why is it so hard to have an argument w/o getting personal and passing personal remarks
???
Because logic is something that is completely lost on some people. It makes one simultaneously sad and enraged that people like that are allowed to spew their opinions, use teh interwebz, or reproduce for that matter. Really, it's quite depressing.
In all seriousness though, I agree with you. People should try to debate without resorting to name calling. And this is much harder to do, but people should also try to admit when they're wrong, or when their "facts" are just opinions.
Say you have been married for around 10 years plus, and have been quite happy in your married life and are content. Your partner comes to you one day and confesses to having a short, meaningless fling many years earlier with a random person, which your partner ended as they felt too guilty about. They have since been making a big effort in your marriage and feel much more content/invested in the marriage, and have only told you now because they didn't want to damage the marriage before and feel that you deserve to know the truth now.
Would you be able to forgive them at some point, and continue being married to them? Seeing as they made a big effort to show what the marriage means to them, and that they have (eventually) confessed, would that mean anything? Or would you want a divorce?
Also, if your partner had cheated on you years ago but it was only the once or it was very short term affair– would you rather just not know about it, or would you want to know?
I will tell her, since she is being honest she has a rite to know the truth too, i had 2 affairs and i am having 3rd one now. I wud see her response and my response to her confession wud depend on her response to my story.
I will tell her, since she is being honest she has a rite to know the truth too, i had 2 affairs and i am having 3rd one now. I wud see her response and my response to her confession wud depend on her response to my story.
Actually am lieing.... I wud recommend it to others because divorce is least liked halal act. As for myself am not strong enough or forgiving enough to forgive her on having an affair. it wud best if she kept it to herself and didnt confess in front of me.
Say you have been married for around 10 years plus, and have been quite happy in your married life and are content. Your partner comes to you one day and confesses to having a short, meaningless fling many years earlier with a random person, which your partner ended as they felt too guilty about. They have since been making a big effort in your marriage and feel much more content/invested in the marriage, and have only told you now because they didn't want to damage the marriage before and feel that you deserve to know the truth now.
Would you be able to forgive them at some point, and continue being married to them? Seeing as they made a big effort to show what the marriage means to them, and that they have (eventually) confessed, would that mean anything? Or would you want a divorce?
Also, if your partner had cheated on you years ago but it was only the once or it was very short term affair– would you rather just not know about it, or would you want to know?
i would forgive him if he was a wonderful hubby,if it was a one time meaningless lust driven fling, wouldnt let "society" know about it b/c its none of their business, their only purpose would be to have a topic to gossip about in their next gettogether. it does depend on the situation and the details do matter but if he's a good man, this one little mistake shouldnt erase the 95% good times where he was a good,decent, loving, caring, respectful man.
we all have flaws and we're constantly trying to improve ourselves, we aren't perfect beings so it's better to leave most of the judging to God.............so I would rather know about what he had/has done.
Am surprised that so many who insisted they would **only **marry a virgin would somehow be so forgiving of adultery.. To me that's a much bigger deal..
The nonforgiving scorpion in me would not because cheating is absolutely a crime big enough to end a marriage however, having children changes everything. I would honestly resent him to some degree but If he is a good father and if he really is apologetic, I would not end my marriage. I don't want my kids to suffer for his moment of sheer stupidity and my inability to forgive. So maybe a few counseling sessions later, and a whole lot of throwing it in his face, I think we might just be able to make this marriage better.
^Which sign of the Zodiac welcomes infidelity anyway, hmm?
The lioness in me (Leo) will either rip him to shreds ....or stalk off with my nose in the air and shame him with a cold shoulder that'll make him forever squirm in my royal presence. The latter sounds more fun. Yup, that's what I'll go with.
Am surprised that so many who insisted they would **only **marry a virgin would somehow be so forgiving of adultery.. To me that's a much bigger deal..
is virginity one of your pet peeves or something? you latch on to it any chance you get. what's up with that?
^Which sign of the Zodiac welcomes infidelity anyway, hmm?
The lioness in me (Leo) will either rip him to shreds ....or stalk off with my nose in the air and shame him with a cold shoulder that'll make him forever squirm in my royal presence. The latter sounds more fun. Yup, that's what I'll go with.
rofllll. hahahahhaha.
and also, how can you stay with someone knowing you don't respect them and possibly resent them because of what they did. i could never let it go. people have choices in a marriage.
The spouse who cheated should never tell if the marriage means anything to them. If they do, and even if they're forgiven, it's bound to come up in an argument sooner or later. Ignorance truly is bliss and the person who cheated should learn to live with their guilt. There is nothing magnanimous about coming clean.
Single folks will rationalize this situation very differently than married one. For them it is about some person they don't even know.
For me I'll fight with him first, will be bitter but eventually I will get over it. It would take me a long time to trust him completely though. He would have to work really hard to gain that trust back in due time.
