~*Family or love?*~

[Pareezay]

@choti_jaan

I disagree! most Desi parents- in fact most parents- would do anything for there child that they thought beneficial for them- regardless of what society thought. It takes a lot for a mom or dad to turn away completley from there own child. Every culture, every religion, and even science, knows that a mother’s love is incomparable, and and undescribale love. And that is why almost every religion has the paramount rule of OBEYING YOUR PARENTS.

:k:

[CE]

@choti_jaan

Colorful eyes- I know that you probably didnt have the best of life when growing up- but most parents in the world would give up there life for their child. Most parents make so many sacrifices, its uncountable.

Im taking this as a personal insult(Obviously a multi nick tsk tsk), for which reason im gonna tell you to go and shove ur head down the toilet u “plonker” U don’t know me, so dont go around putting 2 an 2 together and coming with 8 u Div!!!

“balagastagat”

There are some parents that are abusive and such, but they are a world’s minority- and that’s why hear about them in the news.

Also remember that your parents are human too. They weren’t perfect, just as you won’t be when you are a mother or father. They do the best they can do. They made mistakes, and they will make mistakes, but they will always want the best for you. Just think that if you had a son or daughter and you thought that the person she was marrying was harmful for her and her happiness, wouldn’t you go all the way to prevent her from making what you percieve as a mistake?

I also think its a small price to pay to give up someone for your parent’s sake even if you are right, and even if they were the most evil parents on Earth- And maybe Allah(swt) will find you someone better for obeying your mother and father.

anyways… moving on to the quote, which “Heera the gr8” quoted me on…

Can u plz explain to me why we have so many forced Marriages? Parents who are willing to sell their daughters, who are willing to get their daughters married to druggies and alcoholic’s aslong as they get married

why we still have so many honor killing going on in pakistan

Why women are not educated in Pakistan and prefere there women to stay at home? in hope tht no other man will ever set eyes on them…

I have witnessed all the above in pakistan so dont call me a child yeah.

I still believe not all parents want best for thier children, they want whats best for society and their family honor end of!!!

[CE]

@Colourful eyes

Parent’s dont always want best for their chidlren, most of the time they want what’s best for the family and sociecty..:hinna:

@choti_jaan

I disagree! most Desi parents- in fact most parents- would do anything for there child that they thought beneficial for them- regardless of what society thought. It takes a lot for a mom or dad to turn away completley from there own child. Every culture, every religion, and even science, knows that a mother’s love is incomparable, and and undescribale love. And that is why almost every religion has the paramount rule of OBEYING YOUR PARENTS.

ok im a bit confused.com now, plz notice how i wrote “Parents Dont always”(i could of wrote “Parent’s never”)

Then you write “most Desi parents” (u could of wrote “all Desi parents”)

so we are talking about the Minority and Majority yeah?

hope you get and understand what im trying to say choti jaan…

I dont want this thread to be flooded like all the other threads so plz stay ontopic

peace…

[choti_jaan]

@Colourful eyes

Im taking this as a personal insult(Obviously a multi nick tsk tsk), for which reason im gonna tell you to go and shove ur head down the toilet u "plonker" U don't know me, so dont go around putting 2 an 2 together and coming with 8 u Div!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really sorry about offending you, I really didn't mean a personal insult here. I said that because I got the feeling you mentioned once that you didn't have a happy childhood in another thread- this one in which you said :

[QUOTE]
*

And then I think further down you mentioned that you needed a lot of counseling for it.

Anyways I'm really sorry that I offended you.*

[CE]

Re: ~Family or love?~

^emm was tht thread in cafe by any chance?
edit the thread was in all views, and i wasn't serious plz read all the posts in tht thread, it wasn't a serious thread.....

like I said u dont know me, so dont make assumptions

peace....

[choti_jaan]

^ and I'm really sorry for doing that.

[CE]

Re: ~Family or love?~

^it's ok, Apology accepted

CE goes and checks herself in to rehab again

[choti_jaan]

@Colourful eyes

CE goes and checks herself in to rehab again

lol. who needs rehab when you have gupsup! :desia:

[Gr8Heera]

@Colourful eyes

Im taking this as a personal insult(Obviously a multi nick tsk tsk), for which reason im gonna tell you to go and shove ur head down the toilet u “plonker” U don’t know me, so dont go around putting 2 an 2 together and coming with 8 u Div!!!

