Re: For married people
In happier days, its fun to advocate "dont put the responsibility on the child" . When the time comes to decide to forego wishes and ego , you look at the child and decide to sacrifice yourself and try to make the best of the situation, rather then create a single parent scenario for the child. Unless of course there is a strong reason like what Muzna said , abuse is a very valid reason where one can walk away without any guilt.
But in a marriage , where a child is safe with the other parent, is enjoying a healthy upbringing between the couple, there are women out there who will let go of their will and wish and what not , to win it all for their child.
Like I said, when you get in the boat, you wont think you are putting a burden on the child, you would also not think it as unethical, you will see this as quite fulfilling and you will see yourself as someone who is protecting your child's best interest in every way possible.
PS: walking away out of a troubled marriage which is only troubled not abusive , is the easiest route a woman can take. What is unethical is the children having to yearn for either a mother or a father after the custody battles get going.
There are different relationships along the spectrum:
One end - the couple love/adore each other and the children truly are a bond that strengthen their relationship
Other extreme end - couple cannot tolerate one another and truly have no caring, empathy or concern for one another and are together only for the sake of the children.
I think most people who speak of staying together - their relationship is somewhere in between.
My comment is focussed on those people who do not like or care for one another and any love or respect or affection for one another is long gone. For this category of couple, staying together because it is in the best interest of their children is often a cop-out. The children sense and realize that the parents do not like each other and the child becomes victim of a dysfunctional relationship - many times playing referree between his/her parents. I think my major objective in the comment is that for those that say we are together for the sake of the children - they need to find a way to like and care for their spouse and see the positive attributes. They may never be madly in love, but respect, concern and affection and even better friendship go a long way.
Like I said earlier, it is a burden on the child(ren) to know that but for them, the parents wouldn't be together - it's not healthy.
^Four years into the marriage and this is starting to make sense to me and I am not even a mother. Unless the relationship is abusive, it's worth trying to make it work! What's the point of prolonging arguments and fights? What good will come out of it? Say what you feel and truly try to understand your other half's point of view. The problem is people don't want to make relationships work anymore. They are busy in self-victimization tactics and focusing on what's wrong.
^ This! If you're committed to the relationship for whatever reason - then make an effort to make the relationship work. Why be unhappy?