Question im asking u guyz is if u were getting married right now and u had close male freinds or female freinds frm college, uni etc would u still stay in contact with them after marriage or break your freindship with them incase ur partner gets the wrong end of the stick
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
I personally dont have guy friends but I wouldn't cut ties with a friend, regardless of gender, just because you're married. As long as your husband is on good terms with him and it's friendly and nothing too OTT, it should be perfectly fine.
That being said, I'm happy my fiance doesn't have any friends that are girls and nor do I have any which are boys. We prefer it that way and has been like that before we even got together.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
I have a few friends who have cut ALL ties with any male friends after they got married, and i've found that a bit harsh. In some cases, some friends have not even been told by their hubbies to stop talking to guys, but they get it in their head that it's not 'appropriate' or they dont want to look bad to their family/in laws etc. Thats up to them really.
I dont have loads of guy friends, but I do have a few. My fiance would have to trust me enough to know that I would always stay within limits and know what is appropriate. It depends what kinda person you are, with me I've always made it clear that i wont don't allow inappropriate behaviour. My other half did have an issue with my guy mates (being the paki man that he is!) but i've argued for my side more than enough times, and he knows that Im not doing anything wrong.
plus, imagine having only girl friends all the time. they'd probably drive me nuts :(
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
plus i have a very good guy friend who will be doing my photography for my wedding for free, so that doesnt hurt either! ;)
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
i like your post simply because its funny that girlfriends would drive you insane :)
baqi i dont agree with u :)
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Yes but Desmene it really does depends what kind of friendship you have. I don't have an issue with meeting up with groups of friends who are guys and girls, I do it all the time, but its not the same as me meeting up with individual guys and having a nice intimate coffee with them. Also if there's trust issues about having guy mates, who's to say the same couldnt happen with male cousins/inlaws/relatives etc?
You need to set your own boundaries but you should have some freedom.
Maybe it depends on just the country we live in?
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Yes but Desmene it really does depends what kind of friendship you have. I don't have an issue with meeting up with groups of friends who are guys and girls, I do it all the time, but its not the same as me meeting up with individual guys and having a nice intimate coffee with them. Also if there's trust issues about having guy mates, who's to say the same couldnt happen with male cousins/inlaws/relatives etc? You need to set your own boundaries but you should have some freedom. Maybe it depends on just the country we live in?
No luv, it depends on ones mind set. If some lasses cannit control their 'bollywood' friendship with a male, they seem to have hang ups about any lass who can. Cos you knows, having male friends = ************ - you have fill in the stars yourself...I cannit use rude words anymore :/
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
he must be really insecure if he wants me to cut ties with my guy friends. it'd be hard too considering one of my closest bestest longest ever friends is a guy. no point losing such a long friendship over a relationship where you aren't trusted.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Nah it isnt that Madhatter, im just more accepting of the fact that there are certain things a guy isnt comfortable with and I am alright with conforming to them since it is essentially a give and take the way I see it
I pick my battles
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
I'm still in touch will all my friends from college. Wouldn't dream of asking my husband to stop talking to his girl pals just because we're married, and vice versa. He knows all my friends, including the guys and they get along just fine. Hah my mom has more of a problem with me being friends with a guy after marriage than my husband :o
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Totally depends on your friendship & your SO. I as such dont have any fast female friends but whenever I am visiting Pakistan, I do get in touch with my class fellows (including female class fellows) them and my wife has no issue whatsoever with it. We just try to arrange a meetup at some fast food place and most of the time we join in couples.
My wife had 3-4 good male friends from her university time, she invited them on our wedding too, introduced them to me and I have nothing but respect for the friendship. She does not get much time in her everyday schedule to get in touch with them now but one of them is in Canada and whenever he is visiting Toronto, we invite them (he is married now too) at our place and have good time.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
if my relationship was just 'Friendship' and nothing 'hanky-panky' was going on, i will definitely carry my friendship into my relationship and the same goes for my would-be wife.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Actually those issues get answered after couple of divorces.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
A girl who is willing to keep close male friends SHOULD tell that to
the guy she is getting married to.
Like this "I cant give up on my other men, if you can live with it marry me other wise move on"
Rather then "oh I know him , and the other him was in my school and the other other him. I know him"
and after marriage those little him(s) become "close male friends"
What the F...
Kisis kam meen to do numbri chor do tum log.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
i personally dont see wives having other male friends , and husbands having other female friends for whatever reasons
its funny how people who do such have a whole bunch of ifs ands and buts in their explanations...
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
had or has?
Totally depends on your friendship & your SO. I as such dont have any fast female friends but whenever I am visiting Pakistan, I do get in touch with my class fellows (including female class fellows) them and my wife has no issue whatsoever with it. We just try to arrange a meetup at some fast food place and most of the time we join in couples.
My wife had 3-4 good male friends from her university time, she invited them on our wedding too, introduced them to me and I have nothing but respect for the friendship. She does not get much time in her everyday schedule to get in touch with them now but one of them is in Canada and whenever he is visiting Toronto, we invite them (he is married now too) at our place and have good time.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
am still in contact with boys from my first school and we weren't even close friends...but it's just on fb, we talked to each other once or twice over phone and that's about it, some of them are married too btw and I'm friend with their wives too. hehe
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Yes but Desmene it really does depends what kind of friendship you have. I don't have an issue with meeting up with groups of friends who are guys and girls, I do it all the time, but its not the same as me meeting up with individual guys and having a nice intimate coffee with them. Also if there's trust issues about having guy mates, who's to say the same couldnt happen with male cousins/inlaws/relatives etc? You need to set your own boundaries but you should have some freedom. Maybe it depends on just the country we live in?
i partly agree with you mad hatter yes i agree it all depends on what kind of freindship you have with your male freinds and girl freinds, for instance if you are out with your husband and one of his girl freind approaches and goes for a hug thats is unacceptable but if she comes over says hello how r u etc i would say thts acceptable there should be a limit in your freindship ,
i dont agree that it depends on what country u live in , every1 whether its pak uk etc, if u have close freinds that you have known for years its hard for to let go after marriage
trust also plays a big part u trust your partner them life goes more smoothly:)
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
Tum larkian insan ban jao, don't let life teach you the hard way.
Think about i why its always girls who ask this question???
God made you to love and to care, you need to contain that for your future family kids etc.
Don't attach your self unnecessarily, your male "friend" is going to change his phone number in a sec when his wifey create an issue about it.
Re: freindships after marriage mmm
God made you to love and to care, you need to contain that for your future family kids etc.
Just because I have male friends I will be unable to love my husband and kids? Seriously?
Don't attach your self unnecessarily, your male "friend" is going to change his phone number in a sec when his wifey create an issue about it.
Women aren't THAT desperate to "attach" themselves to male friends. Not all friendships last through the years, doesn't mean you totally stop having friends.