Hallelujah !!! 
This is not even related to this thread but I don't see many people with Pakistani origin in the West contributing to the Western society either. We have bad reputation here in the West too imported or non imported together.
Btw, I remember you opening a thread on women spending too much on their weddings. lol
Some people have too much time for whining. No offence though, I'm just trying to be equally annoying.
you got my thread wrong! and are confusing me with someone else :).. i was promoting wise spending habits..on how to avoid additional suffering that revolves AROUND the wedding day..by NO means i was playing down the wedding day itself..
along with the usual anti jehaz crap that most pakistanis cant dodge themselves out of...
anyway..thats old news..
just because i am presenting the other side of the coin which is VERY relevant to the issue...doesnt mean you can disregard the ugly truth that comes with the lifestyle being glorified.
you got my thread wrong! and are confusing me with someone else :).. i was promoting wise spending habits..on how to avoid additional suffering that revolves AROUND the wedding day..by NO means i was playing down the wedding day itself.. along with the usual anti jehaz crap that most pakistanis cant dodge themselves out of... anyway..thats old news.. just because i am presenting the other side of the coin which is VERY relevant to the issue...doesnt mean you can disregard the ugly truth that comes with the lifestyle being glorified.
Well I'm glad that you are nothing like Pakistanis. :)
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
wow... seriously? i am glad my post flew right over you :)
reform only comes when you think there is something wrong.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
proud to be the royal pakistani princess living in pakistan :p
(even though I do manage to take a glass of water on my own now and then :D and that is something coming from one of the spoilt pakistani brats who just whinee all the time about how they cant manage
a house on their own)
maybe someone does read b/w the lines and does realise to stop comparing or looking down on our OWN beloved country and the different lifestyles here. and not to keep on thinking that ALL pakistani girls are those pampered spoilt brats :) (no offence meant at all honestly, just giving my opinion)
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^Exactly, majority is poor in Pak who hardly afford to eat three times, but some people are making it look like a total heaven full of posh people.
let me clearfy- he asked her when he first got to her house from the airport, if he could get a cold glass of water as he did not want to seem intrusive and go into someones kitchen that was not his, and she send her maid. Even when he would not know where things were in the house, for example he asked where the extra towels were, where the plates were in the kitchen, the girl would get her maid to do everything, but she apparently loved my husband's cousin. SHe kept telling him "when i come to america, i can't wait to drive, when i come to america i can't wait to buy new shoes and purses and stuff." He even asked her, when you come what is the first thing we should do toegther in terms of an outing, and she responded, buy my new wardrobe, and new LV purse, and he's like after that? SHe's like ohh we'll get tired shopping so we will go home and have the maid cook us something.
When they ate breakfast for example after they were done, the girl would ask her maid to clean up the table, whereas my husband's cousin would pick up his own dishes and wash at least those. When they were going out the girl would ask her maid to get her shoes, and husband's cousin would get his own. husband's cousin would make his own bed, and the girl would have the maid do it. Get the picture- he told us, he wonders if she does anything on her own, because the maid does everything for her to the point of carrying her shopping if she bought anything while there were out.
how is that any better?
The quicker we come out of this servant culure and mindset, the better. There is some pride in doing your own work, and some value in that. The value of independence as oppose to exploiting other human beings because you have the money. Don't tell me servants in Pakistan aren't treated sub-human.
For me, that's why I wouldn't marry anyone from Pakistan period - man or woman. Because they treat each other like crap and that is normal to them. I don't like those set of values.
I completey agree what PCG has said! Thank you and thank you. When i come back from home and no matter how tired I am...i warm food from my own hands and put my clothes in washing machine if i have to. Part of good human being as well as man/woman is to his/her part in the house and living good life by creating balance and be humble!. Be it women or men. As far as issue of using "servants" to do chores..no matter how rich and not how rich you are has nothing to do with it. This life is temporary enjoyment..so why shouldn't we use this as a opportunity to do ibadah by doing everything from our own hands. I would rather give that money to a charity which will benefit our fellow human being. We have a maid that comes every week to clean couple of things because my mother and father are sick and old. And that is too because i work long shifts on weekends.
Anyhow, the goal is not to be a spoil brat if Allah has blessed somebody with wealth. I do not feel ashamed cleaning and maintaing my house in my time and insha'allah i will continue it...after getting married as well.
As far as this whole thread goes, the key to successful life in this temporary dwelling is to be humble toward your spouse. And do things from from his/her hand if he/she has to and should know these basic task of life.
