Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Sara516

Buss then tey’re left to wither and die alone coz it was their bad-kismat to be cursed with daughters

NOOOO they are gonna live with their daughter and SIL.

and if the daughters are living with their in-laws …well then there is gonna be one BIGGGGG happy family

afterall…BOTH sons and daughters have to take care of their elderly parents right?

[Khumar]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@AnGeL EyEs

NOOOO they are gonna live with their daughter and SIL. :D

** and if the daughters are living with their in-laws ...well then there is gonna be one BIGGGGG happy family** :)

uhh...in what world?

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@AnGeL EyEs

it goes both ways!!

They have to take care of HER parents as well.

No offense to you but i really hate when people say that it is the FARZ for the son to take care of his parents....NO it's FARZ for both son AND daughter to take care of their parents. Why is it that people seem to forget this? I'll tell you..it's because our tradition has lead us to believe that ONLY the son takes care of the parents. So what happens when the parents dont have a son? do they go to a nursing home? NO the daughters have to take care of them....so someone plz tell me this....how will the daughters take care off them (in their old age) when they are living with their in-laws?

Well, I am not saying that we should ignore girls' parents. Even if they have sons, maybe they are not taking care of them properly, and if a girl can, sure she shud. In fact girls care more for parents than boys, whether they are living with them or apart. Because God has given them natural "reham", affection and care. I meant in a general way that girl goes to live with hubby (and his family) after marriage so she should not ignore that the old parents need to be taken care of. If they need caring and she goes, oh I wanna live alone on my own, have my own life, that's wrong. Our parents (no matter inlaws or our own parents) come first and we should do as much as we can in our respective roles.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Khumar

uhh...in what world?

lol i was being sarcastic:D

[Khumar]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

okies! :D

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Larki-NY

Well, I am not saying that we should ignore girls' parents. Even if they have sons, maybe they are not taking care of them properly, and if a girl can, sure she shud. In fact girls care more for parents than boys, whether they are living with them or apart. Because God has given them natural "reham", affection and care. **I meant in a general way that girl goes to live with hubby (and his family) after marriage so she should not ignore that the old parents need to be taken care of. If they need caring and she goes, oh I wanna live alone on my own, have my own life, that's wrong. **Our parents (no matter inlaws or our own parents) come first and we should do as much as we can in our respective roles.

i agree. However that can be done without living together. Especially if there are other unmarried siblings living with the parents. If there arent then thats a different story altogether. It also depends on the situation. If i really like the guy and he wants to live with his parents. Im willing to. Although I think it is best to live seperate if parents are able to take care of themselves (like a lot of desi parents here in the west do.) Personally I know that im going to take care of my husbands parents but it most go both ways.

[Afridi786]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

u girls just want a whipped hubby who does whatever u say...gotcha

[Sara516]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

I’d rather listen to husband than to in-laws.. :no:

[Iconoclast]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

As usual all females here are bashing the in laws.

Well many a DILs are bad too. Heard stories where women have forced their MILs out of the house into old homes.

I recomend some you visit the thread about in laws again.

[ashtray]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

OK, I will be the bad guy here. Kindly read this

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/showthread.php?t=217090

I find it quite ammusing that both threads have similar contributers

[ashtray]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@MehnazQ

I was dead against living with the in-laws for years ... but I am starting to consider it. I have seen too many nightmare stories ... but if the guy was worth it and his family was nice, then hopefully it won't be a problem.

I thank my dear friend TGD for knocking some sense into you. :p

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

i will NOT live with In-laws. they can visit as often as they want.
I've lived for a large part away from relatives and I have also lived for a while in a joint family. I believe living with relatives can bring out the worst in people and there's just too much khichree....gich pich.....taak jhaank.....etc etc. there should be a certain "formality" even between relatives to keep relationships "sweet". later on if i have sons i wont expect them to be living with me either. Its possible to meet your in-laws every day...or a few days a week...instead of living with them 24/7 and not totally isolate them (in case they are old)

[ashtray]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ how about taking it one step further. Dont even live with you husband, just let him visit as often as he wants.

Aaj kal ki laRkiyaN. :no:

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^^ THAT would be an ideal situation. provided u change it to "let him visit as often as YOU want" :)

per kiya keroon...lihaaz mein maari jatee hoon.

[Mahru]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

If the dils were treated like daughters i am sure every dil would treat the mils and fils like their own parents.
It is not just about blaming mil or dil. It works both ways.
I honestly wish my mil showed some love towards me and i would shower her with love that a daughter would give her mom. Unfortunately....she is a very stubborn woman and trust me i am not the only one who feels this way!

[ashtray]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@shweetdreamz

^^ THAT would be an ideal situation. provided u change it to “let him visit as often as YOU want”

Bibi, keep me out of this please. Mujhay kya, jitni marzi dafa tumhare ghar ka chakkar marae tumhara shohar

[danial]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Mahru

If the dils were treated like daughters i am sure every dil would treat the mils and fils like their own parents.
It is not just about blaming mil or dil. It works both ways.
I honestly wish my mil showed some love towards me and i would shower her with love that a daughter would give her mom. Unfortunately…she is a very stubborn woman and trust me i am not the only one who feels this way!

so many dil’s and mil’s and even one fil.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@ashtray

Bibi, keep me out of this please. Mujhay kya, jitni marzi dafa tumhare ghar ka chakkar marae tumhara shohar

u replied to my post ashtray. now u ask to be kept out of it?
itna matt hasoon kahi phatt na jao.

[Furqan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

depends on what the background of the girl is..does she come from a large family or not. how modern is she ? how jahil is she? etc. etc.

[Barfee]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ if shes jahil enough then youc an mold her, right? :o