Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
yeah..its easy 4 us too mjudge but iv seen it myself in paksitna..when servants get sp oiled..its their job 2 do what htey do..if u start treating like them family they will expect his treatemtn all the time even at times where it will be hard 4 ut o do that no matter hownice n humble u r..
Right… because we gotta have our mules under control.
No, they don’t have nakhray. They just have the strength when they see your kindness to ask for rights.
You can lay rules down for the payments without degrading someone and making them feel like trash. Two separate things.
And frankly, they know they aren’t respected. So how the heck do you expect them to give any respect to you? They’re gonna take advantage of you, as they well should. You folks have screwed them over enough. I’m surprised they don’t all light up torches and burn your houses down, the way you people treat them.
jaisi ruh, waisay farishtay.
If I ever have a servant/maid, I'll make sure she's respected and treated nicely by us.
"Maid". Not "servant".
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^Don't even quote me.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
Why not?
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
u just see waht u see..u dont know what is the surroundign cirumstances..
for ex..u said u saw soemone screaming at servant..maybe i nthe beginning they did not do that..but maybe now the servant is getting lazy or not doing thei r job properly ..n sometimes they do it on purpose..iv seen vindictive servants in pak..anywayzz..so thats maybe y at htat prtclr time they scremaed at htem..
they jsut look all innocet to u bcs u havnt seen the whole filmjust clips..
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
Why do you think they're vindictive? Why do you think servants leak out information about where your gold is, and how to get into your house to robbers? Why do you think they have zero sense of loyalty to you?
If their job is so bad that you have to get on their case, then don't hire them and do the work yourself. I assure you, cleaning a toilet is not that bad. It is your own waste, after all.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
o kuriye..tenu teh baas behs karn da shok e..te tenu kuch samjnh da koi faida vi neh
u wont understand this unless u have experience..ok .. if u give naukars too much sheh they start hrowing tantrums..nd dont do their owrk properly ..cause now u made them used to this good treatment..u shouldnt act all righteous giving ur highness opinions whne u dont understand soemting..
and one is not allowed to have an opinion? God forbid
who gives everyone else the right to throw a tantrum? We get as much as we give... simple
Why do you think they're vindictive? Why do you think servants leak out information about where your gold is, and how to get into your house to robbers? Why do you think they have zero sense of loyalty to you?
If their job is so bad that you have to get on their case, then don't hire them and do the work yourself. I assure you, cleaning a toilet is not that bad. It is your own waste, after all.
why do these people do such things?? and if u dont trust them, why hire them?! Give them money, send them to school.. be their guardian or something...
I think it can go either way. I have cousins out here in the west who have been born and raised here- these girls range between abt 18-20 and their mom's still make their breakfast for them (yes, even cereal) and who don't even know how to do basic things such as fry samosas, etc. These girls haven't had hired help throughout their lives but rather their mother's have juz been willing to do every single thing for them. Bad? Yes. Uncommon? No.
While I know how to do the basics (can't cook though), I don't do much around the house at the moment as I am just way too busy with uni. Having said that though I must confess that my dear dad doesn't let me do much either - yes slightly spoiled,but the point is when my mom needs help of course i'm there.
Now let's contrast this to another one of my cousin's living in Pak. She is 12 years old and her family is extremely wealthy. They have so many servants, drivers etc that I lose count. She can cook and LOVES helping the maids with the cleaning. Has anyone ever asked her to? No. In fact everyone discourages her as much as possible but she still continues to do so.
So I guess my point is that it's really not just the girls in Pak who aren't doing much around the house- it goes both ways.
o kuriye..tenu teh baas behs karn da shok e..te tenu kuch samjnh da koi faida vi neh
See, if you learned to talk to people, maybe your servants wouldn't give you such a hassle.
BTW, I'm not your servant. So behave.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
princess ur missing the point.
It's not about the west or east... at least i didnt think of it that way.
the conversatoin did go off on a tangent about how aunties go back tto pakistan to find a DIL and how some of these DILs dont know anything about normal housework. I did point out that there are numerous girls here in the west who are the same.. who havent done much before getting married.
But who is asking anyone to do anything before getting married? What we're saying (or at least I am) is that one should be aware of the changes that come with marriage. The responsibilities they need to take up... and be ABLE to actually do such things. It's not about doing these things prior to getting married... but benig accepting of them and not brushing it off as "oh i was rich and had maids all my life.. so its not my fault i dont know how to do it"
and hey, who knows how to fry samosa's before getting married? I never did... u learn. Learning is part of growing up.
There are many guys and girls back in pakistan from well off families who know how to do a lot of things. It's not an argument about back home and here.. who is better.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
And frankly, if a guy gets in the kitchen and fries a samosa or two, it wont kill him .
