Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

^ hmmmm ur making me cringe...

just cus ur rich dont mean u shouldnt be able to do basic household chores. How does being rich make u rid of such things?

Yeah it is the girls fault. Why didnt she just use common sense and statr doing something before accepting the rishta? did she think she was going "abraad" to live in a diamond castle and be served by gazillion maids like back in Pakistan? If she accepted the ristha... or did her parents, then they have the responsibility of teaching their princess how to live in a place where she will be needing to do things herself.

[sadzzz]

@tammy8604

Girls who are from rich families here do have very high standards and don't like the idea of slaving in the kitchen or cleaning when their maids do that for them here. Problem is that when these US guys look for rishtas in Pakistan, they look for those hot modern well dressed,well spoken, well educated defence girls, not the average hardworking middle class girl from nazaimabad or some small town.

it's about time these rich girls lowered their standards... and lived in the real world.

If they dont want to do hardwork and be reponsible for their own actions, than marry their own kind, a shehzada in Pakistan and live there.

[tammy8604]

@sadzzz

^ hmmmm ur making me cringe...

just cus ur rich dont mean u shouldnt be able to do basic household chores. How does being rich make u rid of such things?

Did I say that? I never said what someone should or shouldn't do. I just gave the reason why some girls seem to have so much nakhra.
Many girls are spoiled and they have never even gotten a glass of water for themselves. They don't know how to cook, how to clean, how to do laundry, how to iron clothes. They were never taught these things, their maids did all of this for them.

[quote]
Yeah it is the girls fault. Why didnt she just use common sense and statr doing something before accepting the rishta? did she think she was going "abraad" to live in a diamond castle and be served by gazillion maids like back in Pakistan? If she accepted the ristha... or did her parents, then they have the responsibility of teaching their princess how to live in a place where she will be needing to do things herself.
[/QUOTE]

Whoever is expecting the princess to work like a slave should have thought about it. Everyone loves moving to US, they don't realize how tough life can be over there. If the husband or inlaws expect their DIL to take care of all the chores, they should look for a DIL who has those qualities. I have seen aunties coming from US looking for beautiful educated rich highclass girls here , obviously those chicks will have nakhras. If they want such a homemaker, why not look at middleclass girls who don't mind doing all the housework?

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

^ thats exactly my questin though.... just cus someone is rich, they are excused from knowing how to look after themselves or a house? If the parents think she is mature enough to be married.. they must know she is mature enough to take care of responsibilities and a house. Why should the people from overseas be blamed? Shouldnt any normal insaan be required to look after themselves?

why do we get educated? why do we gain independance? so we can stand on our two feet.. and ur telling me, that a princess in pakistan is excused from knowing how to look after a house.. or shouldnt even know how to take responsibility because she never had to? how about she start to learn something knowing full well she is going overseas... how about she teach herself how to do such tasks?

not everyone expects u to know everything before getting married... btu surely they would like to think that u r capable of doing something without showing attitude.

And u say, u want independance.. u dont want to live with inlaws.... girl, independance is when u can do everything urself and not have to rely on anyone. Independance aint living away from inlaws.

[cherryontop]

^Tammy, your argument can go both ways...why do these girls get married to these guys? Are they not aware that life in the West is tough? or are they under a mistaken assumption that Bill Gates has invented a robot that picks up after them?

Expecting that you will take care of SOME aspects of the household like maybe cooking or cleaning and should be capable of managing a household is not too far-fetched. Seriously, most of these "high-class" girls just sit on their rear end all day anyways...won't do them any harm to learn how to run a household!

And it's not a question of who minds and does not mind doing housework. Everyone should know how to do housework! period. it's a necessity of life!

[cherryontop]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

You know it's not even that they don't 'know' how to do these things...it's not rocket science! How can you not know how to clean??? Get a swiffer and get working! Some people are just L-A-Z-Y.....and this laziness gene is prevalent across Pakistan. So it's not as if they don't know how to do such tasks...they are just lazy!

