Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
I think girls from a Western country will have similar or even worse problems with settling in Pakistan, not all but quite a lot of them won't like being there for so many different reasons.
But it doesn't mean that they are bad or evil.
I think girls from a Western country will have similar or even worse problems with settling in Pakistan, not all but quite a lot of them won't like being there for so many different reasons.
But it doesn't mean that they are bad or evil.
Regardless of where you are from & where you are settling, the person should not go into it with their eyes closed. They should be aware of possible changes etc 7 try to prepare for them. Plus wherever you are, life can throw some serious changes at you. Person should try to adjust/learn rather than cry over what lifestyle they had.
Regardless of where you are from & where you are settling, the person should not go into it with their eyes closed. They should be aware of possible changes etc 7 try to prepare for them. Plus wherever you are, life can throw some serious changes at you. Person should try to adjust/learn rather than cry over what lifestyle they had.
This is when the phrase comes to mind "walk a mile in her shoes". :)
May be it's the class and lifestyle difference that we can't understand each other, I'm sure if I go to Pakistan, I'll find many people annoying there but i won't start hating them or break ties with them.
This is when the phrase comes to mind "walk a mile in her shoes". :)
Sure only the person who is going through a certain thing knows what she feels....but still. Even a person who moves from 1 country to another country (or city) for new employment does some research on the new place/new lifestyle etc. What they can expect/changes. You can't figure everything out obviously but you at least try to get an idea. You dont just blindly go.
I guess in the marriage, I blame the parents for not doing a thorough enough rishta research and also for not teaching their daughters basic life skills.
This is when the phrase comes to mind "walk a mile in her shoes". :)
May be it's the class and lifestyle difference that we can't understand each other, I'm sure if I go to Pakistan, I'll find many people annoying there but i won't start hating them or break ties with them.
I am not sure where it is mentioned to hate or break ties. But in general regardless of whether the person is a newly wed import.....if you don't gel with a person you woudln't really continue to be good friends...etc.....
Sure only the person who is going through a certain thing knows what she feels....but still. Even a person who moves from 1 country to another country (or city) for new employment does some research on the new place/new lifestyle etc. What they can expect/changes. You can't figure everything out obviously but you at least try to get an idea. You dont just blindly go.
I guess in the marriage, I blame the parents for not doing a thorough enough rishta research and also for not teaching their daughters basic life skills.
I think every adult can do basic house chores but yes, some aren't used to of it but even they get better with time and it's for everyone including "foblets".
The girl, Psquard mentioned, her problem seemed more like missing her family and the fun and this is pretty normal.
But also, on the other hand, I don't see a single Western born girl living in Pakistan happily except a few so it's with everyone.
I have worked with Western girls and most of them hate their office jobs, seriously. I have yet to see a woman who's completely satisfied with her life, even men are the same. It's human nature. May Allah give us sabr and tawfiq to appreciate what we have but blaming only Pakistani raised girls of this crime of nashukri is unfair.
I am not sure where it is mentioned to hate or break ties. But in general regardless of whether the person is a newly wed import.....if you don't gel with a person you woudln't really continue to be good friends...etc.....
That was about a previous post.
I agree, specially when you think of them as things and not humans who can be imported.
:)
I love everyone, desi or non desi, muslim or non muslim....and it doesn't bother me if they don't like doing house chores because no one does, at one stage or other.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
yipppppeee the topic of freshly imported Bhahoo's.
