking because he wants to be in control, he wants to hear the solution to the problem he doesnt want to hear how you feel, VS a woman who wants to vent first and than fix the problem. This is often a problem in our society. The husband does not want to listen, which leads to the women discussing her personal problems with other people, which is not justified according to Islam. The person who she speaks to may not have her well being and best interest in mind. But hey if you aint gonna listen to her SOMEONE will! You do the crime you will do the time.
Now, it is stated in many islamic lectures that human nature of men is to hear the problem, and hear the solution. But where is the resolution? What happens when a solution is being presented and the man walks away, and says he doesnt want to have to do anything with the girls family, like in this case?
How is that a man. Im sorry but selfish people like this are not men. They are spoiled children. The kind that rant and rave untill they get what they want.
Example: Beruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory made in 2005. Yes she completely fits the characteristics of this type of man.
Yes I know that not all men are like that. But a HUGE chunk are. Our society has a huge problem, everyone sees it but no one is willing to offer a solution. It is also not all the man’s fault. It takes two to tango. However, the fact that when faced with a problem a man will isolate himself greatly adds to the issue. Untill the man stands up, gives his wife her rights, and resolves this issue, she is not going to shut her mouth. Which may be wrong as well? But who in their right mind lets someone treat them badly and doesnt open their mouth. It is our right to inform someone when they hurt us in any way, shape, or form. However men consider this nakhre and whining.
I guess having your personal business shared with the entire world is no reason to get upset, how dare she! (SARCASIM).
haha, what can I say. I need to stand up for women. We have so many Islamic rights that men attempt to hide from us, if we discover them, we are told that “Oh its not like you follow Islam completely, you pick and choose, so you dont have the right to ask for anything that is supposed to be given to you”. On top of that they expect us to keep your mouth shut.
Sorry fellas it doesnt work that way. At one point or another you will get a reality check, realize your mistakes, and regret treating people this way, but it’s going to be too late by than.
hahahahahahahahahahah I almost fell out of my chair laughing… but than I realized that Im at work.
Im doing maad zaat and aurat zaat a favor. I’m spreading my love with the ones that deserve it, not the ones that dont! 
*Amazed by some posts here. *
This thread is about a guy whose betrayed his wife trusts (yes call it what you want, but it was a betrayal pure and simple!)
So why are some of you people bringing in "oh girls do it just as badly" or "all guys are evil" argument?
Seriously--if you want to vent about something, go to blogs, leave your stupid agendas at the door!
i apologize for venting. But I think we have a huge issue. What this girl is experiecing is a very common trait found in men from our background. I've seen so many of my friends suffer from this to the point where they are not the same person anymore. So I feel bad for this girl. I am trying to explain the man's nature to her from a women's point of view, not from a man's point of view. As a woman will not understand that a man doesnt want to admitt he is wrong and make it right because he the head of the household. I am trying to break it down and explain that it is in his nature, as venting is in ours.
I unfortunately do not have a solution to offer, other than ignore ignore ignore. Not the problem, IGNORE HIM! He doesn't deserve anything from his wife if he acts like this.
That is the only thing that has worked when my friends have run into this problem.
Re: Guys are like this??
DB I agree with you. These kinds of guys just were not raised right.
Re: Guys are like this??
This is such a non-issue. The cat's already out of the bag. Both parties are at fault for throwing tantrums. That does little to resolve the problem.
For all the ladies, if you're afraid strangers (men) will think of you in pervy ways if your husband shares your sex life, you don't need to worry. I can guarantee men need no provocation to sexually objectify you in their minds.
DB I agree with you. These kinds of guys just were not raised right.
Yup.
Har waqt Islam ka naam lehte hain. Likhan jab amal kar ne ka waqt ata hain, to aag lag jahti hain.
Re: Guys are like this??
Ewwwwwwwwwww gross much?? Normal guys do not go around sharing their sex life with their buds........
This is such a non-issue. The cat's already out of the bag. Both parties are at fault for throwing tantrums. That does little to resolve the problem.
