I have been married for 8 months now. I am 19 at this point and my hubby’s 22, plus he is my cousin. He came from Pakistan and is still struggling to get admission in a good uni. I am also a college student. We are happily married but the issue is that both mine and his parents are pressurizing us to have a baby which we don’t want at this point. My hubby is the only son in his family therefore his parents are eagerly waiting to see their grandchild, and they won’t listen. My father-in-law gets angry with my hubby every time he brings this topic up. We are living with my parents for now since my hubby’s new to the place…he doesn’t have a driver’s license, and can’t afford to live separately because he is the only one working. I really don’t know what to do right now, what should i do? any suggestions?
Re: forced to have a baby
Just don't have it and tell the parents we are trying.
Re: forced to have a baby
Just tell them Dua KaraiN
I have been married for 8 months now. I am 19 at this point and my hubby’s 22, plus he is my cousin. He came from Pakistan and is still struggling to get admission in a good uni. I am also a college student. We are happily married but the issue is that both mine and his parents are pressurizing us to have a baby which we don’t want at this point. My hubby is the only son in his family therefore his parents are eagerly waiting to see their grandchild, and they won't listen. My father-in-law gets angry with my hubby every time he brings this topic up. We are living with my parents for now since my hubby’s new to the place...he doesn’t have a driver’s license, and can’t afford to live separately because he is the only one working. I really don’t know what to do right now, what should i do? any suggestions?
You will have a baby when Allah wills it. That said...remind your nagging in-laws and parents of this simple fact.:
"Aap ke baar baar kehnay se bacha faurun to nahin paida hoga. Yeh sab Allah ki marzi par depend karta hai."
Also explain to them babies are rather expensive...and as much as the grandparents would be happy to have one.....it's the PARENTS who will be raising it. And it's smart/practical planning to want to be financially secure before popping out babies.
Just tell them Dua KaraiN
agreed.
Re: forced to have a baby
Never say that u don't want at this point. I knw two family (our neighbour) who said the same thing we don't want at this point. they are married 26 years ago and still they don't have any single child.
The second family had one child at then thy said we don't want now we'll take a break. Now the kidz is 8 years old and they r trying for 2nd 1 but nothing happen.
Always pray to Allah SWT! for betterness, if He bless u in this age (at this time) or a later on u couple should be thankful to Him and seek always well-wishes for your kidz.
moreover, Allah SWT! jis ko dena chahy to be-hisaab deta hay or jisay nahi to phir kuch bhi nahi.
Re: forced to have a baby
^
matlab kisi ko 15-20 mil jatay hain 
Re: forced to have a baby
^
Allah ki dain hain Woh jitnay marzi dy or jise chahy marzi dy 
Oh u mean the last line hehehe what i meant here is blessings (any kind of)
Never say that u don't want at this point. I knw two family (our neighbour) who said the same thing we don't want at this point. they are married 26 years ago and still they don't have any single child.
The second family had one child at then thy said we don't want now we'll take a break. Now the kidz is 8 years old and they r trying for 2nd 1 but nothing happen.
Always pray to Allah SWT! for betterness, if He bless u in this age (at this time) or a later on u couple should be thankful to Him and seek always well-wishes for your kidz.
moreover, Allah SWT! jis ko dena chahy to be-hisaab deta hay or jisay nahi to phir kuch bhi nahi.
that scares me.. we both love babies . my mom says the same thing that if we use any type of birth control then we might have complications in future. but i don't completely agree with it. everyone uses it these .
Re: forced to have a baby
^
I believe what ur mother said thats true. and she (ur mother) had seen spring seasons more than your age.
Re: forced to have a baby
lethal, which corner of the world you from?
Re: forced to have a baby
^
why Modz ji! mein ne kuch galat likh diya 
I believe what ur mother said thats true.
yeah, this.
you heard/read this where?
I don't think having a baby because your parents want a grandchild is such a good idea. I mean, you said it yourself you're both not emotionally and financially ready to bring a child into this world. If you're both studying perhaps you can tell your parents that you want to complete your studies before you even consider having a baby.
Re: forced to have a baby
lethal...you talk crap.
You dont have to tell people that you are not trying.
Its between you your husband and god.
I have been married for 8 months now. I am 19 at this point and my hubby’s 22, plus he is my cousin. He came from Pakistan and is still struggling to get admission in a good uni. I am also a college student. We are happily married but the issue is that both mine and his parents are pressurizing us to have a baby which we don’t want at this point. My hubby is the only son in his family therefore his parents are eagerly waiting to see their grandchild, and they won't listen. My father-in-law gets angry with my hubby every time he brings this topic up. We are living with my parents for now since my hubby’s new to the place...he doesn’t have a driver’s license, and can’t afford to live separately because he is the only one working. **I really don’t know what to do right now, what should i do? **any suggestions?
Well....DONT get pregnant for the first thing!
Parents may mean well but they do not have a right to know about your sex life nor to pressure you for grandchildren, esp when you're both so young and dependent on everyone else.... You're only 19/22 and still have your whole lives ahead of you iA.
You have the ability to make an educated decision..
Consider yourself extremely lucky that you and your husband are on the same page about this.
that scares me.. we both love babies . my mom says the same thing that if we use any type of birth control then we might have complications in future. but i don't completely agree with it. everyone uses it these .
your best bet is using condoms.
Never say that u don't want at this point. I knw two family (our neighbour) who said the same thing we don't want at this point. they are married 26 years ago and still they don't have any single child.
The second family had one child at then thy said we don't want now we'll take a break. Now the kidz is 8 years old and they r trying for 2nd 1 but nothing happen.
Always pray to Allah SWT! for betterness, if He bless u in this age (at this time) or a later on u couple should be thankful to Him and seek always well-wishes for your kidz.
moreover, Allah SWT! jis ko dena chahy to be-hisaab deta hay or jisay nahi to phir kuch bhi nahi.
Children are a blessing from Allah SWT but as adults, we humans are blessed with the brains and capability of making educated decisions.
Many couples have hte luxury of being satisfied with either having a child or not having a child (well up to a certain point). However, when a couple is practically dependent on everyone else for own basic needs, such as food and shelter due to not being able to work for a decent wage, making a conscious decision to have a child is VERY irresponsible and unfair to the child as well.
And for those couples, it was their choice and their kismet. I'm sure they didn't deliberately go And have abortions b/c they didnt want the child...
double
Agree with inspiron.. LK please stop spreading myths/old wives tales..
OP, ur mum is saying the birth control thing to scare u and cos it's in her interest to make out that it is fact.. in any case if she was just worried about eg. the pill and ur health or possible problems in trying to conceive later there are obviously other methods that aren't going to affect ur hormones at all which she could have suggested but didn't. (The pill is generally very safe tho, loads of info on contraception methods on GS anyway if u want to do a search)..
Bottom line is neither u or ur hubby is ready, be firm and don't let anyone pressurise u..
You will have a baby when Allah wills it. That said...remind your nagging in-laws and parents of this simple fact.:
"Aap ke baar baar kehnay se bacha faurun to nahin paida hoga. Yeh sab Allah ki marzi par depend karta hai."
Also explain to them babies are rather expensive...and as much as the grandparents would be happy to have one.....it's the PARENTS who will be raising it. And it's smart/practical planning to want to be financially secure before popping out babies.
They will prob just turn around and say 'Allah will provide' (conveniently forgetting Allah doesn't drop money from the sky.. the concept of 'tying ur camel' is alien to a lot of ppl)..