How would you approach your future wife to be or husband to be about having kids? In the most halal way possible. After all you are going to marry this person, you gotta know what she/he thinks about kids. Right? shoot.
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
Well, halal way would be to start like this..
Aaoozobillahe....
Amma baa'd. Yaa Begum-e-mustaqbil, insha'Allah anqareeb nikkah wa rukhsati pattaakhaz and biryaniz. Baa'd tohfa tahaayef, kiyaa pilaan aapkay? Yak, du, teen chotay chotay bachay YAA awwallun live like romance and muhabbattun and then aik durjun bachay hoyun?
Re: Fiance and ‘future’ related topics
Re: Fiance and ‘future’ related topics
@ funguy
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
Why would it not be halaal to just ask "so how many children would you like to have?"
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
Mama, because some of my desi brothers are overtly shy (or pretend to be) and are more comfortable with bringing up silly questions in front of random strangers than having an adult conversation with their significant others. This is the direct result of excessive segregation between the sexes in our land of the Pak.
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
So true aahmed.
CP. Just talk to her.
Financial issues are the number 1 reason for divorce.
Does she know you don't want her to work?
How is your paycheck gonna be handled? You plan on giving your paycheck to your mom?
Will you give her an allowance and if so how much?
Are you going to be the typical paki fitnati who does not pay up haqmehr upfront?
Kids: birth control? What forms?
How many kids? Rules for girls vs. Boys? Dress code for kids?
You'd be surprised at what answers you get from people.
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
my GOODness man. So they promise the rest of their lives without even this most basic of discussions? Even if too shy to ask then sheesh, have your parents find out. Imagine, you want 2 kids. But on the wedding night, you find out that your spouse wants to have 8 minimum. Or wants none at all, no way no how.
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
If it helps. my fiance asked me over chat. He says he wants 5 kids!
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
you should add one more "b" to your nick
or ask your date ha
lol
Re: Fiance and ‘future’ related topics
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
LOL at funguy, you actually made me laugh out loud with that one.
Okay so why isnt it okay to simply ask how many kids she would like to have? That is not halal? Its important because not everyone wants a lot of children. Some people dont want more then 1 or 2 and then some - like myself - want at least 4 Inshallah. Some people only want their own children to raise and then some want to adopt someday regardless of how many they have bioligically. We all have different ideas when it comes to our future lives.
There is nothing scandelous about it, you're not talking about sex...you're discussing children.
Well, halal way would be to start like this..
Aaoozobillahe.... Amma baa'd. Yaa Begum-e-mustaqbil, insha'Allah anqareeb nikkah wa rukhsati pattaakhaz and biryaniz. Baa'd tohfa tahaayef, kiyaa pilaan aapkay? Yak, du, teen chotay chotay bachay YAA awwallun live like romance and muhabbattun and then aik durjun bachay hoyun?
^^^ HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA lolzzzz
my hubby asked me after nikkah but I think this question should be asked before.
I dont think there is halaal or haraam way of asking all you do is you say mere khayaal se if we are potentially to get married we should be open with each other isliye main jaan na chaahunga k bachon k baarey mein aapki (aapke) kya philosophy/(khayaalaat hain) hai ...?
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
^^ he's just pulling your leg :)
hahahahha looool
Mama, because some of my desi brothers are overtly shy (or pretend to be) and are more comfortable with bringing up silly questions in front of random strangers than having an adult conversation with their significant others. This is the direct result of excessive segregation between the sexes in our land of the Pak.
Well said ahmed bhai :p
Re: Fiance and 'future' related topics
Funguy, you're hilarious.