Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
get a sharpie and draw some hair on him.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless…plz help
there are women out there who can’t even find a rishta and your complaining about this
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
he really needs to grow the hair. Its not a big deal. He isnt much of a mujnoon is he
or. Always stand very close to him ad drape ur hair over his head.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
orrrrrrrrrr on the shaadi day have him wear a pug. Problem solved.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
sometimes, parents are wrong. parents are childish and unreasonable. these are times when the child, whom they reared so well that he/she knows right from wrong, good from bad, and rational from irrational, needs to take a stand and stick with it regardless of what the parent says. you need to tell your mom that you are marrying this guy because you two are compatible. if she really, truly wanted you to marry a doctor with nice hair, she had plentyyy of time to find you one. if you dump this guy and spend the next 5 yrs finding another dude who does meet the doctor and hair requirement, i'm sure your mom will have an issue with his height, or his family background, or his zaat/caste, or anything else. n you'll be a 37 yr old single girl stuck with the same dilemma.
what if he grows his hair and it turned out to be beech main medaan aur ird-gird jhaalar ?
.... figure out who is really wanted to be with who?... can you accept him being bald? ..obiviously he is not desperate to be with you otherwise he would have stop shaving his head... right?
on a peice of paper write down the pros and cons of being with him or without him and go from there. ....
and about your mom or your family... well its YOU who is gonna Make him likable among all...when u will show ' i dont care' kind of attitude, people will eventually stop talking
^:omg: I had forgotten that phrase… hahhahaa
On a serious note to the OP, if you really like this guy and feel that he is right for you… then you should take a stand in front of your mother. You should also not ask him to grow his hair for you, you already like him the way he is, right? Waisay bhi, yahaan its quite fashionable (in US)… I work with 4 guys who have shaved heads and they don’t look weird at all… better to shave it all off then have those weird-looking thin hair.
Has your guy considered rubbing chia seeds on his head??? 
On a more serious note, if you’re in love with him and see him as “the one” for you…then stand your ground. Your mom is your mom and even though she’s making threats (to scare you into surrendering to her)…I doubt she would disown you. Even if you were to marry this guy…and even if your mom was the most status conscious woman in the world…how long is she going to to go without interacting with her own daughter?
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
Troll. Can't believe people waste time replying to things like this.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
^ I don't think she is a troll. It's just a unique situation. Some parents are keen on looking for the perfect rishta which may or not exist in terms of having all the qualities they are looking for. I think parents just make it harder on themselves by putting restrictions on career and caste but inside they mean well. I think she wants him to be a doctor because perhaps she wants to give you an established sense of financial security and it could be its something she didn't have in her life or something she doesn't want you to be deprived of. Even if you have that through your job she probably doesn't want to see it as if your working for him, and wants him to be the chief breadwinner? The best advice to you is to convince him to grow out his hair, and if he doesn't, communicate your concern to your mom in assertive but respectful manner. He can shave it afterwards, what can she do then?
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
okay... you aren't troll...
seriously,
you really need to convince your mother then, rejecting coz of hair...... :( is simply ridiculous.
and please ask that Vin Diesel guy just to grow hair for little while for your sake and he can shave it rest of his life afterwards. getting stressed out is not the answer, you are related to a medical profession (as you said) so you know it better, trying can be the answer, keep trying on convincing either of the sides until one gives up...
It's not easy standing up to the people we love.
But sometimes, it must be done. My situation wasn't the same as yours because thankfully, my mother rocks and supported me all the way in my marriage.
But to a lot of people, my beloved hubby wasn't up to their rather superficial standards. These are people whose opinion mattered (yes - I used the past tense for a reason) a lot to me before I was married. And boy did they express their opinions. I disregarded them because I knew that in this situation, they were wrong, and am I ever glad I did because I wake up every day, honest to God, extremely happy. I have a blessed life, Alhamdulllillah, and a big reason for that is that Allah gave me the strength to hold on to what I believed in and drown out the voices of the naysayers.
Every once in a while, I consider what my life would have been like had I listened to all of the negativity. And it frightens me just how close I was to listening to these superficial opinions and being totally miserable.