I agree with everyone, it's funny when you go to pakistan to see the girl she dresses soo simple and "jee aunty jee, yes aunty jee" stuff, then when she comes to america the demands starts. My husbands cousin went to pakistan and his shurt was that he had to spend time with the girl, for two days, and he watched her in her own home, not lifting a finger demanding things etc, and his conclusion was he would never marry someone from pakistan, although he himself is pakistani but he was born in the us, and he said, she won't know anything over here, and by the second day he wanted to hurt her because of the way she was acting. For example he asked her please if he can get a glass of water, she called her maid to get him some water. he was beyond surprised.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^I think he made a very wise choice because they weren't compatible because of girl's lifestyle. My cousin from Pakistan, a very well educated girl, came here on visit and denied all the rishtay here because she couldn't imagine living here living a working class lifestyle that most immigrants have here.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
i know he came back and found a girl here within a couple of weeks MA both of them are happy and are expecting their first child!
yipppppeee the topic of freshly imported Bhahoo's.
I agree with everyone, it's funny when you go to pakistan to see the girl she dresses soo simple and "jee aunty jee, yes aunty jee" stuff, then when she comes to america the demands starts. My husbands cousin went to pakistan and his shurt was that he had to spend time with the girl, for two days, and he watched her in her own home, not lifting a finger demanding things etc, and his conclusion was he would never marry someone from pakistan, although he himself is pakistani but he was born in the us, and he said, she won't know anything over here, and by the second day he wanted to hurt her because of the way she was acting. For example he asked her please if he can get a glass of water, she called her maid to get him some water. he was beyond surprised.
how is that any better?
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
^ because he is the king, and shall not lift a finger either.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
still don’t see any complaining from the men, who are on the receiving end of this princess syndrome and i think quite a few here are married to girls from back home…as usual women going at each others throats. mission accomplished i guess.
you know its a very strange phenomenon i have found here, this animosity that girls here for girls back home, i have yet to see the opposite, both on GS and in real life. Is this how girls are being raised these days here with all this bitterness? 
^ because he is the king, and shall not lift a finger either.
I think there could be number of reasons, but the main reason could be that he thought that he won't be able to provide the similar lifestyle of maids and servants to her so may be that's why he said no.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
i dont understand the point of this discussion..are we debating lifestyle differences? ..or just trying to make your self feel better by praising your abilities to load dishwashers and cleaning your OWN homes...?? seriously! talk about hyping your self worth..
every woman becomes/is domestic at different levels..based on her own abilities and interest...its not a competition.
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
Chanda, like many other threads on this forum, this too is a silly ol’ thread stating an observation with anticipation of a discussion. It’s come up to 7 pages 
. Seriously I thought it would die down in a couple but we desi folk love to chat lol!
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
The quicker we come out of this servant culure and mindset, the better. There is some pride in doing your own work, and some value in that. The value of independence as oppose to exploiting other human beings because you have the money. Don't tell me servants in Pakistan aren't treated sub-human.
For me, that's why I wouldn't marry anyone from Pakistan period - man or woman. Because they treat each other like crap and that is normal to them. I don't like those set of values.
As long as she is hot, it’s fine :k:
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
omg PCG !! dont get me started on how people back home treat their 'servants'!!!
Yes ideally speaking...I wish folks in pakistan would get rid of their servants and actually do something themselves! The injustices within the "qaum" are ugly! Its hard to respect men and women who have never made their own bed and cleaned their own toilets, and have no respect and gratitude for those who do it for them everyday!
Have you seen the way the "employers" are towards them, like they are some sort of untouchables...who have no rights..and are obligated to remain in the same social strata..for as long as they live...along with their children..who obviously follow.
Everyone acts like a royal member of the Shah family..thats the issue..the egos of the elite and the pseudo elite population of the country outsizes human nature...to the point ..where there is no room for empathy or basic human decency..
Isnt the rest of the world doing just fine without "naukar-chaker"? there are countries who dont have servants, but are progressing better, are more accomplished overall...i still dont understand what do the women over there do all day ..and what about the men?
injustices are widely accepted as the norm in our country...starting with women's rights..rights for the poor, rights for non-muslims etc..