For all the ladies, if you're afraid strangers (men) will think of you in pervy ways if your husband shares your sex life, you don't need to worry. I can guarantee men need no provocation to sexually objectify you in their minds.
You sir (or ma'am) are in the minority then.
Stranger men can think whatever the heck they want, but its a different issue when husband is the one telling all the sexual secrets. That's not right nor is it a non-issue.
Prev ? oh yea Agreed - all the gals who do that , are prevs :)
by the way what do girls do to prevent honeymoon cystitis AKA UTI ?
Stop doing it coitus more ferarum
Can you please name one desi guy, that doesnt expect his wife to live with his parents, cook, clean, be his maid (when clearly Islam suggests that you get a maid for her if she cannot handle the work by herself), doesnt want her to be skinny, or gori, doesnt want her to look good all the time while cleaning, doesnt want her to smell like roses while cooking desi masala, doesnt want her to wait on him hand and foot even though she works full time, or even more than he does. Just name one DESI man that listens to his wife, the first time she asks him to do something that is for his OWN benefit, like work out, eat healthy, ETC.
I know plenty of men who are not like you described, people in my family and others I've known growing up. You don't know any of them so my listing random names has no point. You are stereotyping like crazy. Ofcourse there are men like you have described. I'll even give you that they may be a majority; but you can't name one guy that isn't like that (since you are asking me to name one); lol; I'm sorry you are surrounded by all horrendous desi men; I guess that would include men in your family too right? Because that is YOUR logic; that all desi guys are like that. Now stereotyping doens't sound so much fun does it?
As soon as we suggest something, the man stops listening. He feels that since he is the head of the household he should not be told what to do or how to do it. He especially doesn't want to hear anything negative about himself or his parents, as soon as he does, instead of resolving the issue, he gets defensive, walks out and wants to be left alone.
I was listening to an Islamic lecture on this, a man does not want to listen to a women talking because he wants to be in control, he wants to hear the solution to the problem he doesnt want to hear how you feel, VS a woman who wants to vent first and than fix the problem. This is often a problem in our society. The husband does not want to listen, which leads to the women discussing her personal problems with other people, which is not justified according to Islam. The person who she speaks to may not have her well being and best interest in mind. But hey if you aint gonna listen to her SOMEONE will! You do the crime you will do the time.
So, you're saying that if a husband is being unreasonable; and yes in the case you just said of not listening to his wife is unreasonable (I agree), then the wife should just willy nilly talk to anyone? Wouldn't a person know who has their best interest at heart (parents, siblings, best friend etc) and talk to them about their problem. Again, your point doesn't make much sense. If a husband is being unreasonable, then a wife should too. That's great logic.
Now, it is stated in many islamic lectures that human nature of men is to hear the problem, and hear the solution. But where is the resolution? What happens when a solution is being presented and the man walks away, and says he doesnt want to have to do anything with the girls family, like in this case?
How is that a man. Im sorry but selfish people like this are not men. They are spoiled children. The kind that rant and rave untill they get what they want.
Yes, then the man is an idiot! And I have already statred that previously in this thread. You probably skipped over it.
Example: Beruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory made in 2005. Yes she completely fits the characteristics of this type of man.
Yes I know that not all men are like that. But a HUGE chunk are. Our society has a huge problem, everyone sees it but no one is willing to offer a solution. It is also not all the man's fault. It takes two to tango. However, the fact that when faced with a problem a man will isolate himself greatly adds to the issue. Untill the man stands up, gives his wife her rights, and resolves this issue, she is not going to shut her mouth. Which may be wrong as well? But who in their right mind lets someone treat them badly and doesnt open their mouth. It is our right to inform someone when they hurt us in any way, shape, or form. However men consider this nakhre and whining.
*So now you finally state that it is a huge chunk and not all men. Thank you for not generalizing like you just did a few paragraphs above by asking to state even ONE desi who isn't like that. *
I guess having your personal business shared with the entire world is no reason to get upset, how dare she! (SARCASIM).
And I already called the OP's husband an idiot for behaving the way he did. :)
And I apologize to the OP and Sara for continuing this; but if someone is going to respond to me with such passion; it is only right that I respond back.