PCG...
Again you fail to respect anyones opinion which is different to yours...as i have said no-one is suggesting subjagating a woman into a lifestyle that she does not want...if a woman wants to be a career woman then so be it...its just **I **would settle down with someone whose priorities are her family life over career...im not saying this is right...it is just my requirement from a marriage partner...
And contrary to your posts speaking about violating these women and not letting women make their own decisions...thats not what was said so stop the nonsense...just like women make choices to be career women...women also make conscious choices to be a housewife...i know educated girls who are independent who are quite happy to be housewives as they dont want to have the burden of earning but would prefer to spend time with their children and family...they arent locked in the house...being a housewife is not a prison...its just freedom from having to earn which for some is a nice option...
So if **YOU **believe in being a career woman and getting married then that is fine...just realise that other people will disagree with you...just because they they dont hold your view doesnt make them shauvanistic or abusive husbands....
Neither I nor the other males have suggested that females **HAVE **to be a certain way...we have just suggested our own personal preference...i dont speak for all of mankind so others might agree with you...
"desis whose mommas are stay at home wives tend to be a bunch of pussies, lacking confidence and self sufficiency to operate in a dynamic world. For some odd reason they tend to be quite homely too."
I'm sure there are some girls who fit this bill but im also sure that a lot of these stay at home wives would disagree with you...there are plenty of girls who have operated in this dynamic world of yours with confidence and self sufficency but decide on a change of action when children arrive...not all housewives are weak, ignorant illiterates which you damn feminists seem to assume housewives to be...Just becuase **YOU **probably want to be a career woman doesnt make you better than these stay at home wives who probably would succeed better in the workplace than you as they dont possess such ignorance, narrowmindedness and arrogance as you clearly seem to possess
That’s fine, but I know that assuming that I have 2 children, I would most likely struggle to buy the kind of house for them to grow up in that my father had for my family to grow up in, whilst buying sufficiently high quality private education for them and being able to provide material luxuries for them.
The main problem is how much more more property costs these days than ever before. You have to take so much more of your salary to provide a roof for your family than ever before.
Between 1988 and 2005, my father’s salary did not double. BUt the value of the house we lived in did. Even assuming that inshallah I make the same amount of money as my father, I would be unable to afford that house like he could and could only afford a house in not as nice a neighbourhood, and not as nice a house too.
This means that only 2 options become available - provide a smaller house for my family than I was provided with by my father … or marry a career-minded woman, so as to double the income of the family and thus be able to make sure that it is as well provided for materially as I was.
One of the success criteria in my life is making sure that my family is as well provided for as I was when growing up. There is no way that can happen on my salary alone.
Psychologists have actually found the opposite to be true, the better the quality of the child’s early attachment (in the first 1-3 years of their life) to its primary caregiver (usually mother) the better his/her relationships will be later in life with their partner, their own children, friends and society at large.
The primary caregiver need not necessarily be the biological mother but there’s no substitute quite as good.
Some children’s turning out unsociable has nothing to do with their momma’s staying at home, it’s because they were usually not sent to nursery (or kindergarten as u Americans would call it) so they never quite learnt how to interact with others of their peer group, really at that age kids should be exposed to outsiders, it doesn’t work as well if you leave it till later…
If anyone’s a pussy it’s actually those preppy type kids whose mothers tend to have careers, poor bastrads grow up being used as punching bags and have nobody to turn to for help because there’s no proximity to their parents and their nanny is only concerned with her wages.
all you think about is money:( …what about love? loving your wife and children:( …you would not double income with a carrer wife, because women earn less than men, because you would have to pay for child care…because you would need one more car and gas, because you would need more ready made food, clothes…etc than your wife won’t do..and also maybe a cleaning servant…etc…well in other words, you would have to pay for all that your wife would not be able to do cause she is at work…and I almost forgot to add that you would have to pay more taxex too, because of more income:D i know women in france who stopped working, because they had more moeny at the end of month…than by going out for work!
The thing is, money buys good education for your children. Good education helps their chances of a good future. On my expected salary over time I could easily afford everything my father provided for my family, except the private education for the children.
If my wife earns less than men in her company, I’d encourage her to get a lawyer and sue for sexual discrimination Then we could both retire
Anyway… no need for 2 cars because it’s almost impossible for me to drive to work. No need for ready made food if we both share cooking responsibilities, all it would mean is losing some time on the weekends to cook the next week’s food together.
