Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

[strawberriesncreme]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

Anil, you have the right to the type of wife you want; however dont you think it's better to discuss these things beforehand? Islam does allow for two people to discuss these things (there's no "fiance" in Islam) prior to marriage, so that they feel they are compatible. You should be honest about what you expect (though I'd suggest sweeter words and a sweeter attitude) from her, and be patient in listening to what she requires/expects out of you. If both of you do not agree then its best to part ways before you get married and end up being very unhappy with each other. Nothing gained, nothing lost.

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ Raat kali ik khwaab main aae
Aur galey kaa haar hui
Subhu ko jab hum, neend sey jagey
aankh unhi sey chaar hui

[Raatkirani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Anil Khan

Some of you have said that once I get married things will be different.... my response is that the day my nikkah is done I'm going to tell my wife that if you want my happiness then love and respect my parents. By the same token she will get immense love and happiness in return, InshAllah.

And yes, I would considor divorce or separation if my wife insists of moving out.

I would definitely look after her Parents too, as I have been taught to respect all elders. I would treat them as my parents and give them the same respect.

At no time have I said wives need to be treated like slaves. They are very important and also deserve all the happiness in the world but if that happiness in contigent upon leaving my parents then the answer is NO.

Also, someone mentioned that in Islam women have the right to their own house; yes, absolutely they do, their husbands house is also their house, which also happens to be the parents' house, oh and further its also the family's house; of WHICH SHE'S A PART OF.

Jazak Allah

Actually, Anil, in Islam, wives have the right to a separate quarter. It can be part of the family house, but she has the right to her private room and bathroom and kitchen and lounge, where she can dress and do what she pleases. She needs to be protected from the eyes of her brother in law, for whom is not a mahram. Even our faith knows about the need for privacy for a husband and wife.

It's ludicrous to think that girls don't know that they aren't supposed to respect the parents of their husbands. 99.999% of girls know that and are more than happy to step up to the plate when their parents in law need help or care. The problem I see is in the early days of marriage, when a capable and competent and previously active mother in law insists that the son and DIL live with her just for the sake of living together as one big happy family or for the DIL to serve the whims of the parents. Every woman, desi or American, dreams of having a small place of their own where they can start off their lives with their new husbands. Is that such a crime to want a little time to yourselves in the early days of marriage? After all, do we take our moms with us on our honeymoons?

In combined family systems, especially in Pakistan, there is always tension between the MIL and DIL, even though this setup is culturally acceptable. The truth is every woman wants to be the raj of her household, and when you have two women who's roles have not been clearly defined, there will be tension. Best thing is to let the couple start off on their own and in a little while, they can move back.

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@dope

Good luck to you, bro. I can almost see you in a dark room by yourself, a hastily opened Jergen's tube, a mauled and battered crusty Hanes tube sock, a sticky hand and a look of guilt on your face. Married women will withhold sex and dangle it like a carrot until you cave into doing what they want.

The more I read your posts, the more I am convinced that you need to marry a VERY simple girl from pakistan. Of course, you could find them here, too, but the odds are heavily stacked against you.

Hand meet johnson.

Hum,
Have you looked at your comments...
Looks like you are quite experienced even before marriage....

Anil IN FACT needs a simple and dignified girl from Pakistan, not a morally deteriorated girl with such thoughts.....

By the way, your husband will teach you even more than this....

How is that :D

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

But Anil, yaar you are from India, aren't you?
What is behind this Indian Pakistani mixed name?????

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

But Anil, yaar you are from India, aren't you? What is behind this Indian Pakistani mixed name?????

Yaar, you're insulting me by saying/asking if I'm from India.

Pride of Karachi, Pakistan (parents from Peshawar).

My mom says the name has Aryan roots, so I'm gonna take her word for it, lol.

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ No no, I do not intend to insult brave and outspoken boys like you. Since I am from India, I was surprised to see someone with the name "Anil" from Pakistan (remember Anil Kapoor, our actor) and then having a last name "Khan" which obviously is a Pathan name......

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

By the way, girls die for Anil kapoor :biggthumb

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ Bohat khoob yar; yep I hear he's a pretty good actor (I don't watch much Bollywood movies; just the odd one).

Proud to be Pashtun too.

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@AnGeL EyEs

I think that Anil means well and seems to have good intentions however he is just terrible in typing what he means.

Kya karoon, Khanzadah jo tehrah. Sometimes emotions get the best of me.

[Raja_Hindustani]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

^ you see, sometimes, we have to be "man" to tell them they are women after all.

See how everyone is gradually coming back to normal speach......

Good work Anil Bhaiya.... emotions really bring the best out of you....

[dope]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

Hum, Have you looked at your comments... Looks like you are quite experienced even before marriage....

