Just wanted to get ppls ideas on growing up outside of pakistan but then coming back to marry sumone…
either girl or guy
doesnt matter
whoever is in that situation or willl
share ur thoughts
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
One of my best friends has been through that. She was born and raised here, went back to get married.
The first year she lived there with her husband, but she preferred to be here. So now here husband is here too, and they're very happy Mash'Allah. :)
Personally I believe it's a hassle, for both parties. Or you have to compromise and just settle in Pakistan. But that all depends on the situation.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Good and bad:
Good if there is mutual respect for each other as people and willingness to negotiate cross cultural upbringings.
Bad if the marriage is based in inauthentic constructions of gender specific cultural expectations and notions; i.e. a Pakistani bride will be more submissive than a Pakistani American bride.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
i myself am faced with a similar dilema...my fiance wants to live in pakistan after marriage..but im from england and i dont know if it will all just be too much for me...i like pakistan but living in pakistan is different than going on holiday to pakistan..
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
yeh completely true
living there is a huge adjustment
even my fiance wants to stay there aftre marriage
n i can see where hes coming from cuz he grew up there n all.....
i also feel that growing up in the west n growing up in pakistan u have completely different views on things so while marriage is already a huge adjustment for any couple its harder wen u grew up in totally different places n then have to live together
lots of compromise, patience n need to be very open minded n willing to change
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Well i am still young so havent reali thought about this... I live in London but my future plans are to get good education InshAllah....Go back to Islamabad, settle there (probably in blue area:@:)..get a nice job and than find one girl within Pakistan and get married.... InshAllah.... I hope everything works out :)
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Ive seen it happen very successfully, Mashallah.
Ive also seen couples break up after moving across the country (Chicago to Texas - can you believe it?) because they simply couldnt adjust to the lifestyle difference.
It really does depend on the people involved and how much they are willing to work on their relationship.
Besides...Pakistanis fresh from back home are not as backwards we think they are in the west. For the most part, they adjust pretty well.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
i didnt knw …y peeep want their children to get married in pak …whts the theme behind ths … didnt they find good rishtaizz in west … especially in gals cases 
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Because they want an acha bacha...parents believe guys here might be too westernized and mistreat their daughters.
Ive seen it happen very successfully, Mashallah.
Ive also seen couples break up after moving across the country (Chicago to Texas - can you believe it?) because they simply couldnt adjust to the lifestyle difference.
It really does depend on the people involved and how much they are willing to work on their relationship.
Besides...Pakistanis fresh from back home are not as backwards we think they are in the west. For the most part, they adjust pretty well.
it depends on their background in pakistan, urban vs rural, educated vs uneducated well off vs not well off, liberal vs conservative..I mean where do they fall along the line between these factors.
the issues are not just US culture but lifestyle as well, not having help, or help being expensive so not using help for all chores etc can be a big strain as well. seen it with girls and guys coming from Pakistan.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
If one party is completely unwilling to move to the fiance's country, then why even marry in the first place? Where to live after marriage is something that should be talked about prior to the marriage, before the couple gets serious or the rishta is approved..
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
My friend is also going through something similar. Her guy is in England, she's here. He wants her to move to London after marriage, she's a little scared about the move. I think whoever moves should be supported by their partner in adjusting as much as possible- so their partner can know that it's appreciated. After all, there is tons of sacrfice and compromising involved in moving continents. Even cities.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Its a huge adjustment when you move to another country. I know a gal who lived in Pak and moved to US with her new hubby. She grew up over there, in a nice town, nice schools, college, lots of people in her house (extended family living), servants to clean, food shop, drive, cook and do laundry. So when she came here, it was to a small apartment with just her and her hubby. There is some family nearby but this life is so very different. She had a rough few months but is now adjusting happily. The thing that made the difference is that her hubby has a lovely, kind heart and was so very supportive to her. He helped her with all the household stuff, took her out every single evening after work - showed her all the grocery stores and helped her learn a bit of cooking. They go out to movies and dinners and she goes to a community college and works part time now.
When you have a good partner it will make all the difference in the world as to whether you can adjust or not.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
thats completely true
if u have the support of ur spouse it makes a huge difference.....
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
Initially my husband wanted to go back and live there. I considered it but now that I have kids - I would never want to move back. My parents are here and so are his. There is just no point.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
please dont!!
save your self little and other ppl lot of trouble.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
^ PM - I didn't know you were being sarcastic or agreeing with me
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
mean either.
dont think too much.
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
ok
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
well....todays parents think that pakistani people r soooo gooooood..and everyone should get married in pakistan..they r sooooooo wrong lol........pakistan nowadays is worse than west..:S...they do everything..which WE have never tried....
khair...my sister got married in pakistan..first when her hubby came to europe..he was so desperate ....nazrein har blondie pe hgoti thi..yuck..
i dont know why boys fomr pakistan r so desperate sometimes :S
khair...now after 4 years he is MUCH BETTER..thank Allah lol