Get to know him

[parissenoor]

Re: Get to know him

@Ira

I would really like to understand this so please answer if someone can. Why do we always try to isolate women and not men? How come our daughters can go to all girls school or stay at home but our sons get to go to public schools and stay out late and what not??

Is the concept of izzat related to our daughters only? The sons have too strong of an imaan and personality from a young age or what? I have seen this happen in my family as well and would like to find out an answer to this.

ignorant people do not fear hypocrisy...cause they ignore it:D

[parissenoor]

Re: Get to know him

@Anil Khan

			* This issue is very delicate. Even though I'm going to be demonized for this, I'm gonna say it anyway cause thats how I truly feel: When a couple has a daughter, they really have to be careful in how they approch her upbringing, especially at age 12 and onwards. I really feel that interaction with the oppisite sex (i.e. boys) should be kept to a minimum. See, girls who are outgoing, opinionated, and independent-seeking have their positive side; but these girls, in my opinion, are going to run into problems when they get married. T**he mother-in-law, the family, the husband, all these factors will bring them back to reality and teach them that having an opinion about everything is not such a good thing. **

I would absolutely love to have a daughter, but I pray to Allah that before giving me a daughter, give me a son so he can look after her in school and other social contexts.*

…;the more i read the more i laugh at it…are all the women you know wombs without brain ;)…lol

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Get to know him

^ wombs without brain? Didn't really get that.

[Terrible_Guy]

Re: Get to know him

@Ira

I would really like to understand this so please answer if someone can. Why do we always try to isolate women and not men? How come our daughters can go to all girls school or stay at home but our sons get to go to public schools and stay out late and what not??

Is the concept of izzat related to our daughters only? The sons have too strong of an imaan and personality from a young age or what? I have seen this happen in my family as well and would like to find out an answer to this.

I'll speak for myself here. As for what I mentioned in my post, I don't consider that to be isolation. I'm just concerned with keeping them in a proper environment, which I've seen for myself that public schools are not. I haven't mentioned anything in the way I would raise sons differently yet. Anyhow, what makes me want to raise girls in the way I mentioned comes partly from examples that I've seen from other people, i.e. how relatives and friends have successfully raised their girls.

When it comes to sons, I would also be very careful in their upbringing until they finish high school. Until then, I would make my best efforts to first put them in a Muslim school or a madrasa where they also teach academics. The next option would be an all boys school.

When it comes to boys, they still have the masjid they can go to several times a day. They have many more options to find a good environment. I would as a father be particular about taking my boys to the masjid regularly and get them to participate in the effort of deen, inshAllah.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Get to know him

@Ira

I would really like to understand this so please answer if someone can. Why do we always try to isolate women and not men? How come our daughters can go to all girls school or stay at home but our sons get to go to public schools and stay out late and what not??

Is the concept of izzat related to our daughters only? The sons have too strong of an imaan and personality from a young age or what? I have seen this happen in my family as well and would like to find out an answer to this.

I concur.

[Xcom_Cheetah]

Re: Get to know him

Why the one extremist considers the other extremist to be extremist and stupid...?

[Kaleem]

Re: Get to know him

@Ira

I would really like to understand this so please answer if someone can. Why do we always try to isolate women and not men? How come our daughters can go to all girls school or stay at home but our sons get to go to public schools and stay out late and what not??

Is the concept of izzat related to our daughters only? The sons have too strong of an imaan and personality from a young age or what? I have seen this happen in my family as well and would like to find out an answer to this.

Because women belong in Kitchen and in home. They do not need all the skills required to function in the outside world. Simple enough for you? :)

[Ira]

Re: Get to know him

No, Kaleem that is not the answer to my question. Not needing the skills and not giving them a choice is two different things.

[Kaleem]

Re: Get to know him

^ choice has been made by the men. They need to learn the skills that will lend to better home making. :D

[Ansoon]

Re: Get to know him

Kaleem .. aag sey maat khelo jal jaow gaye :p

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Get to know him

@Kaleem

Because women belong in Kitchen and in home. They do not need all the skills required to function in the outside world. Simple enough for you? :)

yes kaleem say it enough times. and one day u'll really believe it. and THEN you can start writing something to the likes of a paragraph on it!:)

[Ira]

Re: Get to know him

Kaleem , lagta hai aapko zinda rehnay ka shauq nahi raha!

[PakistaniAbroad]

Re: Get to know him

@skhan

PA, you have just burst a lot of bubbles.

well I wish.. but the reality is that most girls are delusional about what they can achieve and will continue on dead end pursuits.. a handful of them are actually successful which leads the majority to blindly follow but miserably fail..

sad but true..

[twin_born]

Re: Get to know him

Our generation is now increasingly becoming independent especially women. If you can reflect back into our daily lives ten years ago and now look around you see women driving their cars, working in restaurants, in customer services, HR managements, events manager, business women, artists, writers etc. Women are coming to adore independent women who have achieved their dreams so gracefully, women such as Sameena Peerzada. The glass ceiling effect is breaking gradually.

Women in Pakistan are more educated presently, most of them working in demanding jobs. We never give credit to the single mothers who in our conservative society brave the public domain dominated by men and simultaneously making sure her children are provided for. There are young women working with men and travelling the world for their careers and have no plans for marriage for a long time. Women today are rebelling against arranged marriages at an early stage. Women today are defining their individualities with their jobs. Thereby dating amongst women has increased and so has promiscuity, women today, are more daring than ever before. The young men today are now worrying how to please their women in relationships as well as sexually. Sex and the City is our favourite show simply because this is echoing many women’s feelings and providing many with courage to speak up and follow their desires.

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

@Sara516

Inshallah I hope to have sons, so that there'll be less guys like you around in the future :)

LOL

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

@parissenoor

…;the more i read the more i laugh at it…are all the women you know wombs without brain ;)…lol

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

@Anil Khan

........ Sara bibi, choose your mate very carefully; Khuda na kasta if you're stuck with a mian bhai, .........

Mian .... and Bhai ....... r u out of ur mind?

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

@Anil Khan

WitchDr, it is impossible to bring up girls the same way as boys. They are too different from each other. Girls can’t do certain things that boys can do and vice versa. Parents have to be lot more careful with girls; this is a fact of life. I am not saying completely keep girls from living a normal life; that is not my stance. However, when certain issues come up with the oppisite sex; parents really have to buckle down. I know this sounds over the top but thats how many pakistani parents have raised their daughters who have become perfectly matured pakistani ladies and wives.

Holy Smokes Pls. go back to PK, if u r not already there. I sincerely pray that may God never give you a duaghter (ameen) because you have no clue what a woman/girl is, how should they be treated/raised. Gosh… ppl like u still exist??

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

@PakistaniAbroad

hahah kids!

as long as desi women (paki or abcd) continue to frown upon the concept of arranged marriages, they’ll continue getting beaten up in the ‘open market’ by better candidates; who bring good looks, an expensive education and a rich daddy to the table. …

Holy Moly, what r u doing abroad? Please go back where you can freely exercise your traditional concepts in the name of culture, ghairat, whatever!!!

Thank God it’s just a chat or I wud have gotten rid of many today …huhhhh

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

Ira, Praisnoor, PCG, Sara, you all rock!

Fayz, good question but I think by now you must have gotten the answer to your question. Look at the mentality of desi guys (majority of the posts here), do you really think they can handle it? It's important and would help a great deal. It might not guarantee 100% success rate but desi guys who see a desi gal spending time with guys (any guy for that matter) label her bad, immoral, abcd, u name it. I don't care for arranged marriage, unless there's that opportunity of getting to know, but frankly speaking, there are very few desi guys who are mature enough to handle it!