Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
…sarcasm?:halo:
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
i wonder why you would think that? 
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
^
u two, make love no war :k: :halo:
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Oh gosh i wouldnt even think of starting a war here, dont want to be labeled a feminazi and all. Toba toba!
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
i asked a question
seriously i wanna know the purpose of marriage from a womans point of view...i mean if ur not dating and its ultimately an arranged marriage.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
^ Open a new thread plz :p
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
...
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
i got married to somebody who would insist that im first married to the family and then to him....u know all that my parents should be happy and my sisters and all etcs,....we could have a great future together but this "please my family first" thing ended in a nasty divorce.
can anybody please tell me that in pak, who marries whom and why? if a guy is so concerned to please his parents ,why doesn`t he do it himself first,why have such high expectations from wife,who has just entered the family.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Shukar hai not everyone in our culture does this. Otherwise i can so see desi parents living in "edhi foundation" or other elderly homes. Why? because their kids could not take care of them....
*sigh
Imagine if you only have one brother and he follows the same path meaning goes away from his parents for good. Your parents are living all by themselves - Taking care of each other- how would you feel?
forget that...
You become a parent and you have married your kids off and they are all living by themselves happy in their married life. But no one is there to take care of you how would you feel?
Raatkirani - women does marry the entire khandan now we can either accept that or let it go and face suffering....
*sigh
Why must you think to extremes? All I'm saying is that the new couple deserves at least 6 months of total privacy. That's all. Nothing about abandoning parents. It won't kill mom and dad, if beta decides to live on their own for a year to get established in a marriage. Most parents didn't stop their kids from going away for college, why is marriage so different, especially if the son and DIL intend on caring for the elderly parents when the need arises? If you have an active 50 year old mom and dad, they don't need to have a son to care for them yet
My mother has encouraged my brother to live apart with his wife when he gets married. We have no problem with that. I suppose our family ties are strong enough that we know if the need arises, my brothers will care for our parents.
I have a young son (4), and I look forward to the day that he gets married. I would never pressure him to stay with me. My newlywed days were so wonderful, and I would wish the same on him and his wife. When I get too old to take care of myself, then I'm sure he'd have me move in with him.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
This whole thing about having kids so that they can take care of you when old is just pathetic I think. Have children, raise them to be independent, good people and LET them LIVE their lives. If you havent prepared yourself for retirement then shame on you for PLANNING to freeload on your offspring, you DESERVE to live in some old-age home.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I agree with what you said above to a certain extent....however what's done is done with our parents generation. Keep in mind most of them dont even know what investments and retirement plans are and even if they did.... they didnt have much money to invest in the first place because they were so busy spending money on their children's education. Most American non-desi's kick their kids out at age 18 and tell them to get loans and pay for their own education while our (desi) parents bust their butts trying to make ends meet ONLY for their children.. Especially if they moved to the USA from Pak.
Hopefully our generation will be different. I for one dont want to "freeload" off of my kids. I hope to retire with my husband and move into a nice area in a small home where we can enjoy the rest of our old age together Insha'Allah. Besides nowadays you dont need to live in a retirement home. They have opened up so many "assisted living apts". There really wont be a need for our kids to take care of us anymore.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Parents have every right to freeload off of their offspring.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
yea they do..if they choose 2. Because back in our parents generation they have no choice. Most of them dont have any money saved up and they just dont know how to live on their own. However I think our generations wont be doing that...at least I wont. My mom for one refuses to live with any of us (and she is alone)....she is the exception to the rule i suppose.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Disgusted by the responses here. Although I'm not shocked. I'd expect that sort of things by some of the girls here.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
what's so disgusting about some parents not wanting to live with their kids?
actually i read some of the posts above to and yea i find some of them to be a bit toooooo "westernized"
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Preach my brother.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I haven't read all the posts but the ones at the beginning were sickening.
Moving out as a condition for marriage (or something to that affect) is plain wrong. If a girl ever said that to me, I would show her the finger and walk out. When you girls get married you're leaving your own family and becoming a part of his; DON'T ask him to leave his parents.
This is exactly why I want to go back to PAK zameen to find a girl; even if she's not the smartest girl atleast she'll know the meaning of parents and family.
Allah ka bi daar rakha karo; woh sab kuch dekh rahen hai.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
What kind of arrogant ignorance is that Anil Khan???
If you havent read islamic sources, you would be surprised to know that it is a woman’s right to have seperate housing after marriage. noone says that things are black or white. a man needs to keep a balance between his wife and parents and to live up to both duties, he should be a balanced person.
no wonder guys like u r only made to marry the poor girls from Paksitan. you dont seem to know how to keep the balance between parents and wife..so just go ahead and find a girl from some remote village from Pakistan!!!
Its certainly not impossible to be there for your parents and still have seperate accomodation. i.e in the same block, same house with seperate sections or some other alternative.
But u certainly sound like a mamma’s boy and will need time to grow up and get balanced!
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
This is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. So very typical and desi thinking you have, son.
Why not?
Would you like to settle for a divorce if she's not happy living with your family, even if you loved her? Beta apni shadi honay do phir sab pata chal jaey ga.
Why is it alway considered woman's job to leave her parents who raised her for her whole life, educated her and brought her up, and give in for some loser who doesnt recognize the qurbani the girl made for him? Infact she is believed to work like a slave for his family, if you dont give any respect to the woman you marry, she's not going to stay with you for long.
I agree no one can take the place of your parents, but no one is asking you to exchange their places or anything like that. Give respect to both your parents and your wife. Allah miyan agar sab kuch dekh raha hai tau woh yeh bhi dekhay ga ke tum ne apni bivi ko kis haal main rakha hai, woh khush bhi hai ke nahin.
Not necessarily. :)
Open up your mind a bit and try to understand things from other perspective as well.