Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
i guess guys over here want more traditional women than ABCD girls who want to emulate the American lifestyle...speaking of myself I want a family-oriented girl...who can take care of my parents and all when I @ work....who else is going to do it? Unless I put them in sum sort of retirement home theres no way out of it which is outta the question...unless of course I have to pay 2 mortgages just because my wife wants to be the one in charge.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
If a guy isn't able to live away from his parents, if he's not financially stable by the time he marries and has kids and is sitll living off his parents, thas pretty pathetic..It doesnt mean he should HAVE to move out (i'd love that, but I'm willing to be flexible, esp if his mom is an awesome lady ;)) but that he will be alright (financially and emotionally) if he can..
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
sometimes, being the only son, u just have to (as part of ur duty) live with ur parents.. and there is absolutely no harm in that..
i think sehar said, that maybe u can spend the first 2-3 years of ur married life alone with ur spouse and then move in with ur inlaws.. i reckon thats an awesome idea..
ofcourse its a scary thing living with the inlaws but it shouldnt have to be. I know i had a similar conversation with hubster a few weeks ago and we were discussing the possibility of his parents coming here and us living in the same place, and i got all sulky cus i wanted to make a house with my hubster... but i thought about it... and i was just being a bachi.. who says you cant do what you want when ur living with ur inlaws? ok, i know some have pretty icy relationships.... but my inlaws are awesome... my BIL lives with us and gives us absolutely no trouble... so im sure it'll be ok Inshallah when they do decide do move here..
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
wanting ur own place doesnt make u have charge :halo: pfft
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
my parents won't mind nor do i. two of my bros are married and we all live togather. yeah my parents don't live with us as my dad lives in ME bcoz of his job and mum stays with him. for now we live in a house that is my parents property. Alhamdulilah both my bros are financially stable to own their own houses but we all decided to stay togather. maybe when my parents decided to come back and live here then they'd move out but we'd always be close to take care of them. i'd like my wife to spent some time with my parents b4 moving out. its important for her to know my folks. moving out is not an option but a need if required. ofcourse i'd respect and takecare of her parents just like my own.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
So you want to have a nurse?
You can't delegate to ur wife what YOU are supposed to do, that is taking care of your parents.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
how bout this i stay @ home all day and take care of my parents...and my wife works and takes care of the financial area...iz that better? or u going to be like why shud the wife work?
how can i work and take care of my parents at the same time?
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
^ whats wrong with both of u working? at least u wont have all the pressure of providing the income..
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I don't mean that, but what i want to say is that its You who has to take the primary responsibility and lead the way. I have seen many desi men, who just expect the wife to take care of parents and themselves forget about it. This results in both wife & parents unhappy.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
So people want to get married so their wives can take care of their elderly parents? I would think it would be my brother and my responsibility and not his wife's to take care of MY parents. I mean if she wants to do it, well and good, but is it fair to ask her to act like a maid to my parents? I dont think so.
On another note, if i want to help his family out, i would do it but i truly would not like it if the sole reason of him marrying me was to take care of HIS family when he is working.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Pls. don't get offended, but isn't your mom an awsome lady? MIL is someone's mom too... someone adores her to death too ..... Remember that thread about Chinese girl and her mother-in-law that someone posted here?? We do need to change our own attitudes ... treat others as you would like to be treated, trust me, things are gonna work out. If they don't atleast you get greater ajar for your patience and care! Wud you rather be upset for the problems in this world or be more happy for the greater reward you receive for your little troubles here? May Allah give you a happy married life, ameen!
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
that whos going to be home just in case parents need sum1...whose going to cook? my elderly mom and dad? cleaning?
my advice just talk about this before getting engaged and settle it rite then and there warna thalak karni pari gi baad mai.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Sure you can! The love and care your parents expect from you cannot be substituted by your wife's love and care to them!
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Well who cooks for you and your family now?? Maybe they can continue to do so. I hope people dont have thier mothers do all this while she is not feeling well and just wait till they get married and bring her a maid :)
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
On another note, if i want to help his family out, i would do it but i truly would not like it if the sole reason of him marrying me was to take care of HIS family when he is working.
im pretty sure people get married to get sum action. dats about it. and pop out a few kids also...:D good thing about that is then the grandmas and pas can take care of the kids while u go party with ur spouses...:)
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I truly hope this is not the reason to get married for most ppl : to get some action and pop some babies. I mean this is scary, is that how guys think? And then ya'all wonder why gals on GS are so against men. I sure dont want to be a baby popping machine only. Allah has given me brains as well and would like to use them towards some good.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Thats bad too, one gotta take care of his/her kidz and not leave it to granpas and granmas.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
my moms...i got two sis, one is married, has a part-time job and is housewife, other sis works part-time and spends free time talking to her bf turned fiance thas it. (dont get me started)
I got a bro, but im pretty sure hes going to marry his ABCD gf who chooses not to live with her parents. little chance of them living with my parents.
so...thas my dilemma.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
wassup ira, i live in chicago too, u wanna meet? lol jk :D
what is the purpose of marriage? if u dont date and ur parents ultimately choose ur spouse with ur approval of course.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
sorry i wasnt aware of this, thanks for enlightening me! I had no idea wat i was missing.