Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Haha actually if she has an incessant headache, the man should maybe work on his skills as a lover.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
- I am allowed
- I can
- I want to
- Variety is always good.
Now go ahead and bring your rebuttal.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
haha
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
If I can treat them both equally and I can support them both financially and other ways ofcourse I will have more than one wife.
I don't need to justify myself to you, my God has allowed it.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
hmm.. I would never be able to another shaadi.. I will love my wife in every condition.. i know it is allowed by Allah but at the day of judgement i have to answer my Allah if i was fair to both my wives or not.. and i don't think i have the ability to be fair and just.
Also, what if the problem is with me? then what?
( i think this is a possiblity too right? )
any thoughts?
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
^ Ansoon, what kind of problems do you have? Lets discuss. It helps to disucss it among friends.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Agar mard mein koi aisi wesi kammi ho to ussey biwi ko talaaq day deni chahiyey, ab biwi ke do khawand to nahein na ho saktey?
You are right about the fair bit, it’d be very hard for most men these days, the men in the olden days were different, I remember a story about someone from my village who had two wives, one day he bought two melons and cut them both in half, somebody in the bazaar asked him “why are you cutting them” he replied “I’ll give half from each melon to both my wives” the other person asked “why don’t you just give them a whole melon each instead of two halves from two different melons” the old dude replied “what if one turns out to be sweet whilst the other one bland? It wouldn’t be fair.”
Those men had it sussed whilst nowadays we’d just be more inclined towards the hotter one.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
So where is PCG when you need a good fight? :)
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Rolling her eyes somewhere, while she exercises her fingers for all the typing she will be doing in a bit............
lol
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
A married woman also answering the potential question using Kaleems formula:
- I am not allowed - but when did that stop anybody if they really “wanted” to do something.
- I can
- I want to
- variety is always good.
(ps personally I do not believe in polygamy)
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Kaleem bhai .. I ask Allah to help me in easy and tough situtations .. Allahumdulliah i don’t have any problem and inshaAllah i won’t.. but if i did then i would do what is best for my wife and what she wants.. might be mighty hard for me but i believe that Allah doesn’t put anyone through any problem that he/she can’t handle..
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Rajhan.. i know what you mean.. i tell you of ppl in this day and age who fear Allah alot and have the great level of Iman (atleast in my opinon) .. i think its nature.. we humans can’t be fair.. pick any topic of human life and you will easily see that we humans have been biased..
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
I read this the other day so I think I should share it:
A man who has two wives, but does not give them equal treatment, will find half his body lost (paralysed) on the Day of Judgement.
Hadith of Tirmidhi on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.
And its impossible to treat them equally cuz the Quran says so.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
my cousin's neighbor had two wives. one of the wives had a son and the other didn't. and late at night you could hear the two wives fighting. i bet its hard for wives whose husband has other wives.
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No one is trying to stop anyone from doing anything. We are discussing here the fact that Allah has said a man is allowed to marry upto four women.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Hasn't this been discussed already? Anyway, whoever defends the idea of polygamy is nothing but an inconsiderate ass. Thanks.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
Jackie - When they don’t have a say or a choice, I bet it is hard, too, and I would be bitching right along with the other. I bet if women were given a choice and a reason (other than “she’s hotter” 
) things would go a lot smoother. I know if another woman was introduced into my house now, I would not be a pleasant or happy person (to say the very least). But if she was when we were deciding about more children and it was a mutual decision, then no problem. If I got a terminal disease, then again, if I was included in the decision, then no problem.
I think the thing people forget is inclusion. If anyone is just brought into the house (man or woman) and the other person is not included in that decision, the other person is going to be resentful. Mo3 and I seriously considered this option because we cared enough about the person we were with and they cared enough to ask us. Personally, I know a couple involved in polygamy and it works for them. Everyone knew this was what they guy wanted and this first wife was involved in the decision and in the process of selecting the next wife. The second wife knew up front that the first wife was alpha (in charge).
It depends on your level of security and your level of tolerance.
And sometimes your level of love for the other person.
But on the other hand, including another wife because she’s a “hottie” is shallow and an insult to the wife you already have.
Bedtime for me, night
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
So your saying that Allah says that on one hand polygamy is halal and you can practice it given that you can fulfill the condition of treating them equally and on the other hand he tells us that none of us can meet that condition thus it is actually haram? That’s like saying that drinking alcohol is halal but if you drink it you’re commiting a sin.
Don’t you see a contradiction there? Allah says to marry two, three, or four but if you think you will not be able to deal justly with them then only one. So it is halal there is not question about that. Now being just for the man means that he must be just between his wives interms of all the things which are in his control like spending money, time etc. But not all things are in the control of the man like love and desire and so obviously he cannot be just in this regard. In the end even if he is just to his wives in which he has control over he will still be unjust because not all things are under his control.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
I’m not defending the idea of polygamy because it is not my idea. The Quran clearly mentions that polygamy is halal so if you want to think that whoever agrees to what Allah has told us is an ass then I guess there really is no point in arguing because we are just basing our answers from the Quran, which we consider to be exactly the word of God.
Re: Excusable Reasons for Polygamy
I won't deny it. To me, a fertile human being is a better human being.
The only comment that really hit me hard was this one - by mad sci. I'm surprised maddie. I thought you were a better person than this.
After this absolutely horrifying comment, I dont think I have the energy to rebuttle in this thread for like another 24 hours.