Feminine Charms

[Gaia]

Re: Feminine Charms

@CM

Pregnant woman. Old lady. lady with kids? Yes I give up my seat. A woman alone between 18 and 40. Screw her she can stand.

You’re such a gentlemen, you

[Pepsi_ki_Botal]

Re: Feminine Charms

@chaibiskut

So does feminine charm include ‘dumbing down?’ I’ve seen that work for women, too. (A man being more likely to respond to a woman who is somewhat challenged upstairs yet cheerfully unperturbed about the same). I think this boils down to power politics. I read this somewhere : “To admit the necessity of seduction is to admit that one has not the strength to command.” It’s a tactic of the weak, when direct confrontation is not an option. We witness it play out in domestic scenarios (wives trying to grab power in an imbalanced relationship), in war (guerillas scheming, avoiding open warfare), at the UN (developing countries manipulating soft power, compromising dignity, kissing behind in order to get heard).

Maybe this is partly to do with the fact that women are generally raised to compel affection rather than respect. Femininity is associated with soft, non-confrontational power achieved by seduction, charm, flirtation.

spot on.

I don’t know WHY a woman is supposed to be dumb, khekekhe, loud, and obnoxious these days. ARGH. (we have the immature, irresponsible men too, but that’s another topic.)

@Wane

beyond me how its okay with pretty much every woman here.

women are weird people. always wanting to have their cake and eat it to. ALWAYS.

did you miss my reply

[inspiron]

Re: Feminine Charms

Why do people thing pouting, giggling and showing flesh is charming?? There is a difference beating sexualising yourself and being charming.

[ehl-e-chamman]

Re: Feminine Charms

@CM

Yeah women would never think is wrong Yet the same women would complain about fair treatment and stuff. Let me make this clear you are using your gender to get beneficial treatment. That is not empowering or emancipating. Its actually degrading.

You are using your gender as a crutch and then you ***** about equal treatment.

Desi women: Screwing over feminism for decades.

@Wane

beyond me how its okay with pretty much every woman here.

women are weird people. always wanting to have their cake and eat it to. ALWAYS.

not EVERY woman.
read before you generalize please.

[redvelvet]

Re: Feminine Charms

I’d be an even better gentlemen…I’d allow the 18-40 age group of women sit on my lap :halo:

Wait no, that’s pushing it…make the limit 35.

^That said…just look at these men who don’t miss a beat in criticizing women and accusing them having penis envy…and then cannot do a thorough job with doing justice to their own gender. Tut tut tut

[uzair1]

Re: Feminine Charms

Makes sense. But you've addressed that which wasn't raised. I quoted something that suggested women seduce because they cannot command, not that seduction is rocket science, or that it doesn't occur organically, or that men won't respond to it.

Men do employ charm with women (because they know it works), but they don't have to. You could argue women rely on charm because there's a lack of perceived alternative, or a lack of capability to engage as an equal. How we project influence over others reveals a power dynamic. Just like the answer to the question "Would you rather be loved/considered attractive vs respected" is telling.

the availability of an apparently easy and convenient choice/route/strategy 'spoils' them and kills the incentive to fight it out as equals in a harsh world. This is not to say that there are no hurdles for women (in a workplace context) and so there is lack of perceived alternative as well. But as the world becomes more equal and fair to the sexes, womens power would manifest in both ways. They could decide which route they want to take.

Men employ charm with women? i dont know. because i havent seen men who were giggly, agreeable, and dumb getting their way around with women, but they surely dont employ sexuality (barring exceptions)

btw, do you think women have the same 'patronizing instinct' towards men that can spoil them?

[hareem01]

Re: Feminine Charms

@uzair1

the availability of an apparently easy and convenient choice/route/strategy ‘spoils’ them and kills the incentive to fight it out as equals in a harsh world. This is not to say that there are no hurdles for women (in a workplace context) and so there is lack of perceived alternative as well. But as the world becomes more equal and fair to the sexes, womens power would manifest in both ways. They could decide which route they want to take.

Men employ charm with women? i dont know. because i havent seen men who were **giggly, agreeable, and dumb getting their way around with women, **but they surely dont employ sexuality (barring exceptions)

btw, do you think women have the same ‘patronizing instinct’ towards men that can spoil them?

dude you have a messed up understanding of male charm.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

@redvelvet

I’d be an even better gentlemen…I’d allow the 18-40 age group of women sit on my lap :halo:

Wait no, that’s pushing it…make the limit 35.

