well arent u just ms. optimistic ..
hehe...It would actually be Mr.
Re: forced to have a baby
Hold on.
Girls studies full-time and is expected to rear kids.
Isnt this clearly unfeasible to the wise parents.
Re: forced to have a baby
Tell them, the husband doesnt even have a job, he cant even get into a good uni, and your 19 and also at college. can i ask why you got married so quickly, having a baby is another thing, but the fact that you got married in this situation shows that your inlaws/parents, will expect kids anyway, obv if finances wasnt a big deal while they got you married, i doubt its an excuse for them now.
i think most parents think it doesnt matter if you can afford it or not, its from allah.
i dont know why people never use their common sense, isnt that from allah too......
lethal kamikaze is correct. I personally know two couples who decided not to have baby for few year (saying they want to enjoy first)......and they still don't have one for over 20 years....
One wife committed suicide.....the other couple regrets it and keeps crying....
A word of advice: never stop your first two kids. do planning from third.
ive seen this alot, people push out 2 quick babies, and then plan the 3rd.....
Re: forced to have a baby
^ Whats this, some kind of curse if you dont wanna have kids early.
What--its not fair if it is. Some kind of divine blackmail?!
ive seen this alot, people push out 2 quick babies, and then plan the 3rd.....
Yeah, I wonder why..... we had our first child quick, then gave a gap of four years. Alhamdulillah everything worked out fine.
I know of a couple who waited 10 years and didn't have any kids, they decided now we want one and MashaAllah they conceived within 2 months of trying without any medical intervention. So yes, it is Allah's will.
A word of advice: never stop your first two kids. do planning from third.
explain?
Re: forced to have a baby
relevant to this, waise koran mai hai an ayat like:
'dont restrain marriage from ffear of poverty, for he will provide sustenance'
hope it dont imply, if you restrain you will make him angry.
Re: forced to have a baby
They can't..
lethal, which corner of the world you from?
I was wondering that..
Some of the opinions in this thread are crazy..
I have been married for 8 months now. I am 19 at this point and my hubby’s 22, plus he is my cousin. He came from Pakistan and is still struggling to get admission in a good uni. I am also a college student. We are happily married but the issue is that both mine and his parents are pressurizing us to have a baby which we don’t want at this point. My hubby is the only son in his family therefore his parents are eagerly waiting to see their grandchild, and they won't listen. My father-in-law gets angry with my hubby every time he brings this topic up. We are living with my parents for now since my hubby’s new to the place...he doesn’t have a driver’s license, and can’t afford to live separately because he is the only one working. I really don’t know what to do right now, what should i do? any suggestions?
OMG you sound like my friends mate! Shes in a similar situation.
I was wondering that..
Some of the opinions in this thread are crazy..
seriously. A child should never be conceived due to fear, paranoia, revenge, or obligation. S/he should be conceived out of love, fulfillment, and hope.
Re: forced to have a baby
Hey fella. I just remembered, birth control is allowed in Islam, as it was practiced in the prophets (saw) time and I remember once a lady aalima guest was giving advice on islamic birth control on the nadia khan show.
...But i dont remember if only certain birth control methods are permitted where others could then loose barakha?
This is serious stuff, cos im not a big fan of kids and certainly not in early stages too pls!
Re: forced to have a baby
i had the same problem at beginnign but know we are married for 1 yr
if ur parents parents-in-law husband force u 2 much abt this!
just go and ask ur husband just one question:
tumhare paas hai kya? tum karte kya ho?
ihv done this, and u know jo pakistan c larke ate hain they understand it very easily... and i think u husband will understand u if he realy wants 2 c u happy
just finish ur studies and after all 19 is not an age 2 make kids...
my hubbay always say this we both are 21 and he is 22 and he always says our age is not making kids...
:)
relevant to this, waise koran mai hai an ayat like:
'dont restrain marriage from ffear of poverty, for he will provide sustenance'
hope it dont imply, if you restrain you will make him angry.
There's nothing wrong with putting off kids cos u don't feel ready or want to just enjoy newly married life. **Temporary **contraception is perfectly ok in our religion (in the early days of Islam the withdrawal method was used). Permanent methods such as sterilisation are obviously haram tho (except for health reasons). It's our culture that seems to have a problem with contraception.
.
relevant to this, waise koran mai hai an ayat like:
'dont restrain marriage from ffear of poverty, for he will provide sustenance'
hope it dont imply, if you restrain you will make him angry.
True....but one has to be balanced and use common sense.
If you can't get a job that will earn you a decent living wage b/c you're going to school or immigration issues or whatever and youll have to live with ur parents and be supported by them or collect benefits from the state, then its not the best time to get married.
But if you're making a good amount, settled in your career the ONLY reason stopping you from marriage or having kids is not having a 5 bedroom house, or designer clothes or a mercedes, that's not right either.
Re: forced to have a baby
^ Explained perfectly.. too many Muslims seem to have had a common-sense bypass..
Re: forced to have a baby
Nice comments ladies.
Guess no kids for some time should be ok.
Re: forced to have a baby
its always good to have a rest after first 2 and especially back to back
my mum says...don't wait... sometimes the wait becomes too long