5 months before your wedding and you find out that your partner has kept a few secrets from you and lied about things which to others is minor, but to you is a big thing.. he promises to never keep anything from you again but your not sure if you could fully trust him? Your not sure what to do.. advice please!
Thanks.. pls no silly suggestions cos im very sad at the moment. Maybe a few jokes will cheer me up tho 
Re: Genuine advice plz.
Are you sure you are distinguishing b/w lying and hiding?
I mean "aap nai bataya hee nahee shadi sai pehley k you also have a saving account with freaking 20k in it" is a secret you need not to worry but if he/she is doing 2nd marriage and you family is told that this is his/her first, this is something to worry about.
Re: Genuine advice plz.
^ Couple of things discovered.. Some which he hid, some which he lied about... Nothing along the lines of what your saying :) My issue really is.. do you ahead with the wedding or not? :|
Re: Genuine advice plz.
try talking to him about it, ask him the reasons of lying and hiding those things...maybe he was inseure and scared tht he'd be rejected and tht's why hid it?....and make it clear to him what's important for you and tht even if it's minor to him, he should tell you about it...it really depends what kind of a lie it was....and if he is a good person and you get along with him quite well then go ahead with the wedding...start afresh and make it clear to him tht u dnt want such a thing to repeat itself:)
Re: Genuine advice plz.
It depends on what it is.
If he lied about smoking...I dont think that is a deal breaker. If he lied about having dated someone in the past...not a deal breaker because its the past and hiding it is understandable in our desi culture.
Now, if he lied about his education...he doesnt really have a degree. I would worry. If he lied about children he has...I would worry. If he lied about a previous marriage...I would worry.
It depends on the weight of the situation.
It depends on what it is.
If he lied about smoking...I dont think that is a deal breaker. If he lied about having dated someone in the past...not a deal breaker because its the past and hiding it is understandable in our desi culture.
Now, if he lied about his education...he doesnt really have a degree. I would worry. If he lied about children he has...I would worry. If he lied about a previous marriage...I would worry.
It depends on the weight of the situation.
^This.
The main thing is how do **YOU **feel about going through the marriage?? Have your feelings for him changed over all this?? Do **YOU **think you'll have a hard time trusting him going forward. These are very tough questions because this is just the start. And if something does come up in the future you weren't aware of, how will it make you feel? If you think you can handle it again and not get worried or feak out, then you should be ok. If not, then you have a lot to think about. It's a big decision. It's your life. Be able to live with your decision and be satisfied by that decision. Good luck to you!!
Re: Genuine advice plz.
I'm not sure what he lied about, but if you have ANY uncertainty in your heart, pause ALL shaadi talk and think about what he lied about and talk it out with him until you are satisfied with the decision of marrying him.
Re: Genuine advice plz.
I was going to say what Reha said.
If it's a habit (like smoking, dating, clubbing...) that he use to have but *he changed * then I'd give him a chance. He's not obligated to share everything and neither are you because everyone has a past and it matters less when the people involved have changed for the better. But things that can affect the future of the marriage should be shared... like education (it's related to a job), kids, previous marriages, medical illness, STDs, etc.
Now that you know the truth, ask him what made him lie or hide whatever it was.
It depends on what it is.
If he lied about smoking...I dont think that is a deal breaker. If he lied about having dated someone in the past...not a deal breaker because its the past and hiding it is understandable in our desi culture.
Now, if he lied about his education...he doesnt really have a degree. I would worry. If he lied about children he has...I would worry. If he lied about a previous marriage...I would worry.
It depends on the weight of the situation.
Ditto what Reha said.
It all depends on you ability to forgive him, as well as your expectation of whether he should forgive you for the same level of transgression in the future.
As for calling off a wedding, I've got two friends who called off the wedding a month before and everyone applauded them for their courage. It's easier to get over and out of a broken engagement than to get out of a marriage.
The best advice by far from someone above, pause your wedding planning and think about things. Do some soul-searching and talk things out with him and your family - don't rush into a decision either way.
Re: Genuine advice plz.
as decent 6 said.. if it's about second marriage or some hidden girl friends, education/job lying or some STD's.. .. that's an issue.
but if it's about general lying like... oh my gosh.. you went to paris and you didn't told me.. or some other family issues... then certainly this is NOT a problem.
stop thinking too much about it.. and give the guy some space.. he is not freaaaking married yet.. and you don't own him yet !
Re: Genuine advice plz.
Depends on what he lied about. Are you upset over the fact that he lied, or are you upset over the stuff he lied about?
Re: Genuine advice plz.
Talk to him. Even on the phone. A big problem in our desi culture is not talking about problems with our s/o and just complaining to others, so talk to him!
Re: Genuine advice plz.
I agree with wat ria and Reha said .... firt of all it depends on the kind of thing he lied about and that makes a hell of a diff ... secondly no matter how big or small it is ... talk to him and try to resolve it out if u can ... if not then talk to ur parents and discuss the issue with them before takin any step
Re: Genuine advice plz.
I don't remember the correct words but there is a Hadith that if you are not sure about something , then leave it .
So if you think your level of communication with your future spouse is not up to the mark that you can just talk it out , then its bye bye time .
Re: Genuine advice plz.
Are you some one who keeps grudges? Are the lies about his personal life/ character ? Do you have trouble trusting people once they break it even with a minor issue?
Think about these questions. If the answer is yes, perhaps its best to at least pause the wedding prep for some re-evaluation. And again, that depends on how long you have known him etc etc.
Also, it's ok if your answer to those questions is yes. Don't go in with negative feelings.
Re: Genuine advice plz.
depends on how serious the issue is.
Like most people have said.. if he had a cupcake and told you he had a donut, marry him. If he said he was never married before and has 2 kids and was married once, bid adieu 
very well said ! :k:
Re: Genuine advice plz.
I wud extend the wedding date, Give myself more time to adjust to him again. And see if he can really change. I wouldnt go extreme and cancel the wedding or do that big step. I would quite simply jus change the dates to extend it, If in that time he has prooved that i can trust him again, i will marry him, And if he hasnt... well i would jus cancel the wedding and break off all ties. (easier said than done i know.) GUDLUCK!