“balagastagat”

anyways… moving on to the quote, which “Heera the gr8” quoted me on…

Can u plz explain to me why we have so many forced Marriages? Parents who are willing to sell their daughters, who are willing to get their daughters married to druggies and alcoholic’s aslong as they get married

why we still have so many honor killing going on in pakistan

Why women are not educated in Pakistan and prefere there women to stay at home? in hope tht no other man will ever set eyes on them…

I have witnessed all the above in pakistan so dont call me a child yeah.

I still believe not all parents want best for thier children, they want whats best for society and their family honor end of!!!

Heera the gr8’s answer is as I said “Some parents make mistakes too as they are human beings”.

I haven’t witnessed a single thing in Pakistan. Yes I read in news paper that type of stories. We can’t understand what is the real reason.

I will say its all because of JAHALAT.

Lack of religious taleem. The main and only factor is Islam say doori.

Good question and thanks for asking and calling me Heera the gr8.

Tum mano ya na mano ho to buchchi as I seen your picture, to buchchon wali baat to karo gi.

[CE]

“Heera the gr8” u r soo wise:@: I say u should become a preacher, what u say to that heh:faizy: U should go around pakistan in ur little colored suzuki, with all the jingle bells hanging off, With a loud speaker and preach ur wise words of wisdom to them…AWaH Allah would be so happy???

App ko kisi ki nazar na lageCE does tht old lady hand thingy thing around the ears, and spits at “Heera the Gr8” for good luck, took! took!

p.s. at the bit where i am a kid, and u have seen my pic like in ur dreamzzz u CRAZY STALKER!!!

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: ~Family or love?~

Everyone loves their family. If you can leave your family so easily for the person you love (most probably at max you know him/her from last 1..2..3..4 years), you can also leave that person for someone else. simple is that.

[Straight_up]

Re: ~Family or love?~

^ Although I do not support people who choose love over family, I'd still say no, it's not so simple.

[Gr8Heera]

@Colourful eyes

“Heera the gr8” u r soo wise:@: I say u should become a preacher, what u say to that heh:faizy: U should go around pakistan in ur little colored suzuki, with all the jingle bells hanging off, With a loud speaker and preach ur wise words of wisdom to them…AWaH Allah would be so happy???

App ko kisi ki nazar na lageCE does tht old lady hand thingy thing around the ears, and spits at “Heera the Gr8” for good luck, took! took!

p.s. at the bit where i am a kid, and u have seen my pic like in ur dreamzzz u CRAZY STALKER!!!

This way you are showing your real face.

Thanks and love you.

[Balqis]

Re: ~Family or love?~

Sometimes, family think more about their honour and about what people would say than about the feelings of their children ....

[Let_Uz_Chat]

Re: ~Family or love?~

Ideally 5) Not marry at all.
From the given options possibly 2 & 3.

[ThaDesi]

WOW…just as I was about to start a new thread.. this thread hit home.. i am in a very stressful situation.. my mother does not want me to marry the woman i truly love.. with reasons kind of known/yet unknown. I have tried to console those reason but to no avail and I have tried for some time now. I agree with the following statements..

**3. Its a man’s job to fight for the girl’s honor and make his family unite on his decision. He has to step up to convince her parents as well. Its a no brainier, no wonder every family rejects the boys because he can’t even catch a nerve to talk the girl’s parents.

my statement: I have discussed this with my family numerous times.. heck even the rest of my family has.. including my sister..but mom wont budge.. dad is in a bind told me he cant go against his wife and yet he cant go against me either being i am his son …go figure. Her side was ok with it as long as my mom agreed so I am stuck in a rock and a hard place. Yes I have prayed alot and i still do…maybe i need to pray more?..
**
4. Family is family and the person I love becomes a part of my family. This is what families do and if they can’t accept it, you’ll just have to make them accept it.

I agree with this too.. if we were to go get married i am 100% sure she would be accepted no matter what.. because this has been the case with other family members.. actually alot of my family members have love marriages and are so happy .. but guess my mom does not want me to have the same…

also i read in this post that paradise lies with you mom.. i agree with this yet I disagree because if she is not accepting a muslim desi girl that I want to marry where is the good in that? I am sure in our religion it does not say don’t marry the muslim girl you want cause you mom says so. It is ultimately my decision on who I want to marry and if I truly love her and have told and showed my parents … then what is wrong with it? and who knows if moms choice will be right…what if I despise the girl and get a divorce from her like with in a week.. and yes that stuff happens i have seen it. Don’t know why parents dont get it.

