If you haven't figured it out by now, will a couple of days left till your wedding really matter? Just tell him your going hiatus till the wedding because you feel bad about the conversations and want to make it more special for the wedding. If you word it maturely it won't come off as rude (or shouldn't if he's understanding), just tell him honestly how you feel. Hopefully he'll respect that, if not then maybe you should just be more stern but still nice. You will after all be marrying him in a matter of days. You can only control your actions but if your saying the right things I don't see why he would be offended.
I think this is a pretty good idea. As some others have suggested, I've been toying with the idea of cutting all communication till the wedding. Let's see if I can convince him to play along.
Siren - With the wedding being in less than 4 weeks, I think its useless for you to worry about this at this point. You've put up with it for months already.....so at this point, just let it go. Both of you are equally to blame for this. Its childish for you to ignore him for a few hours. I don't know details of your wedding planning but most desi brides I know are SUPER busy in the weeks leading up to the wedding with last minute preparations. If possible, use that as an excuse to avoid having long conversations. Simply tell him you're busy with family or friends doing things for the wedding.
Or here's another idea....instead of having everything "planned" together....tell HIM to plan the wedding night and honeymoon and to surprise you with his creativity. As for lingerie....again, simply tell him that you won't have time go shopping for it before the wedding (which is in a few WEEKS) which makes talking about it useless, give him your size and tell him he can buy whatever he wants to see you in & surprise you with it.
Brilliant! I'm definitely using that next time the topic of lingerie comes up!
girls first make fuss out of such things & than 1 week before marriage they start a thread in wedding forum regarding wedding night ...... oohh gaawwddd can someone help me out pleaseeee ( even though fiance tried to make her comfortable before but nooooooo ) I am soooooooo scared .... what will happen .... I am not comfortable at alllll ...... we didn't even talk about such things before marriage ...... ohh nooooo ..... what to wear .....bla bla bla .....
When you guys are gonna get married in the end so why are you worried? It's not like you're doing this with your BF whom you know you wont marry. Girls sometimes make such a big deal out of nothing. Please don't say after your married that "Oh my husband likes to touch me and mujey gud-gudiyan (Tickles) hoti hain".
Don't be a hater. Just because most guys have sex on their brains 24/7 (or every 7 seconds according to some pseudo-studies) doesn't mean that all girls do too. Plus its supposedly painful for the girl so ofcourse she'd be apprehensive. That does NOT mean that we go hysterical on the wedding night.
i would think a balance is good (as in its ok to say i'm excited for the big night but beyond that if the guy's too keen on what you'll wear or what positions he wants to try is going a bit overboard. discussing it too much and psyching yourselves out will take away the actual magic and the spontaneity of it. try telling him that.
Don't be a hater. Just because most guys have sex on their brains 24/7 (or every 7 seconds according to some pseudo-studies) doesn't mean that all girls do too. Plus its supposedly painful for the girl so ofcourse she'd be apprehensive. That does NOT mean that we go hysterical on the wedding night.
Woah woah buddy, I am not a hater. All I'm saying that everyone should know the basics of sex, if you don't try hard enough to learn even the sex-ed then you fail at being a human.
i would think a balance is good (as in its ok to say i'm excited for the big night but beyond that if the guy's too keen on what you'll wear or what positions he wants to try is going a bit overboard. discussing it too much and psyching yourselves out will take away the actual magic and the spontaneity of it. try telling him that.
lmao. It hasn't actually come to discussing the positions yet, but yea I get what you're saying.
On that note, I actually brought up the idea of going on a hiatus for a couple of weeks before the wedding. As suggested by some people on this thread, I emphasized the fact that it would make the wedding night more romantic. He countered it with "We'll stop talking after next week..."
I happily agreed, but I think that kind of backfired, since now he goes "Thori flirting to karlainey do... Is haftay kay baad to baat bhi nahin kar sakengay" and that always leads to some racy subjects, which I'll admit are intriguing but I'm left feeling guilty afterwards...
