Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

Lifestyle Relationships
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lol yeah i kind of watched it...it was on geo

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

Original post is full of lies.

Whats the name , ok Cunfused kurri what ever you are but this is clear that you are a L.I.A.R.

You are lying about details.

  1. Qualified MBBS doctor do not write like this.

  2. I do not expect a qualified 33 year old physician not living in Pakistan acting like a 26 year old girl holding degreee of M.A political Science living in N.Nazim Abad under strict supervision of her mother.

I challenge you to prove your identity, qualification.

State in your own words the reasons, symptom of various allergies spreading in human body ? are there any form of allergy which can be transmitted inherently ? Please name them. Also please name the most wide spread form of allergy present now a days in humans ?

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

I agree with the above poster.. you dont sound like a 33 year old independent and mature medical doctor. You are old enough to make your own decisions. For gods sake he is just bald and that too by choice, its not like he is langra or loola. You will not loose ur family if you marry him but you will loose him for ur family, so make a choice now, you are 33 and time is running out. Your mother didnt act like a mother before (in terms of finding a match for u) and she wont act like one now.

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

OMG, is this for real?!! When your 45 and still single trust me your gonna totally regret your attitude. Sorry to be blunt but your no spring chicken luv. Your mum should realise that too, today it's this guys hair and tomorrow it's gonna be the next guy's teeth. Grow up!

Who are you and your mum to be judging people on their 'hair'?! How would you like it if his mother turned around and said sorry her skin colour is way too dark or she's fat?

When the shoe's on the other foot........that's all i can say.

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:cb: This post is so funny

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

you have found a guy u like....do istikhara and marry him...for gods sake there are worse things than a shaved head. andre aggassi shaves his head...he looks pretty good to me. appreciate the opportunity from Allah to marry.

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

youre 33 and i think mature enough to take these type of decisions.. so go for what you think is right without hurting your mother. talk to her and make her realise that you really like this guy and him being bald is not something that makes you change your mind and so on. bring out everything you like about him so she understand it aswell.
RV is probably right.. that she is afraid of being alone and you leaving her ..

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

WOW....who knew a mum could stop her daughter from marrying a guy who has a bald head!!

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

Thanks to those who took time to post constructive feedback.

To those who think i am a troll or a liar..get a life!

This site amazes me..on the one hand u have ppl who say omg dont go against ur family, religion etc..but with re: my situation..all it comes down to is..ur 33yo, act like it. Just because i am 33 does not mean i am a batameez. I respect my mother, i love her, i do not want to hurt her.
I understand what she is doing is wrong, but i am not going to behave in rude manner and say f u mom i am going to live my life the way i want to.
It is a work in progress, and i am trying my best. I have re evaluated alot of things and it seems to me that this is part of a large pattern, in terms of rejecting potentials. Either way, i love him and am not leaving him.
As for you code red...i am not living in pakistan, i live in the US. I am an MD. With re: your questions surrounding allergies, would u like me to describe the various types of physiological responses...ie types 1-IV. In terms of heredity, that is extremely complex and would take paragraphs to discuss, aside from heredity, evironmental factors are playing a much larger role, esp with various pollutants, synthetics etc..

thanks again!

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Maybe because I guess it make's a person look older?

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um that was rude.

Anyway, I understand what you're saying, confused kuri. Try doing Istikhaara and tell your mom you don't wanna hurt her feelings but you gotta do what you gotta do

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Aishaaa2.1 GHz - Yes you are right ! It was rude. sometime the the taste of medicine is bitter, but you need it for your own speedy recovery.

You are most welcome :flower2:

We shall follow your instruction. And we shall pray for you that you get a life[partner] soon :slight_smile:

I think people are not suggesting you to act in a rude behaviour. But, just a gentle remider : act as per your professional aura of a Qualified and Licenscend Medical Practitioner :slight_smile:

Let me remind you about one subject which they teach to medical students in 2nd year or 3rd year. It is called ’ Behavioural Sciences '. This is very important subject in your profession and you need to pass with flying colours in order to excel in your career.

It includes training of Students for conflict resolotion, in most amicable manner possible. for instance conflict between staff and patients.

It includes training for strong communication skills. You need to communicate to patients the desease, test results, precautions etc in best way possible

They also teach you how to manage a rowdy patient with command and control. How to divert attention of a 4 year old boy from the fear of injection. How to convince a 70 year old lady to take medicine on time, without throwing it in dust bin.

I will be glad if you explain what you have learned and how do you aply it as a praticing MD in USA. :flower1:

Please bear in mind that I am neither an MD nor a student of this noble field. But I do respect people belonging to this profession from depth of my heart.

Re- allergies : Please do explain the details, as you said you are on vacations. It would be highly informative. I dont shy away from reading or writing informative subjects ; be it one para or 10 paragraphs. My record of comunication in marathon posts is duly accessable.

