Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
^ what?
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
what if raiser is screwed already !
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Is "raiser" a word?
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
^ nai
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Its okay man she can go and work all she want. I dont mind staying home and playing with the kids. woohooo
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
**
"What people don’t understand is that working and not-working are not clear cut categories.
I hate to see a human being just sitting at home doing nothing but changing diapers…for the rest of a kid’s life. Sure, before they’re ready to go to school, kids need someone who can be there for them at all times. But it doesn’t have to be JUST the mom. Why can’t guys change diapers? Why can’t men hold their baby and feed them? All the unmarried guys in this thread will be singing another tune when they become fathers, because there are only a few brutes out there that wont even touch their babies!
Baby will be born, and you’ll be sitting there playing with him/her/it and feeding with bottles and feeding khana and taking baby out for walks and to the playground etc etc. There is no rule that says Mommy has to be stuck next to baby for 24 hours of the day. This is some misconception that guys have which lead them to think that if a woman works, she’s a bad mother.
Secondly, there are lots of jobs one can do from the home. There are things a woman can do in society that don’t involve going to work all the time. Volunteering for example. Or being part of some social group, or coaching, or tutoring or painting or something or the other.
Its not necessary that “working mom” means a woman who is going to an office in a business suit and “honey, I can’t come home right now, my desk is swamped, can you change baby’s diapers?” "**
lol:confused:
…we keep having to go over this dont we…yes you are right working and non working are not clear cut and no-one made out that it was…
I dont understand why you seem to be attacking the working man now…
Suddenly i go to work and im a terrible father…contrary to your nonsense most men are quite happy to change diapers and enjoy holding their baby and feeding them…we have children because we want children…we have the ability to nurture and show affection too…but i guess in your mind every man is a brute who doesnt want to touch their kids…seriously grow up and think before you type:rolleyes:
And as for the rest of what you said…others and i have made clear that when we say housewife we dont mean its a prison…do you genuinely think we have relegated her to the confines of the home and not allowed her the freedom to leave the house?..no-one mentioned restricting her from activities like painting…no-one mentioned the mother sticking to her child for 24 hrs…no-one restricted her to anything…all that was said was that i wanted my wife to be a mother first…thats all…her priority should be raising her child…i amazingly have no qualms with her leaving the house and doing activities:rolleyes: …and to be honest i am not a samaritan for doing this…most men dont have a problem with this…
It seems that when you read replies…you fail to actually read what has been written…and just read what you want to want to be written…i request that you actually read some of the posts carefully before replying to them…then your comments wont look so silly…just some friendly advice…
**
“The idiots who claim working moms are bad moms are guys who haven’t talked to girls much yet, let alone actually have babies.”**
Lol:confused: and i thought your comments couldnt become sillier…what world do you live in?..no-ones claimed anything…people have stated personal preferences…MY preference is someone who puts her family first…fact is that an investment banker whose priority in life is a promotion as opposed to her children and family is a bad mother…becuase its not her priority…this is a career woman…now a single mother who works out of neccesity because she wants to provide for child is not a career woman…her priority is her child…and rearing it to the best of her ability is her priority…naturally in my case breadwinning would be my neccesity and i wouldnt burden my wife with that role(before you attack me, im not forcing my wife not to work…she genuinely wants to stay at home:rolleyes: )…and that for me is how I prefer things to be…this doesnt make me an idiot…
PCG…you live in a fantasy world where the woman is always a victim of the evil creatures that are man…you are very talented in creating stories based on this mystical world…if you want some advice i think should consider a career in fiction writing…it seems to be a speciality of yours and its a genuine field where you could probably succeed…
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Suddenly i go to work and im a terrible father...contrary to your nonsense most men are quite happy to change diapers and enjoy holding their baby and feeding them...we have children because we want children...we have the ability to nurture and show affection too...but i guess in your mind every man is a brute who doesnt want to touch their kids...seriously grow up and think before you type
And where did I say dads are terrible fathers if they work??
