Talk about jumping to conclusions … Please read what is written not what you want to think I’ve written …
As with any life situation there are exceptions to the rule … I was not talking about a hard and fast thing … Besides … I am talking about being a mother … not talking about being good with children … Although even in that case there are exceptions to the rule.
Then you ask why I say “independent confident women can’t be good wives and mothers” …
Sheesh … You know “angry women” think they are being confident … But a real confident person doesn’t need to act so alpha … You can be nice and try to understand what others say for once …
The same can be said for a guy - becoming stuck in one's ways and finding it difficult to share the same space with another person after having lived alone.
Not sure where you get your views from though. As far as I see it, it's a personality thing. I can think of a few people who appear to be hard to live with, who haven't lived alone.
Yes it can be said for guys, but for us it is not generally the case. My observation ...views from personal experience and observation in this case ...and regarding your last point ...so can I ... It doesn't change the point I was trying to make ...
Yes it can be said for guys, but for us it is not generally the case. My observation ...views from personal experience and observation in this case ...and regarding your last point ...so can I ... It doesn't change the point I was trying to make ...
I don't think you have point - that's my point :)
I know guys (bachelor's in their 30's) who know they are set in their ways and that it will impact a marriage, which they blame on having lived alone for so long. Fact is, they are inflexible, difficult to get along people with full stop.
Really, all of the points in your original post go for men as much as women.
I know guys (bachelor's in their 30's) who know they are set in their ways and that it will impact a marriage, which they blame on having lived alone for so long. Fact is, they are inflexible, difficult to get along people with full stop.
Really, all of the points in your original post go for men as much as women.
I didn't say it didn't apply to men ... I was talking about "girls living alone" ... Yes it applies to men too ... For either men or women ... Girls tend to reach this inflexible age quicker ... Ok another generalisation, but again experience shows this ... Girls in our communities are finding it hard to get married not the men ... Ok this is a generalisation too ... I was stressing a concern ... I favour of women getting married ... I think society handles single men better ... But if a woman wants to go it alone then that is fine ...
On one hand you are saying I don't have a point, but then in your last line you are giving tacit agreement ... You say all my points "go for" men as much as women ... To me "go for" means that you are approving what I said ... It therefore cannot be the case that I have no point ... Unless you THINK my point is to draw a distinction between men and women ... But that is merely you applying that on to me ... I have never drawn such a distinction ... Rather one can argue that I care less for men to be single than women ... and that is true ... What can I say women deserve to be tendered and catered for ... cared for and pampered.
My mistake, I meant to say "Really, all of the points in your original post could go for men as much as women."
I really don't think living alone raises any of those issues, it's down to one's character which can develop that way whether one lives with people or not.
Most people, as they mature become more inflexible as their ideas and opinions consolidate. If one starts living alone once they reach maturity, it's easy to point at that as the cause.
Anyway, it seems, whatever it takes to justify men of more advanced years marrying girls much their junior, right?
Lol that reminded me of Family Guy. It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy
What is there to justify? It’s been happening for years and it will continue to happen. Consenting adults and all that. And I’m speaking only for adults. What do you have against Hef?
My one post led you to so many assumptions. Again very interesting. Yay, now I know I can’t be a good wife and mother oh I also happen to be an angry woman. Wait, in your reply you will say I’m putting words in your mouth and jumping to conclusions.
Personally I think it is ok for a woman if she needs to live alone, but her intention should be to avoid that situation and sort it out as quickly as possible. It is not a good position for her to be in for several reason, and they are not because of what society thinks of her.
A woman needs companionship ... but if she becomes used to her privacy then she becomes hard to live with if she does eventually choose to get married. Being a mother may make her very pressured to be someone in charge of others outside herself ... Her social life will change drastically if she decides to change her status. This is why a woman tends to move back to her parents or brother's house if her husband leaves or dies ...
Independence is over-rated .... especially for women ... most of the time independence means the price tag of boredom and anxiety. But independence is sold in the West because it makes more people slaves to the system ... independence means more houses being bought or rented, more loans being taken out and more consumerism ...
It depends on the family and what they allow. If we're speaking from a religious perspective then islamically (and this is just from a muslims point of view) females are not allowed to live alone.
Have to have a mahram around.
I've never lived on my own and I'm okay with it. Couldn't do it anyways, I need people around me :) Like big families and constant noise.
I do have friends who live on their own though, who are muslim, because they're studying. They're good girls and it's just about studying, getting their degrees then going home again.
There is no such thing as slavery to consumerism. If owning more stuff makes you happier, then you buy it. If not, then you don't. Being a slave to a man, you don't have this option to just walk away.
psyah I don't agree with you on so many levels. but i'm not saying this out fo anger. dunno why disagreement = anger here.
lol exactly. I wasn't even slightly angry when I typed what psyah quoted. It's a fact, the more dependent a person is, the harder time they have when they have to cope with real, practical life where you either do your stuff yourself or you don't get it done.
I haven't lived at home for the last few years. In the beginning it was because of school. I could have moved back this year, but I didn't. It's not because I don't love my family, I guess it's because I think there are more opportunities for me where I live right now.
Have my values changed? Nope, not at all. I still cover up. I haven't become less religious. I'm not living with a guy. I stay in touch with my parents, in fact, I let them know of my whereabouts. I will tell them if I'm out with my friends or shopping, etc. The pros are that I've learned to take care of myself, become less dependent on mommy and daddy to pick up after me. I learned how to cook, clean, and manage bills. Living away from home gives you more of a reality check. And if you live with a roommate, even better to test if you're a grown up and ready for marriage. Family has to deal with you and will always be there. But a roommate really is the closest thing you have to a spouse since you have to learn to adjust to someone else and deal with conflicts. If anything, living on my own made me realize when I became mature enough to want to live with a husband instead of a roommate.
And just for the record soni, goris actually make really good roommates and they aren't bad. Believe it or not, they bring less drama. I don't live in a dorm and my roommate isn't in my classes that she's going to watch over me or report to my parents.
It depends on the family and what they allow*. If we're speaking from a religious perspective then islamically (and this is just from a muslims point of view) females are not allowed to live alone.*
Have to have a mahram around.
I've never lived on my own and I'm okay with it. Couldn't do it anyways, I need people around me :) Like big families and constant noise.
I do have friends who live on their own though, who are muslim, because they're studying. They're good girls and it's just about studying, getting their degrees then going home again.
And if you live with a roommate, even better to test if you're a grown up and ready for marriage. Family has to deal with you and will always be there. But a roommate really is the closest thing you have to a spouse since you have to learn to adjust to someone else and deal with conflicts. If anything, living on my own made me realize when I became mature enough to want to live with a husband instead of a roommate.
And just for the record soni, goris actually make really good roommates and they aren't bad. Believe it or not, they bring less drama. I don't live in a dorm and my roommate isn't in my classes that she's going to watch over me or report to my parents.
Talk about jumping to conclusions … Please read what is written not what you want to think I’ve written …
(khushi ke)