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

^ thank u very much

u made more sense than i did. I was just taken aback.

[tammy8604]

@sadzzz

^ thats exactly my questin though.... just cus someone is rich, they are excused from knowing how to look after themselves or a house? If the parents think she is mature enough to be married.. they must know she is mature enough to take care of responsibilities and a house. Why should the people from overseas be blamed? Shouldnt any normal insaan be required to look after themselves?

People from overseas who look for DIL from Pakistan should make sure the girl is the kind who would ajust to their lifestyle. Someone who spent her whole life in pakistan doesn't realize how life is in US. So why do these aunties look for rich girls and not the middleclass hardworking ones? Perhaps because the rich ones look better, and are well maintained?

[quote]
why do we get educated? why do we gain independance? so we can stand on our two feet.. and ur telling me, that a princess in pakistan is excused from knowing how to look after a house.. or shouldnt even know how to take responsibility because she never had to? how about she start to learn something knowing full well she is going overseas... how about she teach herself how to do such tasks?
[/quote]

When did I say thats what someone should do? I just gave you the reason why they are like that. And who are you to really say what someone should do? If someone wants a DIL whos going to do all the chores, then find someome with those qualities, dont expect a girl to completely change for you.

[quote]
And u say, u want independance.. u dont want to live with inlaws.... girl, independance is when u can do everything urself and not have to rely on anyone. Independance aint living away from inlaws.
[/QUOTE]

Again you're putting words in my mouth. When did I say I have to rely on anyone? I can do everythign myself, thats what I mentioned before. I don't mind cooking or cleaning , I just mentioned I want independence from inlaws and can't survive in a joint family.

[tammy8604]

@cherryontop

You know it's not even that they don't 'know' how to do these things...it's not rocket science! How can you not know how to clean??? Get a swiffer and get working! Some people are just L-A-Z-Y.....and this laziness gene is prevalent across Pakistan. So it's not as if they don't know how to do such tasks...they are just lazy!

I wonder why the aunties go look for these L-A-Z-Y DILs?

[ehl-e-chamman]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

ditto to cherry and sadzzz ...
I will also add that beyond the mutual understanding of what you are getting into when you agree to a rishta ... is the concept of adaptability.
Should these well off, well educated, well spoken girls not adapt themselves to the new lifestyles that they have landed themselves into ... is it fair of them to childishly demand or whine for a lifestyle that is beyond the means of their husbands?

[sadzzz]

@tammy8604

People from overseas who look for DIL from Pakistan should make sure the girl is the kind who would ajust to their lifestyle. Someone who spent her whole life in pakistan doesn't realize how life is in US. So why do these aunties look for rich girls and not the middleclass hardworking ones? Perhaps because the rich ones look better, and are well maintained?

just cus someone aint born into a rich household, doesnt mean they arent able to keep themselves maintained. A guy or his mother for that fact, arent looking for somenoe who looks like they have been sitting in a salon the entire day. Someone decent, is quite acceptable. You seem to believe, that just cus someone is hard working and does house chores, they cannot maintain themselves and are less "prettier" than the rich girls? I didnt know money defined beauty.

Everyone leads a different type of life outside of Pakistan. We dont expect people to know how we live life here. All we ask is for adaptability and some sort of acceptance, maturity... a sense of resposiblity.. and a lil less snootiness

[quote]

When did I say thats what someone should do? I just gave you the reason why they are like that. And who are you to really say what someone should do? If someone wants a DIL whos going to do all the chores, then find someome with those qualities, dont expect a girl to completely change for you.

[/quote]

i dunno if someone expects their DIL to do all the chores. Just most people would accept a DIL to be capable of handling her own house. I dont know many MILs who want their DILs to do everything.. but surely, she can do a little to rid herself of the princessy attitude.

