Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
i dont think boys from pakistan r desperate
certainly my fiance is not
he didnt even look at me the first time we met , he has haya and for that matter i know alot of guys in pakistan or recently moved from there to go to uni here n they have haya too
so it doesnt matter if hes from the west or east ager uski nazer achi nahi hai then thats the way it will be no matter where he grew up
my parents choose my fiance becuz of him, his values and thats hes from a good family
where he resides in the world is of no difference to me or them
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
my sister got married in pakistan and they're both going to live in the states where she grew up. i dont want to get married to someone from pakistan b/c i couldnt do it, it takes alot of compromises which i dont think i could fulfill
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
am in the similar position am going back to pakistan to marry i agree that it takes adjustments but also more important is about how much love and commitment is needed to be living together.
i been to pakistan last year, things have deteriorated, poverty there stands out, people are not as freindly as before maybe cos they got a lot on their mind, but there are good people there as well so am not really tarring everyone there
it depends on their background in pakistan, urban vs rural, educated vs uneducated well off vs not well off, liberal vs conservative..I mean where do they fall along the line between these factors.
the issues are not just US culture but lifestyle as well, not having help, or help being expensive so not using help for all chores etc can be a big strain as well. seen it with girls and guys coming from Pakistan.
I agree with the first part about educational backgrounds not matching and lifestyles clashing as well. Those differences can lead to a divorce.
However, the second part is something that can be worked, no? Isnt that a living adjustment you make when you start to live with your spouse?
Re: Growing up in the west n coming back home to marry???
I think it works best with an ABCD guy and a FOB girl. A FOB girl gains more privileges and autonomy here compared to Pakistan, and girls tend to adjust easier. With a FOB guy, sometimes he resents being in the subservient position as a newcomer and having to be sponsored by his ABCD wife. Also FOB guys might have expectations of their wife that ABCD girls dont agree with....on the other hand, most ABCD guys are more liberal minded and lenient. NOT ALL tho...ex. my bro is a total American but i think he sees women in a desi way bc my mom makes him a custom dinner everyday and does his laundry and he is in college. I feel sorry for his wife in advance; he is going to be a really annoying husband to any person, ABCD or FOB. Basically it can work but you are adding extra differences to the relationship so it will require extra compromise.