The quicker we come out of this servant culure and mindset, the better. There is some pride in doing your own work, and some value in that. The value of independence as oppose to exploiting other human beings because you have the money. Don't tell me servants in Pakistan aren't treated sub-human.
For me, that's why I wouldn't marry anyone from Pakistan period - man or woman. Because they treat each other like crap and that is normal to them. I don't like those set of values.
C'mon what are you talking about. Please do not generalise, there are great people in Pakistan (though a lot of the people I know are not). Though I was born and brought up abroad for a significant part of my childhood, I spent the majority of my life in Pakistan, and I am proud of that because it made me the person I am.
i duntknow which scewed pakistani popultion u guyz have seen but the majority of pakistanis..good majoriyt of girlz know how to do cook n clean..nd they do it damn well..nd even when they have srevants they do the main part of cooking themselves and just have htem help out wiht adjacent minor stuff.. so CaLm UrselVes DoWn!
maybe u ladies r mad 4 somethin elese n taking it out on here..its not those girlz fault that they r chosen over merican born girlzz..:p
That’s ridiculous. We have maasis come to my grandparents’ home too, but they basically do jharoo/poncha, and then leave to go off to other homes.
I threw a fit one time when they hired some of these girls to help with my cousins wedding. They told the girls to feel free to dress up and come to the wedding (prior to the wedding they were helping arranging things), and at the wedding, one of the maasi girls who I had made friends with - I went up to her and gave her a gajra (sp?) (you know one of those flower bracelets) - and my mom threw a fit. She’s like, why are you wasting the gajras on them.
I was like, woman, seriously???
I gave the girl TWO gajras in front of my mom’s face, and told her that if she wants more, she can get more from me if I have any left later.
It’s so wrong, you know. The curses of the poor haunt one for a loooong time.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
That's not all. There's this pathan guy who comes to my mamoo's house, and for some money, he runs them errands, deals with their garden, makes some food for them in the kitchen if they're gonna have a party, that sort of thing.
So, my mamoo's family was visiting us this winter, and we asked if what Akbar (the pathan guy) wants - because he has a baby now and he's always excited about getting things for her) and the only thing he ever asks for is socks from America.
SOCKS.
And my friggin family was like, no, we dont have room to take anything for a servant of all people.
I was like, SERIOUSLY.
?
A pair of friggin SOCKS.
Don't tell me this servant culture does any of you folks any good. Guys should think TWICE about marrying a girl from over there who is deeply entrenched in this culture. You're basically marrying someone who is ok with human exploitation. If that's who you want raising your kids, then go ahead. But I was under the impression you men want simple, seedhi saadhi girls with good values raising your kids?
No?
I know, right!
We used to stay in our khaala’s house in lahore until we bought our own house in lahore last year… and every time we went outside to a restaurant for dinner, my khaala’s servants would come with us so they could mind the kids while khaala enjoys her meal.
So I gave a chair to the servant girl, made her sit beside me and eat with us on the table and we had a great time , we made silly jokes and laughed our heads off for no reason! lol
khaalu said to my mother “apki betiyan lagta nahin hai k bahar se ayi hain” … coz they were probably expecting us to treat the poor worse than the pakistanis do…
khala/khalu however are very kind to their servants, don’t take me wrong.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
What's wrong with hanging out with them? First of all, the term "servants" is just so bad.
They are getting paid for a service. Do we call babysitters we hire in the west "servants"? Do we call the caterer a "servant"? Do we call the roofer a "servant"? Do we call our gardener the "servant"?
No.
So, why is the term "servant" used for these people? And if these rich people had any sharam, they would take the money they're using to pay the servants and money they're using for trivial nonsense and PAY for the schooling of some of the kids they hire.
Then there is the problem of " Oh I can't send my kid to public school, he'll sit next to the maasis kid".
What the heck gives these Pakistanis the right to think they have this power over others??
What the heck gives these Pakistanis the right to think they have this power over others??
money.
:k:
I have observed that too or may be I “feel” it more whenever I am visiting Pakistan. They way people talk to “maaasis” and handymen …aaah. They will talk all nice etc with your “aeyee living room main baithyeee” and then they will turn to “maaasi” and say “ja pani lai ker aaa”
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
PCG it's all about humility, scarce these days but still there if you look for it hard enough.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
jaisi ruh, waisay farishtay.
If I ever have a servant/maid, I'll make sure she's respected and treated nicely by us.
u wont understand this unless u have experience..ok .. if u give naukars too much sheh they start hrowing tantrums..nd dont do their owrk properly ..cause now u made them used to this good treatment..u shouldnt act all righteous giving ur highness opinions whne u dont understand soemting..
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^lolz...actually you're right too.