Getting a place of your own

Re: Getting a place of your own

UNTIL you actually get married, there’s no way anyone can explain these things to you. And there’s a very small chance you’ll understand.

Marriage changes everything. A man is not just a son, he is now a husband. And since no one forces him to sign the dotted line, he has responsibilities he has to fulfill towards his wife. If he has issues with those responsibilities, he should not get married.

In regards to moving out and why are all Bahus apni saas ki jaan ki dushman and want to move out…growing up is a natural progression of life. Growing up means buying your own home, paying your own bills and running it yourself. Learning how to live as responsible adults…not kids that are moving in to mommy daddy’s house. You may counter by saying why can’t this happen with in-laws and all that. But in reality, it cannot happen with in-laws.

People need space, privacy, ability to live the way they want. I know I do and so did our parents.

I heard about my cousin recently…he’s in Dubai but got married in Pakistan. His mother insisted that she wants to keep her Bahu with her. What was my mumani’s stance: aray…itnay din ke baad bahu aye hai…kuch humari khidmat karegi to pata to chalega ke ghar mein bahu hai. They also have a special needs son. That poor girl (Bahu) lived with my over-demanding mumani, manu and took care of their special needs son for 2 years and cooked, cleaned, took care of their other 2 sons as well. Until my cousin lost it and demanded they send her to him in Dubai NOW. Even then she was refusing to send her…ke humne is liye shaadi nahin ki hai ke ye tumharay saat rahay. Humein kaun dekhega. Sharam nahin aati hai tum logon ko. I feel like I am listening to some paindu drama when I hear these stories.

You may think ke ye kaunsi bari baat hai.

Lekin jo log apne bachon ki tarbiyat achi nahin karpatay hein vo doosron ki achi betiyon ko lakay abuse karte hein. Jo kaam apne khud ke bachay mar kay bhi na karein vo kisi aur ki beti se karwayengay. Shaadi in our culture really is barbaadi at times. Insaan single hi acha hai aise muashray mein.

Once you’re married…apni saasu maa aur sasur ji ke saat rehne ke khwaab pooray karlena. Tab tak, please don’t just the rest of us mere mortals who are not even half as angelic or self-righteous.