Again, noone is asking u to CHANGE... they're wanting you to adapt.. is that so hard? Noone has an issue wanting to dress like westerners.. but when it comes to doing some ironing... oh heaven forbid

[quote]

Again you're putting words in my mouth. When did I say I have to rely on anyone? I can do everythign myself, thats what I mentioned before. I don't mind cooking or cleaning , I just mentioned I want independence from inlaws and can't survive in a joint family.
[/QUOTE]

So im glad ur capable of cleaning the toilet bowl. Bravo...

[tammy8604]

Sadzz, why do these aunties look for spoiled DIL?

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

^ im not too sure. But why do these same aunties have problems with their princessy DILs?

its kinda like the chicken and egg question. Who came first

[cherryontop]

@tammy8604

I wonder why the aunties go look for these L-A-Z-Y DILs?

Nobody looks for these lazy girls! Most aunties who go back to the mother land to find a girl for their son do so not because they want someone prettier or 'well-maintained'. There are plenty of 'well-maintained' girls here! The aunties go to Pakistan because they are think they have a better chance of finding a more submissive, seedhi-saadhi girl there. And do you think you can tell how lazy or active a girl is during the rishta process? Everyone is at their best behavior. But even if the girl was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth, it's very normal for her husband to expect that she SHOULD be capable of running a household and do simple tasks like cleaning or cooking if the need arises. Every adult should be capable of running a household!

Why are you portraying these girls to be these poor, lost souls who get misled into coming to the US because they are not made aware of how tough life is here?!?! You are belittling the thousands of other poor victims who are brought here by their husbands and actually abused to the fullest!!

You're actually claiming that the rich, 'better looking' and 'well-maintained' girls should not do housework because they're not used to it and the guy and his family should have known better.....RIDICULOUS! Seriously such divas should just stay back in the motherland and live in their little bubble of tea parties.

[tammy8604]

@sadzzz

^ im not too sure. But why do these same aunties have problems with their princessy DILs?

its kinda like the chicken and egg question. Who came first

Someone who has never lived in US doesn't realize how the lifestyle can be tough over there. The aunties who look for bahus from pakistan should make sure they pick a girl who can be a good homemaker. If yo u don't like how these girls are raised like princesses, then don't marry them.

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

honestly though tammy, noone goes out looking for a spoilt brat. Just like noone goes out looknig for a hrorible hubby or inlaws...
.

[Mehnaz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

I always thought the Defence girls were super educated and held amazing jobs? that's why they were marriage material, not cause they are well maintained ... hmmmm ....

[sadzzz]

@tammy8604

Someone who has never lived in US doesn't realize how the lifestyle can be tough over there. The aunties who look for bahus from pakistan should make sure they pick a girl who can be a good homemaker. If yo u don't like how these girls are raised like princesses, then don't marry them.

doing chores can be hardly classified as a tough life princess.

You really dont know what tough life means... chores is NOTHING.

Everyone wants a homemaker.. someone who cares and puts love into their house. Money does not take that away... shouldnt anyways

[tammy8604]

@cherryontop

Why are you portraying these girls to be these poor, lost souls who get misled into coming to the US because they are not made aware of how tough life is here?!?! You are belittling the thousands of other poor victims who are brought here by their husbands and actually abused to the fullest!!

You're actually claiming that the rich, 'better looking' and 'well-maintained' girls should not do housework because they're not used to it and the guy and his family should have known better.....RIDICULOUS! Seriously such divas should just stay back in the motherland and live in their little bubble of tea parties.

I don't judge people on their lifestyle. I know what I want in marriage, and I look for someone who has those qualities so I can live the kind of life I want. Same goes the guy whos looking to get married to a girl from Pak. Why do people not discuss these issues prior to marriage? The aunties should look for appropriate girls for their sons.

[sadzzz]

Re: Gori dey nakhrey, shaawa!

^ household responsibilities need to be discussed? I guess they should yeah?

tammy, most mothers raise their daughters like a princess, at least they try to. Even if they dont have the same kinda dosh as their rich neighbours. But a lot of these mothers also teach their daughters of what kinda responsiblity awaits them.

I have a 3 yr old who prob does more housework than rich princesses in pakistan. shukar hai, i should say