My husband and i are going to Pak for the first time since we got married a year ago. His parents were here for rukhsati and valima but i will be meeting his family for the first time as his wife, after the wedding. They live near Pindi/Isb (dont want to say the name of the town). What should i expect on a first inlaws visit? I am a very bubbly, chirpy person (i think!) and already have a good phone-relationship with devars and nands. I still want to make a good impression. What are somethings to be expected and big no-nos? I know i need to act myself etc etc but some experiences will be most welcome.
Also what is the weather like in Pindi/Isb these days? Can i wear normal silk type shalwar kameez or should i take some winter clothing (lelan sp?). Am i to act like a new bride or an older one ? Sorry this may sound silly but i need some advice, experiences etc.
its normally very very cold near isb so def winter clothing... other than that, take sum fancy clothes too as they weren't present at your wedding so they would wanna see you as a newly-wed :=)
taking some presents for close relatives i.e. hubby's sis n bros would be good.
Ira, go with good expectations. If you treat them like your family and not your husband's family, they will get positive vibes from you and in turn, they will accept you with open arms, Insha'Allah. Be relaxed. And have lots of fun!
i'd say the same things i think u should still act like a new bride since u are going to be new to them, definately take lelan or get new when u go there, and take some gifts to facilitate the relationship.
My husband and i are going to Pak for the first time since we got married a year ago. His parents were here for rukhsati and valima but i will be meeting his family for the first time as his wife, after the wedding. They live near Pindi/Isb (dont want to say the name of the town). What should i expect on a first inlaws visit? I am a very bubbly, chirpy person (i think!) and already have a good phone-relationship with devars and nands. I still want to make a good impression. What are somethings to be expected and big no-nos? I know i need to act myself etc etc but some experiences will be most welcome.
Also what is the weather like in Pindi/Isb these days? Can i wear normal silk type shalwar kameez or should i take some winter clothing (lelan sp?). Am i to act like a new bride or an older one :D ? Sorry this may sound silly but i need some advice, experiences etc.
Believe me, anything "first" after a wedding, still means the bride is new...even if months or even years have passed. Besides, your rukhsati was only this year, so even though the nikkah was a year ago, most ppl in pak count from time of rukhsati. If there are alot of families there, expect a lot of dinner invitations. New brides are always expected to be dressed up, even if just at home; more so (fixed hair, makeup, jewelery, clothes etc) when going out. I think the weather there should be OK for you to wear all ur clothes, just not summer clothes...
Hey, you're still a new bride. :D Well, leave all your old clothes here and make new and stylish dresses from latest fashion when you go there. You have to dress up 24/7...!! :D I can't give you any advice on how to act but I'd assume you just be yourself and enjoy while you're there and try to build a stronger relationship with your susraal. :)
.. bring lots of candies, chocolates etc. for the little ones in the family....first thing u wanna hear from all the little ones that new aunty is excellent :D.. i am sure none of the ammas in the family will disapprove you if you will give little extra attention to their kids...
yes.. u r new bride... must act like a new bride...
Thanks for the responses guys. After reading comments here and actually listening to my husband, i took out all my old, preshadi clothes out and packed some new, semi-formal, nice casual ones. I guess i will have to take my cue from ones around me when i am tehre. The kids are definetly excited to see their new mami. And i think i will be expected to cook something for everyone, like a sample. I am terrified!
assuming that your in laws are punjabi...no offense intended but take jewelery. for the first time relativves and friends are going to see you you should be wearing your bangles and jewelery....ask your MIL for advice on how big things should be but do take stuff. take nice clothes..it will be cold so sweaters/shawls and no sandles.
One thing i noticed this year, real sona isn't as important to be wearing all the time, u can wear any type of jewelery you want when going out, like those big huge earrings or sets...
As I told you before, it's cold in Punjab so bring lelan shelan and some warm sweaters, shawls.. last but not least, make sure you wear your gold churiyan (at least 6 or kangan shangan), that's a must for punjabi's (trust me ;).
ps: don't forget to bring your recipe book and measuring cup/spoon if you have to cook. :p
it is very cold in islo , very chilly and icy i wud say so make sure u take shawl , sweaters and a coat for when you go out. also some good shoes nt d open type. trus me its freezin. newayz u have onli been married for a year so do take all ur fancy clothes as for them u r still d nayee dulhan. i dont think u need to overly dressed when ur at home a nice suit everyday plus some mke up and earring n stuff is fine. yeh d whole dolling up for dawats n stuff.
anyways have fun and dont b nervous their just humans too , treat them as if u wud treat ur family and everything will b fine.
I would take warm clothes, some fancy outfits, and semi fancy outfits for any outings/dinner parties. Bring some gold jewelry, but also bring costume jewelry that you like, feel comfortable with. Do what feels good to you. Take cute shoes as well as comfy shoes. Hmm take presents for immediate family, esp if you know what they like. But do not go overboard, cuz then your setting up high expectations. Anyways be yourself, and be sweet & kind and I am sure you will be fine.
Now I don't know how long you are going for, but if its a short visit, I doubt they would ask you to cook. Esp since you are visiting 1st time, and to them you are new bride, most likely they won't let you do much, but still try to offer to help out doing anything. You'll be fine. If your ever confused about anything, just ask hubby or refer it to hubby as he knows his family best.
well you are definitely a new dulhan, you've only been married a year and its the first time they are seeing you! (i remember my mami met my mom 8 years after my parents got married and she was like, well i know you've been married for a while (you dont say :) ) but since its my first time meeting you, im still going to give you your moo-dikhai, and she did!)
i would take some real jewelry-- churian and one or two lightish, versatile sets, a couple heavy dresses and lots of semi formal stuff, plus linen suits, or you could pack fewer of each and buy more dresses there depending on how often you wear stuff like this back here
and definitely take presents for your closest in-laws and chocolates and small gifts for kids and other relatives
dress up and enjoy your time there, im sure you will be going to lots of dawats, its a once in a lifetime experience so enjoy it!
hope you have a great trip!!
Thanks for the advice girls. I dont have nice warm shalwar suits so i am going to buy them there. Rest, i am taking most of my gold jewellery since i know punjabis like to see lots of gold (amelie, no offense taken, we both belong to punjabi families and realise how things are).
Also thanks for the good wishes everyone, much appreciated. Hopefully i will have some nice stories to share when i come back.
assuming that your in laws are punjabi...no offense intended but take jewelery. for the first time relativves and friends are going to see you you should be wearing your bangles and jewelery....ask your MIL for advice on how big things should be but do take stuff. take nice clothes..it will be cold so sweaters/shawls and no sandles.
Good point!! i'm married into punjabis but really had no idea that i was supposed to wear all my sonay k haar chooriyan etc after shadi whether they go with my outfits or not but i remember at a wedding one of the aunties was shocked to see that i had no gold on me n how come i wasn't wearing the most heaviest of a dress....I was quite offended coz firstly it should be a personal choice and not a requirement plus what if someone can't afford 6 gold k kare or chooriyan?
Anyways, don't be shocked if someone asks about what things or how much gold you were given in your jahez....Be sure to wear all your gold jewelry so they don't bug you ! :)
yourfriend, i know how to cook, but MaashaAllah he has a huge family and i have never in my life cooked for a huge crowd. His parents stayed with us for a while and really appreciated that i could cook both desi and non desi so its not a big deal. But i realise i will be expected to make something sinc emy MIL told everyone i can cook really well. Bummer!
? Sorry this may sound silly but i need some advice, experiences etc.