Friends or Lovers?

[Sara516]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

that's not true.

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

It was true for me, was true for my friends.

If someone finds that they were unable to see the feelings coming and surpress them, then that just means that they are needy and desparate and just in denial about it.

[Shikra]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

No Sara. The feelings don't HAVE to come between two friends (other than friendship feelings). That's not true. A guy and girl can be JUST friends. Ofcourse religiously it's wrong, but in general they can be friends.

[Sara516]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

Well those things dont’ apply to every single person…not every singel person that has developed feelings for someone doesn’t make them needy or weak…

it’s okay to have a heart and to feel things

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Sara516

it’s okay to have a heart and to feel things

No it’s not. Feelings are not logical, and they interfere with one’s ability to act in a rational & logical manner, so they are not ok.

[Sara516]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Shikra

No Sara. The feelings don’t HAVE to come between two friends (other than friendship feelings). That’s not true. A guy and girl can be JUST friends. Ofcourse religiously it’s wrong, but in general they can be friends.

I don’t think I said that friendships ALWAYS end up like that…of course they can remain totally platonic, i have guy friends too that I don’t feel anything for…i was just offering my personal experiences, but again i dont’ think that ill end up liking all of my guy friends..that wud jsut be desparate and needy

[Sara516]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@mAd_ScIeNtIsT

No it’s not. Feelings are not logical, and they interfere with one’s ability to act in a rational & logical manner, so they are not ok.

okay tin man…
theres supposed to be an equal balance between reason and passion…

*for reason - ruling alone, is a force confining… and passion - unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
*Khalil Gibran

[shivangi]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Impulse

this is something that really confuses me and I want to get it sorted once and for all

Is it true that a guy and girl can never be JUST friends?
So assuming some1 doesnt want to get hurt, and hence not fall into the risk of falling in love with a close friend of the opposite sex…does that mean they shouldnt have friends of the opposite sex?

Being as we FALL in love and dont intend to…should we try to avoid that situation happening? If we dont avoid it, maybe we may end up falling in love witha close friend but they dont feel the same way. hence u will loose a friend as well as some1 u loved…=double the hurt.

so what should be done? avoid talking to the opposite sex altogether…OR is a good solution to get things clear with them (i.e. ask that person beforehand what will happen if they do fall in love?) right at the beginning?

u r probably confused by the above :halo: I tried to ask it in the best way I can think of

i think they canbe friends. i ve many guys in my friend circle

[Dimagh_HotaToNa]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

it’s either NO GUY FRIENDS or A BOYFRIEND. For me, it’s impossible to be JUST friends with guys. I have(almost) never had any guy friends, they end up loving me (most of them). BULLSH*T .. .. it has happened to me a few times and that was good enough for me to know that either keep a boyfriend or not be friends with guys ever.

[Impulse]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Shikra

Have you forgotton the discussion in Life 1 where you and irem were on me?

shikra, thats exactly why im asking this question. I may have been wrong. Unlike SOME people I am willing to listen to what people have to say and “reform” my thinking if the need arises

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

I’m not sure if Impulse is one of those girls who can handle being just friends with guys

[Impulse]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@mAd_ScIeNtIsT

Only the needy and desperate suddenly develop feelings. Others can see the feelings coming and surpress them before they become a problem.

you’re not making much sense. Are you saying that u can STOP who u fall in love with? falling in love is not something that people choose…and if alot of them had the choice, they would choose not to cuz things get complicated.

and anyway, people who fall in love, are USUALLY firstly just friends. its how all love stories start

[Impulse]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@mAd_ScIeNtIsT

I’m not sure if Impulse is one of those girls who can handle being just friends with guys

the MAJORITY of guys are not even worth being friends with and hence not even worth risking anything further im not joking, I really believe this

[Impulse]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

OK OK .....MAYBE I SHOULD REPHRASE MY QUESTION.

is it ok to be CLOSE/BEST friends with 1 guy? (I mean say u r friends with about 20 guys....but there is 1 guy who is your closest/bestest friend). Is that then right without risking anything further?

[Raindance]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

There is a freak’in world out there ‘beyond’ your ‘Boy-meet-girl-score’ attitude.
wonder what you’l be like when you step into the ground zero reality.

kids!!! :k:

[acrobi123]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

^^ I think that is pretty natural regardless of the gender, in your case I'd say it bound to happen considering your example 20 ppl in a friend circle.

what ever the case maybe you are not risking anything, if its one-sided love and if you talk it through (again not the easiest thing) you become very good friends. tough way but it works.

[acrobi123]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Raindance

There is a freak’in world out there ‘beyond’ your ‘Boy-meet-girl-score’ attitude.
wonder what you’l be like when you step into the ground zero reality.

kids!!! :k:

OOye kids kay chacha

[Impulse]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Raindance

There is a freak’in world out there ‘beyond’ your ‘Boy-meet-girl-score’ attitude.
wonder what you’l be like when you step into the ground zero reality.

kids!!! :k:

YOU are what I call kids. I dont call any old tom, dick and harry my “friends”. For some1 for me to call them a friend, they would need to try real hard

I talk to guys in uni,…they probably consider me a “friend” but I dont. “Friends” is a strong word which people take lightly and basically call anyone and everyone a friend. I am asking this question because some guy said he considers me and him to be GOOD friends…infact bestest friends.

[Janwar]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

yaar is larka or larki kay chakar say bahar aakar zindage ko dekho , talash karo appni zindage or us kay maqsad , dekho logo ke taraf , dekho un kay doobay howay cheray dukh mai , dekho zindage ke reality . . . . . . .

kahe dair nah ho jaie :(

[Seedha_Saada]

Re: Friends or Lovers?

@Impulse

so what should be done? avoid talking to the opposite sex altogether…OR is a good solution to get things clear with them (i.e. ask that person beforehand what will happen if they do fall in love?) right at the beginning?

Try anything. Kuch naheen ban ne wala. The one in love is in deepest of troubles.