And as for the rest of what you said...others and i have made clear that when we say housewife we dont mean its a prison...do you genuinely think we have relegated her to the confines of the home and not allowed her the freedom to leave the house?...no-one mentioned restricting her from activities like painting...no-one mentioned the mother sticking to her child for 24 hrs...no-one restricted her to anything...all that was said was that i wanted my wife to be a mother first...thats all...her priority should be raising her child...i amazingly have no qualms with her leaving the house and doing activities ...and to be honest i am not a samaritan for doing this...most men dont have a problem with this...
Good, so then you're not against working moms. :~)
MY preference is someone who puts her family first...fact is that an investment banker whose priority in life is a promotion as opposed to her children and family is a bad mother...becuase its not her priority...this is a career woman...now a single mother who works out of neccesity because she wants to provide for child is not a career woman...her priority is her child...and rearing it to the best of her ability is her priority...naturally in my case breadwinning would be my neccesity and i wouldnt burden my wife with that role
What??? And who says that a female investment banker's priority is promotion?? Maybe you need to meet girls out there who work, rather than the hindu girl you're sleeping with!
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
** "A woman is not like a man. She doesn't get to choose. She follows her heart and that's what makes the map of her life. You love to work, and that's good. But to be a good wife and mother, that's a decision of the heart. If you don't feel it, you must not do it. You will be unhappy, and your children will be worse. THe unhappy man finds compensation outside of hte home. He works, he lives in the world, he can find joy outside of himself. But a woman builds the home, and if she is unhappy there, she suffers and her children suffer. Your mother wanted a big family. She had a picture of this house, her kitchen, her children long before she met me. She KNEW, you see. . . It was in her to be a mother, like it is in you to work. You're a happy girl because you have a happy mother, a mother who wants to be a mother. And I'm a happy husband because she's a good wife."--- * excerpt from Lucia, Lucia by Adriana Trigiani *
**Basically, if you're too lazy to read all that, it says that a happy woman makes a happy home. If shes happy having a career, she will make a happy home and raise happy kids and will find any way to make it work. If she's unhappy then it will be an unhappy home and family, whehter she works or stays at home.
Btw, u guys shud read this book...its striking exactly how similar two seemingly different cultures can be. Change the names and minor details like food and geography and this might as well be a novel about Pakistanis, written by a Pakistani. :)
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
"And where did I say dads are terrible fathers if they work?? "
You spoke about how men tend to leave their women at home because they are not willing to change diapers or in some cases touch their child...i disagreed with you...
"What??? And who says that a female investment banker's priority is promotion?? Maybe you need to meet girls out there who work, rather than the hindu girl you're sleeping with!"
And as for the investment banker...i wasnt referring solely to females...the fact is...investment bankers work long hours and their motivation in life tends to be money...im at university with the best econ students in the country and im speaking from their ambitions...the ones who dont want to do it say its because they want some kind of family life...the ones i know who want to do investment banking tend to be solely money minded and family doesnt really fit into their plans...so yeh i wouldnt marry one...as for the hindu jibe...thats unneccesary...
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
You spoke about how men tend to leave their women at home because they are not willing to change diapers or in some cases touch their child...i disagreed with you...
No, I did not say that. Read my post again for clarity of understanding. There was no "tend to" claim. I was actually saying that is not the case most of the time, and therefore, men will end up interacting more with their children to the point that the claim that mom needs to be there 24-7 is actually nullified.
And as for the investment banker...i wasnt referring solely to females...the fact is...investment bankers work long hours and their motivation in life tends to be money...im at university with the best econ students in the country and im speaking from their ambitions...the ones who dont want to do it say its because they want some kind of family life...the ones i know who want to do investment banking tend to be solely money minded and family doesnt really fit into their plans
How many of these females are desi? How many of them have a muslim mentality? Things change when religion factors into things - because then you can do whatever you want and money is NOT the main motivator, nor is it the priority in the woman's life.
Hence the "hindu" jibe. You need to meet more muslim women.
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
PCG…
If iv misunderstood anything then i apologise…
As for the other point…do you genuinely see anyone…be it male or female balancing certain jobs with family life?..investment banking was one career i mentioned but there are various careers which take up too much time for there to be a real family life whether it be with children or even with the spouse…a boy i knew that graduated this year doesnt want to get married till he retires…he 21 and on £40000 starting…hes intelligent enough to understand that you cant balance it all…and his priority right now is the money…im simply showing certain careers can be a detriment to someones home life…i dont think a male investment banker has genuine time for real relationships and certainly not children…someone who is not money minded would not do such a career as investment banking…Do we agree on this?
