True....but one has to be balanced and use common sense.
If you can't get a job that will earn you a decent living wage b/c you're going to school or immigration issues or whatever and youll have to live with ur parents and be supported by them or collect benefits from the state, then its not the best time to get married.
But if you're making a good amount, settled in your career the ONLY reason stopping you from marriage or having kids is not having a 5 bedroom house, or designer clothes or a mercedes, that's not right either.
well said !
just tell your in laws that it is Allah's will and we would have kids when He wills. am surprised why would in laws push their sons to make babies even when they know that the son is still studying. Unfair that is !
These days every married couple first think about good food, shelter, high wages etc and later on decide to having kids. But pplz r neglecting one important thing that Allah SWT! had taken responsibility for every single living thing on this earth, to feed, raise etc.
let say a married couple planned not to have kid(s) for certain period untill they will achieve a resonable position. Couples completed their studies, Got their own home, good reasonable wages with secure job etc.
What if after the birth of child(s) these all achievements are just vanished, what if its all goes opposite and they have to live in poverty? They already hav kid(s) so whom the couple will gonna curse? How thy will raise, feed, take responsiblites of their kidz including themselve?
In relations, some pplz get preganent in first try and some after lots of try. This is b’coz when Allah SWT! put the life in the sprums then the infant will take first breath in the womb of mother and it could b one, twin or more, by Grace of Allah SWT.
Married couples should thanks to Allah SWT! and always seek beterness b’coz whatever happen in this world is by His will.
Myths ask those couples who wasted huge amount like a rain on medicines/medical treatment wishing to get preganent once. Our respected elders have seen more springs season of lifes and whatever they say in this regards is the experience of their life not an air-tales. like some1 said Old is Gold.
name_105! well i’m not predictive and what i said earlier, that actual happened so thats why i shared otherwise this is not a fun thread/discussion where i came to hav fun, it is serious matter.
We have one more family they belongs from Balochistan. The couples of this family had 13 kidz, two of them died in infant age. Ony 1 bread-winning person raised all 11 kidz. They all completed their studies and some of them working with a reasonable wages. One thing here i would like to share with u which make me laugh. The husband wants to marry another women to have more kidz
The wife as she told us she had her 1st child when she was 18 yrs old.
weird advice. So far only few pplz enlighten with valuable commets. As per men’s giving advice, i think they loves their wives and don’t wanna se others pplz frustrate their wives by alto falto bukbuk like 'lagta hy larki mein koi kami hay, lagta hay varasti bemari hay, lagta hay ke banj hay etc etc. Pressuring go for second marriage as the first wife can’t get preganent.
Example: couples married since 26 yrs ago.
P.S. Pardon my poor english and no offensive to any1.
And rightfully they SHOULD think about those things first before taking such a huge step!
Common sense and having belief in Allah swt ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.
This is my stance on marriage and financial security–You marry someone who is established and has a job and has ambition to do better in life. That is called making an educated and informed decision. If that money is lost for whatever reason, or the person loses their job etc, halaat buray ho jatay hain THAT is kismat.
The same goes for children. If you’re living on food stamps and welfare and your parents are paying rent for your place, its irresponsible to deliberately bring a child in to the world. But if you are set and things take a turn for the worst…not to worry because Allah swt will provide.
WOW and this is helpful…how?
Obviously you find it so funny that he’s looking for another wife, so yeah go ahead and have the first child asap…cz who knows her husband may or may not leave her
Stop using silly scare tactics and claim they are part of religion..b/c they’re not.
Rest the mother of 13 kidz is a real example for those couples who fear how to raise their kidz in case some misfortunates happened. Strong belief in Allah SWT! ke Woh hi sb ka Raziq hy, and a lil bit common sense k yeh wohi Rab hay jo duniya ke tamal makhlooq ko pal rahi hay.
Age does not always equal greater wisdom, that’s a very naive thing to say. If that was true why do many of our parents and grandparents still believe in things we know aren’t right such as the caste system, racism and forced marriages?? Aren’t those beliefs held more by elders than younger people??
