Re: <> Aurat <>
Please feel fine in asking women their age.
Help them get over the inferiority complex, if they are 'older' or 'younger'. It is what is - their age. So is yours!
Age of women is not something that they ought to be hiding. Age is for instance, a huge sadness in the case of marriages in ‘Pakistani-Muslim’ community, where girls are considered suitable only as long as they are ‘mutable’ emotional relief or in many cases mere kissing boards. Men and their families, ultimately will ‘allow’ a very young girl to become apart of the family, since she is able to be ‘handled’ without worrying about given her equality, listening to her, sharing her say in with the rest of the family. The addiction is one of dignity and ability to f e e l like a valued individual, as a friend, as a lover and as a mature and sensible confidant, the better half. But wonder, how can a person have someone as your better- half, unless she has to be half your age!!! With age, comes personal independence, ability to know one’s rights, a sense of the horror that stares young women in their faces, and their ‘friend’ men emotionally and even physically go right over the top, in violating the personal warmth and trusting selves of these women. They justify that it is fine to do it. Think for a minute, if all women who have been betrayed by their counterparts, in so many life stories, if they were to turn around and start abusing men and befriending them, only marrying men who are younger than them, how would men and their parents feel? Age would feel like ACID, then, isn’t it? Religion, culture, traditional custom in a family or society is pretty skewed to keep women out, and prevent them from becoming ACTIVE role-players in the everyday life, personal or social. And then the accorded ‘izzat’, is self defined as attributable to a woman who is ‘obedient’ – to whom, you must wonder! Age brings experience. For men, it is considered alright to be ‘older’ But, for women to be same age as men, is seen as a threat, is not acceptable. So, in essence, equality is circumscribed, before it is even put into practice! Besides, strong women always hope for strong men, who know these women as they would know their own selves. & for this, age and a companion who is able to grow with the other companion, is only logical. Unless, there are people living in their ‘doubts’ and those who always admonished to be not afraid, are presenting themselves as nothing but fearful. God help them.
well said!