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^ PCG, the best female cooks are those that have husbands who help them out
Seriously
if anyone compliments my food, my husbands ears automatically perk up... cus he's waiting for me to mention his name... which i do :)
if only men knew that
I think it can go either way. I have cousins out here in the west who have been born and raised here- these girls range between abt 18-20 and their mom's still make their breakfast for them (yes, even cereal) and who don't even know how to do basic things such as fry samosas, etc. These girls haven't had hired help throughout their lives but rather their mother's have juz been willing to do every single thing for them. Bad? Yes. Uncommon? No
that is so true, i have personally seen this in several home here, the moms are shamelessly being used as maids...all the cooking, cleaning, chores, responsibility of the entire home rests on their shoulders. my own khala is one of those women, she has spoilt her kids rotten and now there is no going back as they get expect it now and take her for granted. it all comes down to upbringing, whether a hired help is being abused for all the work in the house or your own mother, which is much worse in my opinion.
when i asked my khala to stop the babying and take it easy, she said she wanted to giver her kids the comfort that she herslef was deprived of when she was their age, moved to the US from Pakistan and went over and above to fulfill her duties to fit in. lets all go and talk to our own fobby moms and relatives and ask them if they indulged in their princess syndrome or worked like a mule to make a home for their family. and the saddest thing i hear from her kids is that they don't want to end up 'like our mom', they say it to her face, i feel like punching their lights out for taking all her hard work and sacrifice for granted and throw it in her face.
that is so true, i have personally seen this in several home here, the moms are shamelessly being used as maids...all the cooking, cleaning, chores, responsibility of the entire home rests on their shoulders. my own khala is one of those women, she has spoilt her kids rotten and now there is no going back as they get expect it now and take her for granted. it all comes down to upbringing, whether a hired help is being abused for all the work in the house or your own mother, which is much worse in my opinion.
when i asked my khala to stop the babying and take it easy, she said she wanted to giver her kids the comfort that she herslef was deprived of when she was their age, moved to the US from Pakistan and went over and above to fulfill her duties to fit in. lets all go and talk to our own fobby moms and relatives and ask them if they indulged in their princess syndrome or worked like a mule to make a home for their family. and the saddest thing i hear from her kids is that they don't want to end up 'like our mom', they say it to her face, i feel like punching their lights out for taking all her hard work and sacrifice for granted and throw it in her face.
This is exactly I've been seeing in my relatives in the UK too. It's just sad sad sad.
princess ur missing the point.
It's not about the west or east... at least i didnt think of it that way.
the conversatoin did go off on a tangent about how aunties go back tto pakistan to find a DIL and how some of these DILs dont know anything about normal housework. I did point out that there are numerous girls here in the west who are the same.. who havent done much before getting married.
But who is asking anyone to do anything before getting married? What we're saying (or at least I am) is that one should be aware of the changes that come with marriage. The responsibilities they need to take up... and be ABLE to actually do such things. It's not about doing these things prior to getting married... but benig accepting of them and not brushing it off as "oh i was rich and had maids all my life.. so its not my fault i dont know how to do it"
and hey, who knows how to fry samosa's before getting married? I never did... u learn. Learning is part of growing up.
There are many guys and girls back in pakistan from well off families who know how to do a lot of things. It's not an argument about back home and here.. who is better.
I understand that the topic is not about east and west. I was merely pointing out that it's not always only the rich girls who don't do anything around the house and then have trouble adjusting after marriage. As I mentioned in my previous post, my very wealthy younger cousin knows how to do EVERYTHING which contrasts sharply to some girls here who know nothing.
BTW Iv'e known how to fry samosas since I was 15. And my older brother has been frying chips since he was 12.
the saddest thing i hear from her kids is that they don't want to end up 'like our mom', they say it to her face, i feel like punching their lights out for taking all her hard work and sacrifice for granted and throw it in her face.
How old are they?
Not that I'm proud to admit it, but I used to be like that way back when I was very young and immature. But, a few chittars here and there (from life, not mom :))...I know that's not the right attitude to have.
hopefully they will grow out of that stage as well..
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^ they are in their teens, at the top of the world they think. may i ask you, did you actually mean it back then or were you kidding around? i used to think they were just teasing their mom but then i heard them use that as a punchline in several of their tantrum fests and i felt so bad for my khala. i hope they grow out of it too, for her sake, she really doesn't deserve this kind of attitude. when i tell her she's gotta straighten them out, she says all the kids these days are like that in their community, she is not the only one going throught it...but that still doesn't make it right!
the way i see it, she made it all look so easy for them, never complaining, never letting them lift a finger that they just assumed that it was all effortless...she is partly to blame i guess.