Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Put it this way ... if a person admits to you that they have committed adultery ... Would you stone them to death? Would you even give them 80 lashes?
Why would anyone want the responsibility of that knowledge?
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
For those who are saying they won't get past it, I'm interested to know what steps they would take? Initiate divorce proceedings? Separate bedrooms? Go to your mother's house? Talk with relatives and family?
My mind is ticking off each one.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
If telling something I've done in the past will ruin my marriage/relationship than its better not to tell. Simple.
According to a wise friend of mine, if your relationship/marriage is based on what you've done or not done in past than its not worth it.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
slap.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
for starters get out of my face
For those who are saying they won't get past it, I'm interested to know what steps they would take? Initiate divorce proceedings? Separate bedrooms? Go to your mother's house? Talk with relatives and family?
My mind is ticking off each one.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Yes I would forgive if the apology is sincere, but after smacking some hard chantas to that face.
Nowadays, people have affairs before marriage,** its kind of common**, sadly, but after marriage it is just plain wrong.
you are okay with it jut b/c it's kind of common? so once cheating becomes common you'll be okay with it too?
but it kinda does make sense. No wonder why many men overseas don't care about women past sexual encounters. It's rare to run into a women who hasn't been freaking
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
^Those men don’t make an issue of it cos they’re not edit hypocrites.. Unlike some they realise if they’re not virgins themselves it’s ridiculous to demand or expect their partner should be 
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
is there any guarantee that a virgin spouse won't go start fornicating later??
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Say you have been married for around 10 years plus, and have been quite happy in your married life and are content. Your partner comes to you one day and confesses to having a short, meaningless fling many years earlier with a random person, which your partner ended as they felt too guilty about. They have since been making a big effort in your marriage and feel much more content/invested in the marriage, and have only told you now because they didn't want to damage the marriage before and feel that you deserve to know the truth now.
Would you be able to forgive them at some point, and continue being married to them? Seeing as they made a big effort to show what the marriage means to them, and that they have (eventually) confessed, would that mean anything? Or would you want a divorce?
Also, if your partner had cheated on you years ago but it was only the once or it was very short term affair– would you rather just not know about it, or would you want to know?
Forgive, try to forget and move on. I'd see the sincerity. But it also depends on the situation. Like how detailed the affair was...what are the chances of it happening again.
Regarding the second question, if I don't know then how would I care? If there weren't any signs then just as well.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Divorce....I don’t have any tolerance for adulterers and fornicators.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
you are okay with it jut b/c it's kind of common? so once cheating becomes common you'll be okay with it too?
but it kinda does make sense.** No wonder why many men overseas don't care about women past sexual encounters. It's rare to run into a women who hasn't been freaking**
Who said anything about cheating? Cheating is entirely different. You are making it sound women as if they all have past sexual encounters. Tells me lot about you and your up- bringing. So before you point your finger on Men overseas..you might look at yourself first.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
If he loves me now and is invested in this marriage...I don't want to know.
I don't want to be the one obsessing over his fidelity just because he doesn't want to feel guilty anymore.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Well as for topic..if she tells me later. I would remind her..that she should have told me before. And of course..i understand that.ppl hide something because she felt guilty about it. So i would forgive..as long as she has been committed and was good wife all along.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
you are okay with it jut b/c it's kind of common? so once cheating becomes common you'll be okay with it too?
but it kinda does make sense. No wonder why many men overseas don't care about women past sexual encounters. It's rare to run into a women who hasn't been freaking
You misunderstood me. I said that it is quite common that people have affairs before marriage that is why they take chances during marriage. Situations are different for each marriage partner to deal with such issue.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Also, if your partner had cheated on you years ago but it was only the once or it was very short term affair– would you rather just not know about it, or would you want to know?
I wouldn't really care about what happened before me, but during our marriage/relationship if someone cheated on me, I would want to know.
As far as forgive, I don't think I would be able to forgive straight away. Depending upon the circumstances of the affair I'd choose to stick it out or not. And ofcourse a fight (non physical) and several days of not speaking would follow. But I guess depending upon how she behaves during this argument time will decide whether I forgive or not. Either way, I will never forget. I may want to, but infidelity is a scarring wound.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
If he tells me laterz then there is nothing i can do can i?. I would forgive as it happened long time ago and get on with life.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
would his bank balance and/or income level mitigate or exacerbate your reactions?
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
Eh, I'd be pissed.
Re: Forgiving Past Adultery
why is it so hard to have an argument w/o getting personal and passing personal remarks
???
Who said anything about cheating? Cheating is entirely different. You are making it sound women as if they all have past sexual encounters. Tells me lot about you and your up- bringing. So before you point your finger on Men overseas..you might look at yourself first.