Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
Whatever marriage it is, romance is always expected from both persons involved. The definition of romance be different for every couple though and as a marriage progresses romance might change too. For example in the first few years going out together might be romantic but after kids come along just being able to watch tv alone together might be romantic.
I think if you go into a marriage with the intention of working at your relationship and giving it 100% then inshallah everything will turn out as you expected or maybe even better.
I personally had an arranged marriage (religious reasons) and love did come with it slowly but surely.
I'm glad that I waited for my husband and he did for me. Everything we do is new and exciting and a first time for both of us.
That's not to say love marriages don't work.
I think you need to want the marriage not just the wedding and the first few happy months. Marriage is hard, responsibilities and having to compromise. But its worth it :)
Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
OK i'll agree with Zareen on this. The supposdely 'enlightened, being able to see the pros and cons of a situation' crowd seems hell bent on seeing only the cons and nitpicking for no apparent reason other than to justify their own positions to themselves. Ganging up on someone with a contrasting opinion is quite typical and i've seen it many times.
Disclaimer: I'm not referring to all who disagreed with Zareen. Some have expressed their opinions quite decently.
Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
I just can't believe how much this thread side tracked and the vultures swooped in on Zareen just because she voiced her opinion. Honestly guys, its her opinion.
(>>This has already been stated) And to be honest, if all you haters actually bothered to read it right, no where did she say romance ends quickly in a love marriage. People have mentioned their own perspective of romance which is fair enough. There are certainly different levels of romance that become live at certain stages and I'm sure Zareen understands that. Please untwist your knickers and don't hate on someone just because they voiced their opinion.
To all the smartass posters, will you clever lot give it a rest? Please?
Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
OK i'll agree with Zareen on this. The supposdely 'enlightened, being able to see the pros and cons of a situation' crowd seems hell bent on seeing only the cons and nitpicking for no apparent reason other than to justify their own positions to themselves. Ganging up on someone with a contrasting opinion is quite typical and i've seen it many times.
Disclaimer: I'm not referring to all who disagreed with Zareen. Some have expressed their opinions quite decently.
I don't think this had anything to do with her opinion...more her presentation of her opinion. If you read back, its obvious why anyone would have an issue with it. Her posts went from somewhat-normal to nasty in a matter .5 seconds. You cannot expect people to respect you when you are not giving it...this is common sense.
As for the topic, looking at the current state of affairs in Pakistan and allover the world for that matter with respect to marriage...its foolish to think an arranged marriage or love marriage would produce more or less romance. People who had love marriages would get annoyed with anyone who said that...why wouldn't they? Its judgmental and no one likes being judged or having their relationship judged. This isn't rocket science and I don't know why anyone wouldn't see that coming.
Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
^ I guess it is.
Let me give you an example.
:)
Now please don't get offended because I didn't say ALL...I said MOST. I am not generalizing, merely stating my opinion according to what I have seen. Please don't jump down my throat because I just annoyed the daylights outta you all by sounding so ignorant of what happens outside my four walls. Its just my opinion.
Re: Expecting romantic love from an arranged marriage?
I haven't read every post, but have you guys settled on what constitutes an arranged marriage? A very formal, minimal contact arrangement of our parents' generation would have a chance of two partners not being very compatible in terms of personality and likes/dislikes. They would have a similar background (presumably), which will probably ensure a relatively happy marriage, but perhaps not the best.
Nowadays, I think more and more marriages are "arranged" in the sense that the couple is introduced by family, but meets each other beforehand to decide on compatibility. In this case, it's a lot like a love marriage.