If you feel this is not appropriate forum for that discussion then allow me to open a thread in relative forum and ask you the same question there. thanks

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/science-and-nature/

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

lol why don't you visit your own doctor for all that information or the thread yourself? whether she is or isn't she doesn't really need to prove it to anyone here...its an online forum about relationships? lol who cares..

anyway..although I have to admit that its pretty absurd to read. i know one of my cousin has just hit your age and my khala is desperate for her to marry now whether hes pakistani or not....how long does your mother expect you to be alone for till she is willing to back down?? that doesnt sound fair and i think you are willing to fight for this person then that is what you should do. all her resentment and anger will eventually have to stop right? are you an only child?? do you have siblings that can help her see how this is crazy? and if you have their support then she will have to one day give in as well...and he may even grow on her over the years hopefully but you need to live your life for yourself and your future family now... the time of always listening to your parents and doing what they say has passed. you know how much you love and respect and don't wish to disobey her but you also need to do what is best for your future. like you said you wont be leaving him so why dont you just get engaged or have others talk to her and ease into it. maybe by the time of your wedding things will have smoothed over? and your bf also should cooperate. his stance is fine but if its preventing the two of you for starting your life together then he just needs to give in.. you have to make one of them give in...

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Im going to skip reading everyone elses comment so this may have already been suggested! The solution to your problem is twofold.!!!

1) Make your mum agree to meet him even though he shaves his head.
2) Make him grow his hair (which he is already planning on doing) and then take him to see mummy dearest!
3) Manipulate them by shaving your head...then tell them you dont have long to live. Then say, "now what?"

Your welcome!

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

^ thats the bottom line cause stone cold said so!

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

I have a lot of respect for the guy. Get your mom on-board and don't leave him.

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

Communicating openly with your mother about your feelings is not badtameezi.... do it maturely, you have to sit down with her and tell her how you feel openly, tell her mom its not that I'm desperate, I like this person, I'm not doing it just for the sake of getting married.... I feel that this is right person for me. Maybe your mom is thinking you want to marry this guy out of desperation and she's not taking you seriously.

I don't think a good mother would discard her daughter's feelings and judgment.

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

okay First of all you shud support him for being proud of who he is. Its not the hair that makes up a person and its not the hair that bring compatibility! My fiance is bald and I dont give two Sh*ts! Whenever my mom says something, I always support my fiance but my mom hardly says anything abt his hair. On the other hand, he feels bad at times and keeps saying that i will get a hair transplant or put wig on our wedding day but I always tell him- be proud of who you are! and ppl have a big mouth they will always talk!!

About your mom, Try to make her understand.. marriages are based on good relationships, understanding, compatibility NOT on physical looks! not on fair skin, tall height or anything. If you guys are really good wit eachother and have a strong will to stay together then these issues are nothing to overcome!

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Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help

yeh kaisa ulta hisaab hai, most mothers with 33 year old daughters would marry them off to any male with a pulse. Its usually the girl (or aunty to be exact) that doesn't wanna go thru with it

you have to give your mom an ultimatum, either a ganja damaad or no pothay, her choice

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Hey guys

Thought i would give u an update. Unfortunately, its not a positive one. I am back home visiting mom. I have been home for the past week and intermittently the conversation swings to marriage. Apparently, everyone and their nani is getting married, either family members or ppl that we know.
Yesterday my mom brought up the topic with me. She asked me what my plans were, i told her that i want to marry my guy, lets just call him "Ricky". Mom said, well when are u going to introduce me, i was caught off guard, i thought finally a breakthrough! It lasted on a few seconds, i told mom i would introduce him to her next month ( we have only met 2x but have talked for 7 months, long distance).
Then it started, first the comments about his hair, then how i should just marry anybody because i wasnt good enough to get a better guy so i should just settle. Then comments on how he was "ugly fugly" (thats a direct quote btw). On top of that, my sister, who to my face said he was a nice guy, was telling my mom something completely opposite about him, just in terms of looks, saying she would never marry anyone like that, and that wasnt her taste, basically the whole arguement from my mom was i was settling and its my fault. She then proceeded to bring up all the other ppl i have met on my matrimonial journey from hell..and how it was my fault that i wasnt able to find a decent guy...basically it just went on and on from there...
I stood up for Ricky, i told my mom he was a great guy and i was happy, mom was like go and do what u want, marry him dont invite me and since u cant find anyone anyways settle for him, initially i started argueing a bit of raising my voice..but after awhile..i let my mom continue yelling and i stayed calm.
I suggested to my mom that perhaps i should leave, and she said go ahead.
I am still at home, didnt sleep all night..she isnt talking to me now..and i am not upset, but just angry. Angry that my mom is not being fair. Angry at my sister for not being honest with me and most of all for talking smack behind my back. Angry at myself for not being able to find the perfect "jawaii" for my mother. I feel like a failure.
Despite being the perfect daughter in every other way and honouring my parents, it doesnt matter because i am a failure.
I read so much on how ppl say that no one will love u like ur parents, and i do agree with that. But my logical side kicks in and says to me, ur 33, u want ur own family, children, and ur with a guy who loves u and cares for u and who despite all this abuse being thrown at him, is still by ur side..what more do u want?

I feel that my mom will eventually come around..but what if she doesnt?

What if i am making a mistake going against my mom ( i know it sounds illogical, i am an educated woman, but why would a parent want to hurt their own kid?)

In my heart i know that what i am doing isnt wrong. I feel that i have reached a crossroads and i feel that if i get what i want...i wont be entirely happy, but if i dont go ahead with this and listen to my mother, i will have to start all over again and what if i dont find someone as wonderful as him? i still wont be happy.

More than anything, i needed to vent, i have no desi friends to talk to about this..and i appreciate ur time..
thanks