My point from the beginning is that i have no problem with women who work…i only have an issue with women who prioritise their work over their family…i have issues with men who do this too…have you understood my distinction between those who are career minded and a housewife?
And as for those wannabe investment bankers…you are right…many of them arent desi…desis generally will be quite happy not to have too demanding a role…and that is males too…one of my best friends does a top econ course but doesnt want a demanding job because he wants a family life…desis do take family seriously…thats why you see both males and females tend to take options which support this…
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
As for the other point...do you genuinely see anyone...be it male or female balancing certain jobs with family life?...investment banking was one career i mentioned but there are various careers which take up too much time for there to be a real family life whether it be with children or even with the spouse...a boy i knew that graduated this year doesnt want to get married till he retires...he 21 and on £40000 starting...hes intelligent enough to understand that you cant balance it all...and his priority right now is the money...im simply showing certain careers can be a detriment to someones home life...i dont think a male investment banker has genuine time for real relationships and certainly not children...someone who is not money minded would not do such a career as investment banking...Do we agree on this?
I'm not familiar with the field at all honestly, so I cant comment. But have u done extensive internships and investigated the matter with men and women working in the field? What are the options of working from home, or taking work home with you afterhours?
My point from the beginning is that i have no problem with women who work...i only have an issue with women who prioritise their work over their family...i have issues with men who do this too...have you understood my distinction between those who are career minded and a housewife?
Ah now we come to the heart of it. Men ALSO have the same problem of juggling family life and work. And yes, I've met some guys who do tell me that they're facing trouble deciding which career moves to take, because it will have an effect on family life. And yes, a father who is never home (I can attest to that - my father left for work at 7 am and came back at 11 or 12 at night) has a negative impact.
But its also about how you treat the subject. If you are at work, you can still communicate with your kid over the phone, and over email, and even have your kid at work with you for some hours of the day. You can also be strong and put your foot down to your employer that you will not be working until 10 pm at night when he himself is walking out conveniently at 5 pm to his family, unless you're getting paid a nice large sum for your extra work.
This is a societal problem that workplaces have to deal with on their own - there are plenty of jobs out there where employers KNOW and UNDERSTAND you have family to take care of as well. You just have to keep that in mind when you're in school and making career decisions.
This goes for BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. Simple.
What I have a problem with is boys who come on here and act as if the mom who goes to work is creating really big problems for the family, when really, its actually the dads who are really overworked and unable to manage their family life. When kid sees his/her dad is not THERE, then they'll do whatever to get away with things. They know they wont get disciplined, since daddy is just not around to care.
So lets accept work and its effects on family life is not something that women are facing alone, indeed. Daddy needs to be home with his family as well.
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
neva eva ..
neva evaaaa
neva evaaaaaaa
GET ON MA LEVEL lol
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
it’s like u read my mind…i think that ^^^ is the best way to go…that way the girl gets the best of both worlds. She gets her education, she gets to make use of it by having her career…and than after kids she can stay home raise them …it’s perfect.
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
good point…nowadays housewife doesnt have the same meaning it had yrs ago. A house wife doesnt have to stay home just cooking and cleaning. She can get involved with her children..take them out on play dates..be a soccer mom (inshallah i cant wait), be a part of the child’s PTA at school. Also i think it’s a great idea to have a home business. You can have ur career and keep a close eye on ur kids…if u can afford it perhaps u can even hire a mother’s helper…someone who can assist u with the kids while ur there with them.
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Ok i will say marry a educated lady, after marriage if u wanted her to work then allow her otherwise ask her to be house wife :)
ofcourse like a good hubby u should ask the wifey as well, wat she wants to do :)
i
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
I dont agree with the theory that a career-woman cannot carry both responsiblities or a house wife cannot work. It all depends on how much man is willing to cooperate.
What I would choose? well Ideally I would like to go with whatever she decides.
Re: For the guys: Housewife or Careerwife
Both...First she should do her career in office & then do her career at home....