Cleaning servants aren’t that expensive. During the 2 years when my mother got bored of sitting at home with nothing to do and started working, we had claening servants come once every 2 weeks to thoroughly clean the place and it cost not at all that much at all.
And even after taxes, over 50% of our combined income would remain.
We should definitely talk about this topic every year. We will see that people's opinions change over time, depending on the part of life they are going through.
Anyway, some women are great at home and will be a misfit in the workforce, while others are great professionally or are better off working rather than being a bad influence on their children. There is no silver bullet and no wrong answers. Everyone should have it differently.
Aisha, there can be happy medium and I personally know a few who have achieved it. The point I was trying to make was that we humans are complex creatures and so are our cultures and therefore we can't use the same yard stick to evaluate everyone.
I have a class to go to but I will come back and write more.
What people don’t understand is that working and not-working are not clear cut categories.
I hate to see a human being just sitting at home doing nothing but changing diapers…for the rest of a kid’s life. Sure, before they’re ready to go to school, kids need someone who can be there for them at all times. But it doesn’t have to be JUST the mom. Why can’t guys change diapers? Why can’t men hold their baby and feed them? All the unmarried guys in this thread will be singing another tune when they become fathers, because there are only a few brutes out there that wont even touch their babies!
Baby will be born, and you’ll be sitting there playing with him/her/it and feeding with bottles and feeding khana and taking baby out for walks and to the playground etc etc. There is no rule that says Mommy has to be stuck next to baby for 24 hours of the day. This is some misconception that guys have which lead them to think that if a woman works, she’s a bad mother.
Secondly, there are lots of jobs one can do from the home. There are things a woman can do in society that don’t involve going to work all the time. Volunteering for example. Or being part of some social group, or coaching, or tutoring or painting or something or the other.
Its not necessary that “working mom” means a woman who is going to an office in a business suit and “honey, I can’t come home right now, my desk is swamped, can you change baby’s diapers?”
PCG what might bother you might not bother someone else.. I knw alot of girls who are very educated yet they feel its their responsibility to help grow a family.. and yes mom's love is always different from dad's love..
i knw that you are not going to agree with anything anyone else says but u will try ur level best to enforce ur opinions.. anyways i don't want to get into that discussion here.. relax ur kids ur choice to mess them up..
And what you're like way better? Don't tell me to relax. You're about as ignorant as you're telling me not to be, because YOU'RE the one that thinks that one way is actually detrimental while the other is not.
Working women DO NOT raise screw-ups, in virtue of the fact that the mom is working!
But anyone who doesn't agree with you, is going to be raising screw-ups right?
Those who think Moms should always stay at home have probably not known a single mother (by divorce or a widow etc.) who have children to take care of and feed. Or maybe those in Pakistan should ask if the lady that comes to work in their house, if she does it out of professional ambition or to feed her family? These women don't have a choice but to work. You can't point fingers at them and say they are 'bad mothers'.
Then there are those who do have a choice. There too we have mothers who were not brought up to be able to take care of children. One might argue it is their fault but I have come to realize that managing a house & bringing up children requires a skill set not necessarily natural to all women.
There are women who are working while they can be home spending quality time with their children. Their children miss them and they are great mothers and it is unfortunate that they aren't home. Same goes for Dads.
Basically my rambling is trying to make an argument towards the fact that women are very diverse and rather than limiting their roles we should expand them. We all have different circumstances and can't use the same formula to make us successful in life.
I agree.
The question is put in a wrong way. A woman has to take up different roles during her life and it is not appropriate to designate or presuppose that she has to be either a housewife of a career wife. Same goes for a woman. She has to understand that the balance is very important depending upon what her priorities are. She cannot evade some and adopt some.
Nature has made man and woman to “complement each other” not “Compete with each other” … Thats all I’d say…
PCG my mom is a working woman.. so please no personal attacks.. i never said that one way is better than the other.. all i am saying is that those moms who stay at home are not idiots or wasting their lifes..
thank you.. btw.. itni chiri howi na raha karo.. tumhari sehat kay liye acha nahi hai..
all you think about is money:( …what about love? loving your wife and children:( 
i know women in france who stopped working, because they had more moeny at the end of month…than by going out for work!
Look back at what you’ve written, kiddo.