Wow. How old your husband? I am in NO way rationalizing his behavior but the reason why he stormed off when he found out that your BIL told him that your husband shares explicit information about your marriage, I truly think he was embarrassed and caught red handed. At least he feels something in this situation.
I don't think it was wrong of you to leave the house. You told him before never to share details about your marriage. He seems so immature. Unfortunately, I don't think anything you say to him to make him understand why his actions are wrong will actually change him. Has he called you at all? This is just awful!
The guy seems like a rare piece of species. And co-incidence that your brother in Law is replica of your husband. Amazing.
I am a Guy. I can state with authority that about 78~87% guys , whether desi/ Non-desi , Muslim/Non Muslims Do not share their intimacy secrets with friends , colleagues etc.
However, we guys are not angels. About the same percentage of us guys Do enjoy looking at pretty and hot babes, chicks.
You women folks can Throw stones, hurl abuse at your will. I stated facts only.
Now comming back to the topic which requires intensive screening and staunch testing before I could comment.
Ms njavaeed ! I request you to please answer my questions. If you do, only then I will comment on your husbands nasty behaviour.
Q1. How long have you been married ? No. of children ?
Q2. What are other bad habbits of your husband ? How your family /relative and friends see him as a person ?
Q3. What is his life style ? Is he Metro-sexual. What about your B. in law ?
I'm very sorry that you're in this horrible situation. I think your reaction is very understandable, and your husband is going to have to take active steps to regain your trust....
Why do men have such a problem admitting that they are wrong, apologizing, and making changes.
Men have control issues. They feel that we are disrespecting them if we say anything to them, other than dinners ready. They want us to ask for permission to friggin use the bathroom. Please make sure you ask your husband for permission before you die. I mean how can we dare to offend him and take the next step without his approval.
I am considering lesbianism. Please PM me if your interested. lol
Why do men have such a problem admitting that they are wrong, apologizing, and making changes.
Men have control issues. They feel that we are disrespecting them if we say anything to them, other than dinners ready**. They want us to ask for permission to friggin use the bathroom. **Please make sure you ask your husband for permission before you die. I mean how can we dare to offend him and take the next step without his approval.
I am considering lesbianism. Please PM me if your interested. lol
Ok,** I know guys are more open about this kind of stuff with their friends**. Go ahead, share YOUR stuff, not your wife's. Just because you two have a (sex) life together, does not mean you own her sex life to share it.
in your pyscho world. in our it's girls who do that !
it's just your husband & bil are like that. no one else !
I went to see my sister this weekend. I found out that my husband is sharing very intimate details about us with my brother in law, and he was sharing detail about my sister to my husband (which is extremely gross I don’t know how my husband could have done that to me).
I found out about this when my husband told me that my BIL was saying this and that about my sister and I was SHOCKED. I was like how did he shared those things with you did you said something about us? And he was like no I will not say anything like this about you. When I got up in the morning I was still very upset about what my BIL did, so I went and asked him why he was sharing their sex life’s detail with my husband and I told him the hadis that husband and wife are suppose to be clothes for each other and then he told me that do you know who started this whole thing who started to share the details about sex life (referring to my husband that he was the one).
My husband was upstairs at the time I was talking to my BIL. When he found out I confronted my BIL and my BIL told me that my husband was equally involved in sharing my sex life with my BIL. Instead of being sorry my husband started to act up (saying stuff like I have nothing to do with your family anymore (in front of them) and I am leaving right now etc...).
He never showed any remorse. The whole way we were driving back from my sister’s house (14 hrs drive) he did not try to apologize. So after we can home I packed my bag and left the house because for me this is a serious breach of trust if I cannot trust him to keep our sex life private then I cannot trust him for anything and what makes it worse is that he never tried to even apologize.
Later I realized that he is sharing stuff with his friends as well because I remember my husband telling me that xyz was telling me that if you have religious wife (referring to his wife, who is religious) it is better because you will enjoy you sex life more and the same friend made a comment in front of me when we asked him and his wife to join us for camping, since it is so romantic under that stars he replied that whatever romance you are going to do we can video tape it and send it to me.
Also my husband told me that my ‘x’ friend and his wife has to watch certain videos before he can do anything and I was like why the hell he is sharing that kind of stuff with you. I remember telling him that it changes my opinion about your friend and I will never be comfortable with him whenever I will see him or his wife I will think about the stuff you have told me about them. I told him that if you discuss me in this manor to your friends I will never forgive you.
I especially asked him before going to my sister’s house that do not discuss my sister or me and gossip about us at all (since last time when I went to see my sister my husband was telling me a lot of bad stuff (not sexually related though) about my sister that my BIL said).
So now not only they discussed us but in worse possible manor (which really disgust me)
After all the warning I have given him, do you think I have over reacted when I left the house?
Just wondering - so you women dont do that and if you do , up to what extent you go ?
Urgh. Perv.
To be honest, I'm sure there are girls that let the cat out of the bag. Most of my girlfriends are married and that topic DOES NOT COME UP.
I've heard of girls talking in more vague terms, but usually has to do with UTI's, etc. Like "OMG I keep getting UTI's now that I'm married. What do you do to prevent them??"
To be honest, I'm sure there are girls that let the cat out of the bag. Most of my girlfriends are married and that topic DOES NOT COME UP.
I've heard of girls talking in more vague terms, but usually has to do with UTI's, etc. Like "OMG I keep getting UTI's now that I'm married. What do you do to prevent them??"
That kind of stuff.
Prev ? oh yea Agreed - all the gals who do that , are prevs :)
by the way what do girls do to prevent honeymoon cystitis AKA UTI ?
Guys normally dont do it and Desi guys? I'd guess around 90% follow the norm but there always are few who dont follow the norm.
btw, while we are talking about this, I know many desi girls have no hesitation telling about their intimate details to their close friends and sisters (and in few cases to their mothers too).
Guys normally dont do it and Desi guys? I'd guess around 90% follow the norm but there always are few who dont follow the norm.
btw, while we are talking about this, I know many desi girls have no hesitation telling about their intimate details to their friends and sisters (and in few cases to their mothers too). Just imagine if guys show same reaction as you are showing ....
Where is the confusion? lol. Im saying that what he did was wrong. He was well aware, that is why he got defensive. That is a common trait among men, ESPECIALLY desi men. They have control issues, so if they are wrong, instead of apologizing, they get defensive and want to be left alone.
If your wrong, your wrong. Your not up to Allah’s level you are capable of making mistakes, and when a mistake is made you should apologize.
Sometimes we unawarely hurt others, when this happens dont try to present an explanation as this will be perceived as an excuse. Apologize, and show your spouse that you are hurt, when they are hurt.
how are you babe?!