[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zig~Zag: *
Ok let's take a look at this one more time. You know how our Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) got married the first time. Let's compare it. There was a age difference. She was divorce and more over she was rich. This marriage happened at the same time when Arabs use to barry their daughters alive.
Can this kind of marriage happen in our society now? Not possible.
Why? Is this because of parents and biradri. You think like that I don't. There is difference in opinion.
I think it is not because they are brought up like that. They are made to think like that. They actually have followed same things like that. That's why they follow it like tradition. Right? So if you blame the biradri and the parents, is it going to solve the problem? No! You blame their parents and biradri. It is not going to work either because same thing they were brought up like that. It is like you are pointing towards the leaf and not going out to the roots.
You may disagree with what they say and it may seem insane to you. This is your view. Their view is that it is like a tradition, which needs to be followed. That's why I was saying that these parents think that it is good to do things like that. You thought that unconditional support? Huh.
So, lets focus here (since you don't know what the hell you are talking about) on why these people think like that? Are they really after money? Being in the age of near 50 and 60 they are thinking about money and not their children? I don't agree with that. What you say that 'parents are like human they could be wrong too' this is even not a statement. This is dumb. What are you trying to achieve here?
Anyway, so my questions are that without making any junk talk let me know:
What is the problem?
What is the root cause of the problem?
How to solve the problem?
[/QUOTE]
:)
Would you point out the difference between
this ===>"I think it is not because they are brought up like that."
and this ===> " They are made to think like that. "
Anyways, what you did is that you involved a part of Islam to justify your stance, exactly the same way parents do in our Society, anyways let me tell you something more here, even though this happened before the Prophethood, Hazrat Khadija's parents were not involved, and we know that the Parents of our Prophet SAW were not there either. The point I want to make here is this "that the parents involvement was not there" in the example you have chosen!
Here we are discussing about how parents force their children to follow the unIslamic traditions of their fore-fathers in order to please their biradri members.
Why should we follow UnIslamic traditions when we claim to be Muslims? Tell me WHY? Why should an UnIslamic tradition be followed when Islam has clearly identified the do's and don'ts on the subject? WHY should we follow man made laws when Allah has a law in place already? Tell me WHY?
You want to know why I blame the parents? Because the parents claim that they are Muslims! But when it comes to following Islam, the parents do not accept Islam as a complete way of life! The parents still want to follow the unIslamic customs and traditions of their non Muslim fore-fathers, which is "not allowed" by Islam!
But what happens in our society (thanks to people like yourself) is that the Un-Islamic customs and traditions, of the Non-Muslim fore fathers of our parents, are enforced on us under the umbrella of Islam!
People use Islamic teachings such as "obey your parents" "do not say uff to your parents", but at the same time when Islam teaches us to obey Allah and do not commit Shirk, this part of Islam is ignored!
The parents completely forget that our goal is to obey and please Allah and obeying Allah is only possible by adhering to Islamic teachings and principles, parents completely ignore that our goal is not to commit shirk, if our parents believe that since Islamic teachings about marriage are not in line or compatible with their family traditions then they can still follow their family traditions and ignore Islamic teachings on the subject and that it is allowed for them to do so, then isn't this Shirk?
Most parents in our society are of the belief that their family traditions regarding marriage are better than Islamic teachings!
The root cause of the problem lies in the fact that most parents do not know the true meaning of "La Ilaha IllAllah"!
The solution to the problem is to stop giving unconditional support to parents and stop giving them the benefit of the doubt! The parents are able to carry out what they want only because they know that everyone is going to support them!
Parents know that if their daughter wants to marry someone they don't want her to marry, they know that all their other children would support them not their daughter! Because in our society, the general assumption is that parents can never make a wrong decision for their children intentionally! But this is not true, you cannot find this anywhere in Islam, infact Islam stresses on us being just, even if it is against ourselves, our parents or relatives, we are only allowed to do what is right, no matter what the scenario may be!
But majority of the people in our society would support the parents regardless of them being right or wrong. Many believe that they will be rewarded for supporting their parents unconditionally!