Anil IN FACT needs a simple and dignified girl from Pakistan, not a morally deteriorated girl with such thoughts.....

By the way, your husband will teach you even more than this....

How is that :D

Make a hard right, down the labyrinthine spiral stairways, through the double doors, down the corridor to the passageway that says "newbie/rookie." Gizzy in IT will walk you through the database and give you a brief corporate tour. Sit yourself down, grab a cup of coffee, look through the database and look up "more posts by dope" and "threads by dope," educate yourself, then come back up here. You will feel a lot better. Remember, today is your first day, so don't work too hard, although there is a steep learning curve ahead.

Oh, btw, I am dope and welcome to GupSHUp, INC.

[WitchDr]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

^ you see, sometimes, we have to be "man" to tell them they are women after all.

See how everyone is gradually coming back to normal speach......

Good work Anil Bhaiya.... emotions really bring the best out of you....

48 posts on your first day!!! You are entitled to a free entry in spam competitions in Cafe!

[WitchDr]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

Another fact. May be very very bitter for the ladies but it is true. Woman is the most foolish creature on Earth, the most emotional and instable. she thinks she can control a man but I have seen, the most clever women being played by the most stupid of men...

I hope you never learn that you were wrong. Men are as foolish as women but on a different dimension. When a woman wants to make a fool out of a man, he is equally vulnerable.

[parissenoor]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@dope

Summary of the thread:
Women are women’s worst enemies. I am sure the primary reason why ABCDs dont want to live iwth in-laws is not because of the fear that their FILs or BILs will micro-manage their lives, but that their SILs and MILs will. (Exhibit: posts that criticize pind girls and SILs and MILs).

What a pathetic display of women losing their collective bargaining power because they dont know how to stick together. The reason why women will NEVER be equal to men is because they revolve their lives around men. The theme that emerges from this thread is eerily parallel to the economic concept of “scarcity of resources.”
Women (wife, sister and mother) all vying for one scarce resource: the man (husband, brother and son).
I rest my case.

don’t think you gay people are a majority…so man are not scarce ressource they are as available as women…in fact there are more men in subcontinent than women:D

@MehnazQ

I agree Dope. However, since in these situations, both women (wife and sister) are vying for the husband’s attention, it’s in his best interest (as well as the overall family’s best interest) to put his foot down and make it clear that this kind of crap won’t fly. As long as the guy stays quiet and avoids taking a stand, all hell will be breaking loose around him.

lol…my step mom has allways being jealous of my look and intelligence and also of thos of my sis…and she likes to fight with us and to humiliate us…what do my dad do??: hide like an ostrich:rotfl:…
the result is that my sister left home very early and spend most her free time with her MIL!!!:Dshe loves her MIL:D!

[parissenoor]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

Another fact. May be very very bitter for the ladies but it is true. Woman is the most foolish creature on Earth, the most emotional and instable. she thinks she can control a man but I have seen, the most clever women being played by the most stupid of men…

Men know very well how to manipulate women and with what kind of incentives.

all women are not like my step mom:grumpy: you make generalisation out of few cases!!!
it’s untrue…lots of women are reasonable and have very logical thinking …:o

women who wish to control men are stupid:Dcause every human being is free…only stupid people can be controlled to some extent…well that’s the point of FOX news and Hollywood and commercials

but some clever people study how to control human brains …so WE are not controllable;)

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

^ ........ See how everyone is gradually coming back to normal speach......

Good work Anil Bhaiya.... emotions really bring the best out of you....

Raja Hindustani, don't pump him. No, emotions don't bring the best out of him. Read his response to you where you asked him if he was an indian and he told you not to insult him by calling him Indian. He got emotional there. Knowing that you are an Indian (and you probably were happy to see an Indian/Hindu name on this forum) but he flat out insulted you. Coz he got upset that someone called him Indian and/or Hindu.

He could have said, I know my name is a common Indian name but no Sir, I'm a Paki pride, Karachi, Pushtoon etc etc.

In fact, in the start I appreciated that despite his beliefs clearly against the majority of women here, he was always respectful. Towards the end of this thread, he used *** words, and I thought, oh, so far I was appreciating that he doesn't get emotional or use bad words :(

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@WitchDr

I hope you never learn that you were wrong. Men are as foolish as women but on a different dimension. When a woman wants to make a fool out of a man, he is equally vulnerable.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@Raja Hindustani

By the way, girls die for Anil kapoor :biggthumb

u must be referring to those village girls u plan on marrying....no girl in their right mind dies for anil kapoor.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out

@WitchDr

I hope you never learn that you were wrong. Men are as foolish as women but on a different dimension. When a woman wants to make a fool out of a man, he is equally vulnerable.

:k: