Feeling Tense and disturb today!

Lifestyle Relationships
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Do make sure that you get isitikhara done and inshaAllah whatever decision you make will turn out for the better...

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^ Faari

I wanst refering to ur post, if thats what u thought.
secondly I do think it is confusing.

Because I want to give somebody here the right advice, which requires thought and viewing perpesticves form all angles.

Rather than going for the easy option and saying to say ...oh yeh what the heck go and break you 5 years of attachment.

D.A:

Freind i assure you i have given your seriou thread and problme a lot of thought it requires, and i conclude friend that dont take any action...especially breaking the engagement without dicussing the situation with either your mother of father.

If you father scares you you should atleats tell the whol truthful stroy toyour mother. She is a girl atleast.

Listen while i wud love to say to u like other break the mangi, i dont think that is wise for any of us to force you to do what we say.

As for for instance we could be wrong, but tomrow you will have to face the consequcnes of that decsion, and none of us are going to take the responsibility of making you take theat decion if it was wrong.

We are not your real-life friends, or relatives who can see everything and give more worthy judgements.

And God-forbid im telling you once you break the engement it wilbe big insult to thier family, and say for some reason if u wanted to re-connect it, maybe becos they turned out to be good, but because of thier ego/insult u did they will never accept u again.

We can only advice from the knowledge you gave us.

So dear i advice you listen to me and dont take any big decision before discussing the whole situation and history with atleast one older and mature family member of yours.

*I see your dad is out of the equation, *

U MUST TEL UR MOTHER OR SISTER. And then with them/her you can analyse all the things and context, and make a decision.

These people are your family members why dont u dicssu it with them..Dont u get it little girl.

I am begining to get angry at you now lil girl.

Tumhare liye dooro ki advice zaida ammeiyat rekti hai kia apni family ki advice se.

PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ TELL UR MOTHER OR ANOTHER OLDER MATURER MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY THIS WHOLE STORY.

CAN U DO ME THIS ONE FAVOUR.

We r older and maturer peolpe than you, many of us having been through the similar things, all of us are advising you to tell your somebody oldr.

Why dont u listen!!

I think its about time to get strict with you.

Im sorry but the fact is that we people are caring so much for you, giving you our time and energy, why dont u show us a the respect back by doing what we say.

And Im telling you if your do get married and things get worse after marriage, your parentz will suffer and they will kick you and you will kick yourself for not making them aware of the reality which God did reveal to you beforehand!

Stupid lerki...

Maybe there are some extrem factors, that were making your in-laws act like that. Telling your parents, they could confront them aand demand explanations that why was you acting like this, and let them decide if thier explantions r good or not, and whether they deserved to be stayed with or broken with.

*Now u better start showing us some respect *

Timepass April 2013
263

Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

lol^ stupid lerki

Timepass April 2013
264

Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

I have wanted to put out a

**TROLL ALERT**
**TROLL ALERT**
**TROLL ALERT**

on this thread for ages now but have not done so because the poor lass in a predicament and it seems so genuine. However, I must say, even if it is genuine (and I still believe it is) our beloved DA is showing signs of being a troll. DA, are you a real life troll?

**TROLL ALERT**
**TROLL ALERT**
**TROLL ALERT**

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**
Here is what you need to do: You need to talk to your mother or father and you need to tell them ABOUT THE EMAILS**.....and **ABOUT THE GAALIYAN **this guy gave you. That is all you need to do. Ab tum koi choti dood peeti bachi to nahin ho.......jo k itna kaam bhi nahi kar sakti. Just tell mom or dad about his emails and gaaliyan. Bas. Simple. And then listen to what your mom/dad say.

Agar tumharay parents Fiance ki ammi se TUMHARAY Dubai jaanay k baaray main baat kar saktey hain.............iss ka matlab hai k tumharay parents aasani se Fiance ki ammi se tumharay future k baaray main baat karsaktey hain.

Tum ko apne parents par TRUST kyoon nahi hai??? Agar tumharay parents tumhari care na kartey........to Fiance ki ammi ko Dubai k baaray main na poochtay. Dekho tumharay parents aqal mand hain.........un KO EMAILS aur Gaaliyan K BAARAY MAIN BATAAO. Bas yeh hi kaam karna hai tum ko. Aagay sab apnay parents par chor do. Woh tumharay liye jo bhi sochay ge....tumharay faiday main aur tumhary haq main faisla karain gay.

*******DA.*....shadi k liye BAHUT maturity, strength, aur HIMMAT ki zaroorat hoti hai. Agar tum apnay parents se baat nahin kar sakti........to kal apni saas ya husband se important issues par kaisay baat karo gi????? Baron se communicate karna maturity hai......aur tum is baat se darti ho. Meaning you're not ready for marriage because you are not mature or strong enough. Sorry.

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

[QUOTE]
^ Faari

I wanst refering to ur post, if thats what u thought.
secondly I do think it is confusing.

Because I want to give somebody here the right advice, which requires thought and viewing perpesticves form all angles.

Rather than going for the easy option and saying to say ...oh yeh what the heck go and break you 5 years of attachment.
[/QUOTE]

By all means, Carry on with the advice u have to give. Believe me even i find it interesting to read and i think ur input is valuable as your not telling her to break it off simply as the rest of us are however i was only agreeing with RV and giving my own example by sayin me and my fiance have issues but he never resorts to swearing as DA's fiance does to that extreme.

My intention was to merely highlight the importance of respect for each other in a relationship i wasnt suggesting for one minute she should break off 5 years of commitment.

In any case acting civil towards your partner never hurt anyone!

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well mainay apni mama ko apnay fiancee ki slangs k baray mai batadia hai..pehlay to unko bohot afsoos hua then she said k tumhain usi say shadi karni hai ? to mainay kaha yes i love him...Then she said k hum is shadi ko extend kar k dekh letay hain ..Today when my fiancy's mom called us for the date fixing then my mom said to his mother dat we want to fix it after rabi-ul-awwal i.e march ,otherwise my fiancy waz pushing me to marry in december bcoz he wants to get me early and wants to enjoy the winter with me but now i left all the matters on my mom...Mama nay kaha hai k agar shadi k baad bhi tumhain ye buri tarah baat karay to pehlay compromise karnay ki koshish karna but agar ye tum per kabhi bhi torture karay ya phir kuch aur to foran say is ko choor kar karachi aajana hamaray pass and is say bilkul mat darna bcoz ab larkion k bohot rights hain..Mama said to me k wo nikkah-namay mai apni sari shartein rakhwaingi takay aagay meray liye koi problem na hu .My mom said dat dont worry and handle the situation like a brave and educated girls..she said k tum aik illeterate larki nahi hu,hum nay tumhain engineering isiliye karwai ha k tum pooori world ko face karsakoo..when my father said to break with him den my mother said to him k kisi bhi larkay k baray mai hum kuch nahi kehsakhtay hain and shadi aik tarah ka game hi hota ha jis mai larki ko strong ban kar apna ghar save karna hota ha and agar us per zyada zulm huraha hu to usay ghabrana nahi chahiye and foran us larkay ko choor dena chahiye..mama nay dad ko samjhaya k kal hum is ki kahin aur bhi karaingay to hamain kisi ki guarantee nahi ha k shadi k baad larka kitna change houga , yahan to atleast is ka pyaar hai .Ye us larkay k saath ghomi hai ,us k saath shopping wagaira per gayi hai to atleast ab isko usi say nikkah karna chahiye in islamic point of view...agar aagay nahi set rahi shadi to hum is k liye yahan bethay hain ,is ko koi ghabranay ki zarorat nahi ha...

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

^

Thankyou for the Relief

Now carry on the dicsscusion with your family like that.

I must re-iterate you should if not show atleast fully describe the angry and undue email he sent you.
Juts ignoring him for one day was not a sensible or sane reason for him showing so much anger and contempt to you in that mail.

Something looks unright with him. Ideally show your mum the email and let her decide whats wrong with him

Any-how Good Girl.. Well done keep it up.

^Faari

Im happy to hear your fiance is good with you.

Waise what i would say is that say for some reason your fiance suddenly started acting like that....how would u want peopleto help you....would u prefer people to say at once break it off or what can be done to fix the problem.

And may God bless your and your fiances union.

But What i would say is that a lot of mens behaviour is different from before and after marriage.

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DA........Alhumdolillah...........this is GOOD NEWS that you're telling us after a long time!

See,** DA**........you should listen to the advice that we all are giving you on GS. We all told you many many many many times that you need to tell your mom or dad about your fiance's emails. And finally you listened to us. And dekha....Parents ko batanay se ab tumhara dil bahut halka feel hota hoga. Because that was the right thing to do.

I'm glad that your mom is being very supportive of you. And you mom did the smart thing by extending the shadi date. So, in between now and March.......if your fiance misbehaves with you again............please tell your mom. Now that you have told your mom everything......you should feel comfortable about telling her anything else in the future regarding your fiance. So, don't feel scared. If you fiance behaves like an idiot, please tell your mom so that she can suggest the right course of action for you.

Give your fiance more time. And watch his behavior during this extended time. If your fiance doesn't improve .....to phir DA...tum aqal se kaam lena......aur rishtay ko tor dena (AGAR us ka attitude na badla ya mazeed kharab hogaya to).

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

Aamir...

If he treated me like that then i would go straight to my father as it is an arranged marriage and tell him to sort it coz that sort of behaviour is not what i signed up for.. In turn my father would talk to his father and older brother and he would be put straight, so i feel like i have alot of security =)

If it happened after marriage then i'd have to deal with it. But i believe if i give him respect, i shall receive it in return! If not then it would be an issue we would both have to work towards to resolve. Thankfully though he does not have a foul mouth!

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

[QUOTE]
Mama said to me k wo nikkah-namay mai apni sari shartein rakhwaingi takay aagay meray liye koi problem na hu
[/QUOTE]

The best idea so far.. Im glad you spoke to your mother and inshallah tumhara masla hal hogaya he permanatly now

Do keep us posted DA on any other developments

Good Luck

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yeah i'm feeling lil relaxing now bcoz of my mum's support..But she also seems like in a tense mood..Well i badly need ur prayers my net pals...Hope and inshaAllah everything will be gud...Well may be my mom will do nikkah first so that i can easily go to dubai without any issues..Bas Allah say yehi dua hai k jo bhi hu sab behter and acha hu...I'm fed up with this marriage now and dont feel any excitement but lets see what will happen....

Mujhe perwa nahi..
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gr8 advice na

:)

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

barhaal jo bhi qadam uthana intehai soch samajh ker uthana

:)

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I leave it on Allah! Bcoz i m tired of thinking abt it..Jitnay zyada mainay dreams dekhay thay aur jitna zyada shooq tha shadi ka but ab kuch feel nahi huraha...Kash mera relation waisay hi rehta jaisay 5 years pehlay tha..

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

DA-as much as it hurts, you should see it as a blessing in disguise. Baad mein zyada dukh hota, aap ko bhi aur aap ke ghar walon ko.

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

I Agree with dil-di-rani

Not many girls r lukcy to see thier husbands true side b4 marriage

And Faari

Thats ncie to hear ur faince is cool and that ur is an arranged married.

Well..the posibility still remains that he cud somehwta become less polite and couterous after marriage...as it will be less needed by him..

i dnt think anybody can rule out this possibility..

As its a common phenomenon.

And there is no way..Farri, as much as i hope the best for u...that your faince/husband will never utter any foul mouth to u ever in your lifetime..Unless hes 5 times praying, beard keeping highly relgious guy.

Impossible..

Also the real-life statistics support my opinion.

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well my fiancy also offers five times prayer...Dont know why he is used of slangs now :( aik baar mainay un say poocha tha k app plz is tarah mujh say baat kiun kartay hain then in the reply he said to me k tum mujhay itna zyada gussa diladeti hu k main tum say aisi language start karta hun and main bhi nahi chahta k main aisi language mai baat karun...he said k shadi k baad tum mujhay itna pyaar dena na k main ye sab bad words bolna bhool jaon :(

kabhi kabhar waqai mujhay ajeeb sa feel hota hai k pata nahi wo mujh say waqai dil say pyaar kartay hain ya phir ye pyaar wagaira sab fazoool hai..samajh hi nahi aata..kafee loag kehtay hain k he haf anger problem and gusssay ki halat mai un ko shayad kuch yaad nahi rehta hai...

My mom waz saying k wo larkay ki pic aik psychiatrist ko dikhaingi and un ko ye sara case bataingi k kabhi larka theek behave karta ha and kabhi extremely gussay mai behave karta hai..mom waz saying k kia pata tum koi fault karti hu jis ki wajah say usko aisa hujata hai and wo itna bad behave karnay lagta hai :(

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

im starting to think ure a troll

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Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!

:hinna: I hope not. I don’t bust my urdu lingo skills on everyone.