Someone told me about how one of her friends was in an abusive marriage that she often complained about. Anyhow the woman wanted these diamond earrings and her husband had refused and she offered him the "best sex" ever....though she was miserable with him. She worked..and could eventually save up and get em herself. I wondered where her pride went....story really turned me off...it was sort of comical too how a pair of earrings can just make everything okay, lol.This thread brought that story to mind. For smaller things...I don't really care. But for more serious situations....the manipulation makes me sick.
Someone told me about how one of her friends was in an abusive marriage that she often complained about. Anyhow the woman wanted these diamond earrings and her husband had refused and she offered him the "best sex" ever....though she was miserable with him. She worked..and could eventually save up and get em herself. I wondered where her pride went....story really turned me off...it was sort of comical too how a pair of earrings can just make everything okay, lol.This thread brought that story to mind. For smaller things...I don't really care. But for more serious situations....the manipulation makes me sick.
now this one was really a bad situation. after all self esteem has more value
What do you think of women using their feminine charms with men to get their way or get what they want. I am not talking about wrapping husband around finger.
Im talking more about - getting a better table at a restaurant, avoiding being told off by boss or lecturer, getting free things etc etc.
I admit me and my friends when are out as a group do use mild flirtation to get a good table at a restaurant.
I don't think its wrong to use feminine charm to get what you want.
Someone told me about how one of her friends was in an abusive marriage that she often complained about. Anyhow the woman wanted these diamond earrings and her husband had refused and she offered him the "best sex" ever....though she was miserable with him. She worked..and could eventually save up and get em herself. I wondered where her pride went....story really turned me off...it was sort of comical too how a pair of earrings can just make everything okay, lol.This thread brought that story to mind. For smaller things...I don't really care. But for more serious situations....the manipulation makes me sick.
This would be fun and totally fine if the marriage is perfect, me thinks.
This would be fun and totally fine if the marriage is perfect, me thinks.
If the marriage is a healthy one...then yeah that's a different case.
Although..it's one of those situations where I don't think it's so black and white. Sometimes manipulation (even in a healthy relationship) can be good and sometimes it can be harmful.
In pakistan they don't even need to use charms..........only thing required to get preferential treatment is to be ''ladizz''
haha SO true. I was going to reply that I dont know about feminine charms but I have gotten away with a lot more since I am a female in pakistan. I dont even have to do anything, Im female and people are just nicer to females. Bus
Yeah women would never think is wrong Yet the same women would complain about fair treatment and stuff. Let me make this clear you are using your gender to get beneficial treatment. That is not empowering or emancipating. Its actually degrading.
You are using your gender as a crutch and then you ***** about equal treatment.
So does feminine charm include 'dumbing down?' I've seen that work for women, too. (A man being more likely to respond to a woman who is somewhat challenged upstairs yet cheerfully unperturbed about the same). I think this boils down to power politics. I read this somewhere : "To admit the necessity of seduction is to admit that one has not the strength to command." It's a tactic of the weak, when direct confrontation is not an option. We witness it play out in domestic scenarios (wives trying to grab power in an imbalanced relationship), in war (guerillas scheming, avoiding open warfare), at the UN (developing countries manipulating soft power, compromising dignity, kissing behind in order to get heard).
Maybe this is partly to do with the fact that women are generally raised to compel affection rather than respect. Femininity is associated with soft, non-confrontational power achieved by seduction, charm, flirtation.
Guys are just more prone to being extra nice to girls than the other way around. Most of the time girls don’t even try. Like I’ll get on the bus not minding standing for like 15 mins because its full, and some guy will give me his seat for no reason. Or yesterday I dropped my pen and this guy pretty far from me picked it up, he didn’t need too and no I wouldn’t do that for him .
Uzair, lost you there dude. How does men desiring women more than vice versa tie into why women rely on seduction/charm?
There is no elusive charm and its not a rocket science for women to seduce men.
It all comes down to more fundamental things.
If you read many of the responses here, youll see that most ppl agree that it doesnt require much on part of women to get men to treat them favorably.
women rely on these things because men respond to them.
men respond to them because they desire wom*e*n.
men dont /cannot rely on charm/seduction because women wouldnt respond to them.
women have an attitude of general indifference towards men.
I think it’s cheap actually, if you flirt and use your ‘feminine charms’ to get things done by men.
Some while ago i saw this girl at a shop flirting with this guy, and when he left she said loudly: “Oh my gosh, did you see that? what a creep. What was he on about. Did you see how he was hitting on me…blablabla…”
Well girl, you were pouting your lips, leaning forwards while you didnt need to, making stupid jokes, talking with this annoying wannabe seductive voice and you were giggling like a fool and then you act all surprised when he flirts back at you and asks your tel number
There is no elusive charm and its not a rocket science for women to seduce men.
It all comes down to more fundamental things.
If you read many of the responses here, youll see that most ppl agree that it doesnt require much on part of women to get men to treat them favorably.
women rely on these things because men respond to them.
men respond to them because they desire wom*e*n.
men dont /cannot rely on charm/seduction because women wouldnt respond to them.
women have an attitude of general indifference towards men.
Makes sense. But you've addressed that which wasn't raised. I quoted something that suggested women seduce because they cannot command, not that seduction is rocket science, or that it doesn't occur organically, or that men won't respond to it.
Men do employ charm with women (because they know it works), but they don't have to. You could argue women rely on charm because there's a lack of perceived alternative, or a lack of capability to engage as an equal. How we project influence over others reveals a power dynamic. Just like the answer to the question "Would you rather be loved/considered attractive vs respected" is telling.
As an aside, there seems to be a running theme in all your posts - that women are indifferent to men who in turn are constantly vying for the former's attention. Look around you. Plenty of guppans pursuing guppies and line-marring them. Far from being indifferent, we're quite preoccupied with the opposite sex.
Yet the same women would complain about fair treatment and stuff. Let me make this clear you are using your gender to get beneficial treatment. That is not empowering or emancipating. Its actually degrading.