^That said…just look at these men who don’t miss a beat in criticizing women and accusing them having penis envy…and then cannot do a thorough job with doing justice to their own gender. Tut tut tut

You obviously aren’t a guy. You give your lap only to women of a certain standing. Not just any woman. A guys lap is not a public bus. Tsk tsk…

[redvelvet]

Re: Feminine Charms

You obviously aren't a guy. You give your lap only to women of a certain standing. .

Yup, to all those who are standing, lol

Ok, so I take it that you're referring more to social standing...as in who that woman is, right? And don't you think that "standing" encompasses a broad range.....from hooker/stripper....to girlfriend.....to something more respectful such as a wife....to a choti si bachi.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

Standing refers to certain numbers and certain assets. Its all rather algebra based so it would be hard to explain.

[redvelvet]

Re: Feminine Charms

Standing refers to certain numbers and certain assets. Its all rather algebra based so it would be hard to explain.

I don't think that the point I made is wrong either.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

Its 7 am. I am in no mood for a serious discussion. I slept 4 hours :(

As for your point. I stand by mine, its more manly :D

[redvelvet]

Re: Feminine Charms

^I did not want to have a serious discussion with you. I don't even see it as a discussion.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

Ouch. Seems most desi women have that reactions. Goris not so much. But then again desi women are downtrodden and nazuq. They need to reach the necessary algebric standing.

[redvelvet]

Re: Feminine Charms

@CM

They need to reach the necessary algebric standing.

So, do you. You’re short some certain numbers and assets yourself.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

I make up for it all with wit and charm. And we both know you know that to be true :D

[hareem01]

Re: Feminine Charms

[muqawwee123]

Re: Feminine Charms

@redvelvet

Someone told me about how one of her friends was in an abusive marriage that she often complained about. Anyhow the woman wanted these diamond earrings and her husband had refused and she offered him the “best sex” ever…though she was miserable with him. She worked..and could eventually save up and get em herself. I wondered where her pride went…story really turned me off…it was sort of comical too how a pair of earrings can just make everything okay, lol.This thread brought that story to mind. For smaller things…I don’t really care. But for more serious situations…the manipulation makes me sick.

So Earrings and other ornaments (zevar) are like ‘Paon ki Zanjeer’ for a woman. I remember a poem from Gulzar, where he expressed different things in which relationship between a man and woman is bonded.

[chaibiskut]

Re: Feminine Charms

the availability of an apparently easy and convenient choice/route/strategy 'spoils' them and kills the incentive to fight it out as equals in a harsh world.

Mind you, feminine wiles aren't always premeditated. Some women don't know how to relate to a man any other way. Factor in cultural/social conditioning (Cosmo's 10-ways-to-drive-men-crazy lists). I wouldn't confine the use of charm to one sex, and I'd also expand the definition to include kissing ass/flattery to achieve ends (common in the workplace). But yes, it's true that most women don't have to try. On planes somebody will always offer to lift my baggage into the overhead bin before I've even found my seat. It's usually a white dude though. Desi males, the attractive beasts, will chew gum and watch me struggling with a 70 lb suitcase before falling over. They're not being dicks, they just don't want to give themselves a hernia.

Sure men employ charm. Strategically. The target has to be receptive though. Remember the scene in You've got Mail, where Tom flirts with the female cashier so she'll agree to run Meg's credit card in a cash-only line? He lowered his voice to a suggestive baritone, gave her that look, and smiled. It's no secret flirtation works. Personal anecdotes include guys I've worked with who brought on the smolder because they wanted something (no, not that). Did I relent? No, but I enjoyed the show b/c women are sexual objectifiers too (look, if you're working it, who am I to deny you an enthralled audience). Seduction ranges from the undiscernably subtle to the crude, and sexuality informs almost everything we do. It's not a gender blind world.

As for patronizing instincts, that's an interesting discussion. CM said something about self degradation earlier which I agree with. Yet upon closer inspection it's the woman actively patronizing the man when she operates with the belief that his brain is not located in his skull. Yeah I think I just went there.

[CM]

Re: Feminine Charms

So a woman uses the man's other brain so to speak to get things done. I am wondering if its insulting to a man or a commentary on a woman's self esteem that she can not compete like equals when it comes to such matters and must employ the potential for sexual favours as their best method to get the job done.