For each happy story of a couple successfully raising 13 kids with little or absolutely no money there are prob 1000 unhappy ones where they are struggling to make ends meet, begging, giving away their young daughters to dirty old men to marry cos they can’t afford to feed them.. the odd positive story here and there does not reflect reality and it’s ridiculous to make out otherwise..
'Children have the right to be fed, clothed, and protected until they reach adulthood.’
You made a blanket statement along the lines of ‘elders always know best’ which I pointed out is not always true.
As for ur link, the Saudi scholar u mentioned in regards to contraception is Wahhabi, much much more literal and orthodox than us ‘regular’ Hanafis, no wonder u have such a conservative slant in ur answers.. There are lots of points in that post that need addressing but the one that is niggling at me straight away is the mention of those scholars disallowing the pill simply because it alters a woman’s physiology. How can this be forbidden when other pills such as the ones that delay a woman’s period (I know about it because my mum got it from the doctor when she went on Hajj) be allowed?? It’s not logical.. There have been mentions here that the pill has a risk of side-effects or can cause some harm to the body but in reality that risk is actually no more than most other tablets we take such as aspirin but that doesn’t stop us using them, does it?
The vast vast majority of sholars do allow the condom, there is not much difference in opinion in regards to that despite what u have written, in fact u’ll struggle to find a non-Salafi scholar or imam who says it’s not allowed.
Regarding the pill:
'Other contemporary and well-known methods of birth control include oral contraceptives and vaginal suppositories.Using such methods is permissible as long as there is no harm in them.’
What? That birth control isn't safe? This fear mongering is getting ridiculous.
It's not about being safe or is not safe
the thing is, my very close frnd had been using birth control thingy's for about 4 yrs then they both tried to conceive and God forbid its now 7th year and nothing is happening
The Doc had also told them, birth controls are not guaranteed to be safe
^
Let me tell u, many times I opened thread in parenting on behalf of my friend who married since last 11 years and have only I baby boy.
When I asked me why don’t u try for second he said: ‘we decided not to have kids soon it doesn’t mean we don’t want. Of course we want to but decided to have it later on. Now I including myself trying our best (by visiting doctor/taking medicine) have second baby.’ When we got married my wife wants to continue studies and I wants to achieve higher wages so when she completed her studies and I got higher wages than Allah SWT! Bless us with a baby boy. But then we again said no more babies until I achieve a higher position. Studies of my wife are completed and I’m having a higher position with reasonable position but all what is missing in our life is another kidz.
Moreover he said: ‘we went for umrah and prayed to Allah SWT to grant us more kidz and forgive or foolishness’.
The mother with 11 kidz is an example they never thought for family planning so Allah SWT! Blessed him 13 kidz and two of them who died in infact age will hold their parents figures and take then in Jannah. This is a reward from Allah SWT!
All I want to say that u never say no to babies. Always pray to Allah SWT! Betterness. No wonder Allah SWT! Kab kisi ke baat sun lay.
^ Lethal, mate, you are full of sh'ite. Pretty much everybody uses birth control. Its not like it has carbon that chokes their filters. People can have difficulty in conceiving due to several reasons.
Lethal Kamikaze , I respect you for the islamic knowledge you have but I would disagree with above,.
The above is the most sickest concept we have ! You are saying Subhan Allah because 2 of her kids died and now they will take their parents to Jannat …this is just insane.
The most difficult thing in this world is to see your own child in pain. For a parent death of a child is unimaginable. I don’t understand why parents wish for Jannat at the cost of their kid’s life. How much mean can one become in order to get Jannat ?
I know a woman who used to pray hard that one of her son dies so that she may get Jannat. I think she is selfish , mean & worse than animal because even animals protect their children over their own life.
And yes fertility issues can come up due to several reasons. We should have some mercy on woman’s health too , she is not a baby making machine !
ask those couples who wasted huge amount like a rain on medicines/medical treatment wishing to get preganent once. Our respected elders have seen more springs season of lifes and whatever they say in this regards is the experience of their life not an air-tales. like some1 said Old is Gold.