You need to take stock of things. Forget the shaved head, put aside what your family is saying. Does this man make you happy? Does he treat you well? Is he a good Muslim? If the answers to all of the above are "yes," then it's time to stand up for yourself and hold on to this guy. Make dua, keep being respectful and patient with your Ammi, and get the nikah done.
Good luck honey.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with people judging other people based on their looks. So what if he is bald? Does he seem like the family type of guy? Is he willing to sacrifice somethings to make you happy? Is he religious? Wil he make a good father in your opinion? Is he ambitious? If yes then looks shouldn't matter because that's what will make you and your parents like him. My mom is the same way and will judge other people (my friends) based on how they look. How long their hair is, what they wear, and it gets ridiculous in the end. Just think it out and if you really think he is the person then tell your mom to give him a chance. You said she hasn't met him yet, so if she meets him then maybe she'll start liking him? If she refuses to meet him then let him meet her "accidentally"
Re: Feel lost and hopeless…plz help
I thought the guy had a HUGE problem.
Keep on trying to convince your mom. It’s hard for girls these days to get good rishtas. And you found your guy, why leave him over his hair? You have everything else in common and you’re only a year apart. My advice is to talk to your other relatives (cousin, aunt, grandparent) who can then speak to your mom. If this fails, have a male friend/cousin bring your possible future husband to your house as a “friend” he just brought along. Then have this friend/cousin ask your mom what he thinks of the guy.
And men can be self-conscious of their hair. If his hair is thinning/balding, I don’t blame him for shaving his head. If he grew out his hair, it would be obvious to everyone that he’s losing his hair. But when guys shave their hair, it can be out of choice- that he simply doesn’t want longer hair. I would leave the demand that he grow out his hair. Or try explaining to him that when you get married, you two have to try to look good for one another.
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
Maybe your moms issue is not the baldness. As you mentioned in one of your posts, that the "ideal" son-in-law for her is a DOCTOR. which he's not.
I'm guessing your mom is just making up excuses but to be honest with you, baldness is a VERY IMMATURE reason to reject a good guy.
You're 33 and have finally found someone you love and is compatible. There are many girls out there, way younger than u, who can't seem to find a good rishta. I mean you really need to stand up and explain (very nicely) to your mom that the ganja dude is the person u want to marry and no one else. Tell her that him being bald doesnt bother you, and pls do let her know that she's being irrationaly immature about this. ( I know it sounds harsh, but parents need to hear it sometimes)
I don't mean in any way that you shoud disrespect her, but u need to be firm. From what i read, you're not sure yourself if the baldness is bothering you or not.
If you let go of him, theres gona b plenty more women for him, but it's gona be reallllly hard for u to find someone that u love. It will take u many yrs, since your mom is not much help in finding one for you.
stand up for him, tell your mom the good side of him..
Good luck. :)
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
and i thought the shaved head look was the "in" thing.. quite sexy too
tell him u find him hotter with hair.. he may change. But the fact u told him ur mum doesnt like his shaved head look and not that u dont like it, has messed it up.
He will definately think that ur mum is dictating you and will continue to do so if he marries you.
You need to get out of this mindset. Quickly. For any guys sake
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
I really don't understand how someones hair can cause such an issue.. Is this a religious thing? Really if you've met a man who you want to spend the rest of your life with, is compatible in every way except the hair (which I really can't get my head around) and he feels the same way for you then it's a no brainer. Allow your mum to explain why this is such a huge issue- if he is so well compatible in every other way then maybe mum's acting this way with a no mans good enough attitude. Else really it's crazy and get them to speak to eachother or something to meet in middle. Good luck either way :)
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
could th mum be sikh
Re: Feel lost and hopeless...plz help
If this is a serious post:
PLEASE stand up for the man if you really are into him! And yes, it is really really unfair of you to expect him to grow his hair for the sake of your mom. You can get him to do that after marriage, but right now, don't make him feel like you can't support him. Your mom will most definitely come around. And you can also win his trust further and he will appreciate you more in the future if you do this for him now.
This is such a petty reason to refuse someone.
Also if you do stand up for him now, make sure you can continue to do that in the future in case your mom doesn't give him due respect.
But in honesty, it seems like you yourself are unsure whether you want to be with him. Are you still hoping for a better option? Think about it.