My parents (my mother being a housewife) have persuaded me that careerwives are the way to go now, since inflationary pressures mean that a single man can’t provide as much for his family on his salary alone as used to be possible.
The trade-off is, of course, the risk of less parental attention for children.
Personally, I used to think that was a major factor in raising upright kids. But what I’ve ended up seeing more and more through my time at university was that the people I knew from families where both parents worked rarely seemed different in all regards from people where the mother was a full time housewife.
There's no law that says career women raise shiitty kids, nor do stay at home moms raise spoiled selfish brats. Anyway this topic has been discussed a million times, don't you get tired of the same ol arguments? :p
sara so what if it has been discussed. the man's probably got his mother breathing down his neck just like the rest of us and wants a second opinion.
ok mad_scientist... here is an idea. Go with an educated woman first and far most.... have her work for 2 yrs after wedding while u guys 'have fun' without kids. get all the travelling out of the way. then when she starts having kids she should stop working... have 2 or 3 kids in a row... bam bam bam. its more expensive to have a baby sitter anyway. then when kids are old enuff to go to school she can start working again.
Yeah that seems to be the best solution, work for a bit, take time off when bacchay r young.
However, while she's working, the hubby shud not expect a hot meal or all his laundry or the house to be clean clean the second he gets home. I used to talk to this guy and he said that he wanted his wife to work coz he cudn't afford to do it all alone, but he also wanted EVERYTHING to be ready for him by the time he got home, which I found ridiculous. When both partners work, it's upto both of them to take care of household duties together, split cooking, cleaning tasks etc. It's unfair of him to expect her to do everything WHILE she has a career outside the house as well.
I will leave that up to my wife. She will have the choice of either working (full or part time) or staying at home, it's her choice. It requires a bit of understanding from both parties.
If she works, I will not expect a hot meal at the table and my laundary folded when I get home.
If she doesn't work, she shouldn't expect me to go out of my way to buy her things just because her friends are in touch with the latest fashion and brand names.
^ You can turn the switch on and off like that with someone who works at a 7-Eleven. It's a whole different ball-game when the lady has a career oriented education and work.
oh gossh.. dont u see those guys that come on SHADI ONLINE and want a well educated wife while they are only FA or BA pass lolzz thats hillarious to me.. they want the wife to bring in all the dough... weird guys :p
If a women want to work after marriage, it is her right and she must not be restricted for any reason. On the other hand she has many duties on "her shoulders". It may be hard for her in some cases to perform her work and duties all together. But then "maariage is a compromise".
Working women think that housewives are good and vice verca........bas duur ke dhol sohanay....well i agree with lolly pop uncle a lil bit........ husband and wife shoud see both sides of the picture and whatever suits em....they should go for that side...whatever they think is easy for em to follow tou bas wohi theek hai.... lekin aurat ghar par hi achi lagti hai.....and then husband and kids need her attention......there is a true story of our famous pakistani female poetess i saw on TV.......she used to do both things......household and job......so she knew the hadships of life ...she used to forbid her kids to spend money and bla bla... and her husband (well quite satisfied as he ddint have to spend much on his house) used to spend money lavishly on kids and himself.......kids started liking their father.....and mother used to do alll the stuff.....job, cookery, laundry, billing ....she didnt have time for her kids...and in the end they left her and went abroad ..... i dont remember her name but she is really famous....
not all men or kids are like that but still......kids need attention and i think men marry girls to have someone to take care of em and their things......well this is my opinion...i know most of you dont agree........
It depends on your definition of career minded…if her life revolves around her career then i doubt id of ended up settling down with her…i cant imagine ever settling with an investment banker for instance because they prioritise certain things ie their career and their money over their partners and their family so id not settle for that…
I prefer a woman who works to live rather than someone who is ambitious…because when the burden of work is taken from them they have no problems…so admin assistant is a lot more preferable to an investment banker…I agree with everyone who says they would want their wife to stop working once children arrive…but obviously these children arrive when the wife feels she is ready to raise them…im sure the wife herself would want to spend more time with her child and raise them…we arent patriarchal for expecting you to raise your children…i assume thats something you want to do…i assume the issue is more to do with when you want to have children…or is that the case?..
ladies you tell me…if you had the choice between taking part in your childrens upbringing without any financial worry or working towards a career and leaving your child with some stranger nanny…what would you choose?..
if she stays home expect her to be like typical woman...
who will do following things.... talk about her inlaws...find out who is cooking what at their place today, find out who did what today blah blah and blah