I don’t really bank on the idea of an arrange marriage if I have something really good in front of me. What is the point of getting an arranged marriage if I am not going to be happy? I mean is the wedding for me or for my family to have something to talk about…

frankly I just want to go get married have other members in my family that will support me come and be my witnesses and start my life. But not everyone agrees with that too. Some of my family members have told me to do that and that is the only way..

people think it’s tough living in the ghetto try living as a desi…:ym:

[CE]

@Gr8Heera

This way you are showing your real face.

Thanks and love you.

Choose family peep's!!!!!!!! Choose family!!!!!!

@Balqis

Sometimes, family think more about their honour and about what people would say than about the feelings of their children ....

I agree some family's do choose honour and family's reputation over their child's happiness,

Some parent's think their child is not old enough to make such big decision's in life, so take charge. Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse....

[Lush-Beauty]

Re: ~Family or love?~

I will go wiv these 2

1. Make ur Family Happy, and try ur best to forget about the person

2. Marry someone else with ur familys blessing, and hope u will learn to be happy with ur new Marriage

[CE]

@ThaDesi

WOW…just as I was about to start a new thread.. this thread hit home.. i am in a very stressful situation.. my mother does not want me to marry the woman i truly love.. with reasons kind of known/yet unknown. I have tried to console those reason but to no avail and I have tried for some time now. I agree with the following statements..

3. Its a man’s job to fight for the girl’s honor and make his family unite on his decision. He has to step up to convince her parents as well. Its a no brainier, no wonder every family rejects the boys because he can’t even catch a nerve to talk the girl’s parents.

my statement: I have discussed this with my family numerous times.. heck even the rest of my family has.. including my sister..but mom wont budge.. dad is in a bind told me he cant go against his wife and yet he cant go against me either being i am his son …go figure. Her side was ok with it as long as my mom agreed so I am stuck in a rock and a hard place. Yes I have prayed alot and i still do…maybe i need to pray more?..

4. Family is family and the person I love becomes a part of my family. This is what families do and if they can’t accept it, you’ll just have to make them accept it.

I agree with this too.. if we were to go get married i am 100% sure she would be accepted no matter what.. because this has been the case with other family members.. actually alot of my family members have love marriages and are so happy .. but guess my mom does not want me to have the same…

also i read in this post that paradise lies with you mom.. i agree with this yet I disagree because if she is not accepting a muslim desi girl that I want to marry where is the good in that? I am sure in our religion it does not say don’t marry the muslim girl you want cause you mom says so. It is ultimately my decision on who I want to marry and if I truly love her and have told and showed my parents … then what is wrong with it? and who knows if moms choice will be right…what if I despise the girl and get a divorce from her like with in a week.. and yes that stuff happens i have seen it. Don’t know why parents dont get it.

I don’t really bank on the idea of an arrange marriage if I have something really good in front of me. What is the point of getting an arranged marriage if I am not going to be happy? I mean is the wedding for me or for my family to have something to talk about…

frankly I just want to go get married have other members in my family that will support me come and be my witnesses and start my life. But not everyone agrees with that too. Some of my family members have told me to do that and that is the only way..

people think it’s tough living in the ghetto try living as a desi…:ym:

lol, i lov the last line..

well u seem like u r really serious about this girl, if you know she is a good girl, and is Marriage/wifey material, and u know that in the long run she will make u and ur family happy i say run away and get married, and dont show ur face for another 5 years. Pop back after 5 years with a few babies and ur mum will have forgoten every thing and will welcome u with open hands:shoaby:
Ok i was only joking about the last bit, mind u doesn’t seem like such a bad idea does it:hmmm:

like i said in my previous post sometimes parents presume thier children are still kids and can’t make such big decisions, and are soo adamant they wont listen or budge…

when parent’s look for wifes for their sons they want someone, who is able to blend in with their lifestyle and family, someone who dresses modestly, Have respect for their olders, who is able to look after the family, cook clean etc.. etc…

Why does ur mum not agree with this Marriage? have u tried to reassure her, and has she met the girl, what do ur other family members think of her?

[omairhr]

What would u do if ur family came in the way of the person u loved, and u was unable to marry them.....

Would u:

1. Leave ur family to be with the person u love

2. Make ur Family Happy, and try ur best to forget about the person

3. Marry someone else with ur familys blessing, and hope u will learn to be happy with ur new Marriage

4. become a Devdas

3