Quite obviously..the naukar-malik relationship in Pak is not equal to the normal employer-employee relationship here in the US. Here...janitors have benefits, they have unions, they go to the same school as the people they work for..so what i am pointing out about pakistan and its people, is a completely different issue.
its the matter of being self-sufficient. The country totally depends on the ideology that "someone else will do it for me" whether its driving them around, cooking their food, gardening, cleaning..ALL the things 3/4 of the world does with their own hands!! Americans cook, clean, tend to their gardens, clean their cars, carry their own infants, ... clean toilets, themselves AND are proud of it!!!
BUT the general attitude of pakistanis in pakistan is horrible towards the poor. the way they talk to the servants, they way they are treated is..just...i feel embarrassed...and the govt will not do anything to make things better for them either, because..yeah you guessed it...the people everywhere are the same. they dress the same, they talk the same, they hold the same views...they all treat the poor like a disease.....a governor's daughter wouldnt want to sit next to a kaam wali's daughter in a classroom..why?????? GOD i feel like slapping the crap out of them for holding these views! Here in america, everyone in the neighborhood goes to the same school, if you cant afford breakfast, you come to school and its free. Books are free..there is no uniform..you have buses for transportation...
When we let go of the pointless and shameful British aristocracy..which has crippled us as people, that will truly be a proud moment for every pakistani. ...
Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!
Yes, all the ABCD girls are just SO perfect, we'll just admit that right now.
Excellent mothers, home-makers, wives etc etc. Really, there's no need to fight it.
omg PCG !! dont get me started on how people back home treat their 'servants'!!!
Yes ideally speaking...I wish folks in pakistan would get rid of their servants and actually do something themselves! The injustices within the "qaum" are ugly! Its hard to respect men and women who have never made their own bed and cleaned their own toilets, and have no respect and gratitude for those who do it for them everyday! Have you seen the way the "employers" are towards them, like they are some sort of untouchables...who have no rights..and are obligated to remain in the same social strata..for as long as they live...along with their children..who obviously follow. Everyone acts like a royal member of the Shah family..thats the issue..the egos of the elite and the pseudo elite population of the country outsizes human nature...to the point ..where there is no room for empathy or basic human decency.. Isnt the rest of the world doing just fine without "naukar-chaker"? there are countries who dont have servants, but are progressing better, are more accomplished overall...i still dont understand what do the women over there do all day ..and what about the men? injustices are widely accepted as the norm in our country...starting with women's rights..rights for the poor, rights for non-muslims etc.. Quite obviously..the naukar-malik relationship in Pak is not equal to the normal employer-employee relationship here in the US. Here...janitors have benefits, they have unions, they go to the same school as the people they work for..so what i am pointing out about pakistan and its people, is a completely different issue. its the matter of being self-sufficient. The country totally depends on the ideology that "someone else will do it for me" whether its driving them around, cooking their food, gardening, cleaning..ALL the things 3/4 of the world does with their own hands!! Americans cook, clean, tend to their gardens, clean their cars, carry their own infants, ... clean toilets, themselves AND are proud of it!!!
BUT the general attitude of pakistanis in pakistan is horrible towards the poor. the way they talk to the servants, they way they are treated is..just...i feel embarrassed...and the govt will not do anything to make things better for them either, because..yeah you guessed it...the people everywhere are the same. they dress the same, they talk the same, they hold the same views...they all treat the poor like a disease.....a governor's daughter wouldnt want to sit next to a kaam wali's daughter in a classroom..why?????? GOD i feel like slapping the crap out of them for holding these views! Here in america, everyone in the neighborhood goes to the same school, if you cant afford breakfast, you come to school and its free. Books are free..there is no uniform..you have buses for transportation... When we let go of the pointless and shameful British aristocracy..which has crippled us as people, that will truly be a proud moment for every pakistani. ...
This is not even related to this thread but I don't see many people with Pakistani origin in the West contributing to the Western society either. We have bad reputation here in the West too imported or non imported together.
Btw, I remember you opening a thread on women spending too much on their weddings. lol
Some people have too much time for whining. No offence though, I'm just trying to be equally annoying.