Woah woah buddy, I am not a hater. All I'm saying that everyone should know the basics of sex, if you don't try hard enough to learn even the sex-ed then you fail at being a human.
My post may have come off sounding more more vehement than I'd meant to be. But seriously, I don't get what your point is. Most people learn about sex while growing up. In North America especially, this knowledge usually extends significantly beyond just the "basics". That does not mean you have to talk the subject to death. As a very good friend once told me: Sex is something you do, and talking about it incessantly is not going to make you any better at it or make it any less awkward.
Frankly OP, I think you're being a bit of a prude and making an issue out of a non-issue. You two are about to be married, you two are obviously attracted to each other, you two are obviously looking forward to being intimate with each other. So you're having a few racy chats, what's the big deal? You'll be his and he yours in less than a month? I say throw caution to the wind and enjoy the build up to the big night. Nothing wrong with it.
The other route you can take if your unnecessary guilt is weighing down on you too much is to tell him coyly that you want to stop all communication until the big day/night because 1) you want to spend your last few weeks fully immersed with your family that you're about to leave and 2) you want to be the big night to be EXPLOSIVE after denying yourselves the opportunity to even talk.
Either way, this is an exciting time for you two, relax and enjoy, don't over think things, that's how things get ruined.
Hey Siren! Just try to cut all communication and such talks. If I were in your position, I would be soooo awkward as well. You both will have lifetime to talk about every thing under the Sun, so well keep it till after shaadi! ;)
Don't be a hater. Just because most guys have sex on their brains 24/7 (or every 7 seconds according to some pseudo-studies) doesn't mean that all girls do too. Plus its supposedly painful for the girl so ofcourse she'd be apprehensive. That does NOT mean that we go hysterical on the wedding night.
Cue one year later and I see another thread by you on how husband is "disinterested" and he allegedly might be having an affair. Keep up this tirade about sex (dirty dirty)... :D
Admit it that you found it "hot" (women are attention seekers that way) and now you are trying to be all paak saaf for you pseudo-zameer before marriage.
Hey Siren! Just try to cut all communication and such talks. If I were in your position, I would be soooo awkward as well. You both will have lifetime to talk about every thing under the Sun, so well keep it till after shaadi! ;)
Thanks rosedreams. It's so nice to have someone who understands! :)
Trying to do the conversation hiatus now... starting next week actually. Just have to make sure neither of us "cheats" :P
Cue one year later and I see another thread by you on how husband is "disinterested" and he allegedly might be having an affair. Keep up this tirade about sex (dirty dirty)... :D
Admit it that you found it "hot" (women are attention seekers that way) and now you are trying to be all paak saaf for you pseudo-zameer before marriage.
Way to generalize buddy. Keep it up and you'll be wedded (we women are contrary and like men who are bad for us), bedded (just because it is what it is) and divorced (we women are not all too-stupid-to-live) in no time at all! I wish you the best of luck :D
i would think a balance is good (as in its ok to say i'm excited for the big night but beyond that if the guy's too keen on what you'll wear or what positions he wants to try is going a bit overboard. discussing it too much and psyching yourselves out will take away the actual magic and the spontaneity of it. try telling him that.
Its not usually men who take the spontaneity out of sex. Just saying.
Way to generalize buddy. Keep it up and you'll be wedded (we women are contrary and like men who are bad for us), bedded (just because it is what it is) and divorced (we women are not all too-stupid-to-live) in no time at all! I wish you the best of luck :D
You should be thanking me that I ran an ABCD noor clinic for you here!
Don't be a hater. Just because most guys have sex on their brains 24/7 (or every 7 seconds according to some pseudo-studies) doesn't mean that all girls do too. Plus its supposedly painful for the girl so ofcourse she'd be apprehensive. That does NOT mean that we go hysterical on the wedding night.
