I have never meant that all women need to accept their husbands taking second wives. I clarified my position in this thread. My position is that in a community/family where monogamy is the norm then a man from such a background REQUIRES his first wife's permission for a second marriage. And she does NOT have to give permission. Thos is in Shariah.
When I said women should accept their husbands taking more wives then I only meant those women who come from families where polygamy is the norm. Such women have no excuse of avoiding it (unless they put a no-second wife clause in the marriage contract) because in a community where polygamy is the norm, the husband does not need his first wife's permission for a second marriage.
Its usually the same scholars who say that a Niqab is only optional who say that women have no right to avoid polygamy (i.e Hanafis). Its the scholars who say that Niqab is fardh who are the ones that allow women to avoid polygamy.(i.e Hanbalis).
So you have to learn to compromise. You cannot get everything in life.
We MUST follow the strongest opinion. Blind following is not permissible in our religion. The Christians and Jews did the same with their scholars. Whatever their rabbis and priests made haram for them and made halal for them they took. This is why the Quran says that the Jews and Christians took their scholars and rabbis as their lords. We MUST follow the strongest opinion. The one with the most evidence from the Quran and Sunnah.
Whether or not they accept their husbands taking another wife is UP TO THEM whether you like it or not.. A woman can divorce if she is unhappy or no longer loves her husband..
Are you living in Saudi Arabia by any chance because your posts are coming across as very anti-women and you're deliberately not talking about our rights.. You're taking the most rigid hardline view of Islam and saying it's the 'strongest' opinion just because it's what you believe..
I KNOW a man doesn't need permission, I've already said that but for the last time just as he has the right to take a second wife she has the right to choose not to be part of that arrangement.. I don't know why that is so hard for you to understand..
You chose to stay with a husband who took a second wife for whatever reason and that's down to you but you have no right to criticise or look down on those women who exercise their right not to..
To be on the safer side while being evaluated for jannah.
I am sorry, but source for our law is Quran and Prophet (PBUH). What you call 'madhabs' are guidelines and need not be strictly followed if I believe that they cross boundaries of logic and common sense. The extremists claim to be following strictest interpretation of shariah as well.
How about this.... A person should get married as soon as he/she is financially, physically and emotionally capable of and finds a suitable match?
What you call 'madhabs' are guidelines and need not be strictly followed if I believe that they cross boundaries of logic and common sense. The extremists claim to be following strictest interpretation of shariah as well.
naa bhai..... if you ain't hanafi, you going against the mainstream,and if you do so, you are a fitna and destined for hell.......
I’m not sure where you live, but in most developed parts of the world ( I guess you’re not in a small village,you clearly have access to a computer and internet!), education is now nearly mandatory in order to get a job to obtain a source of income.
In the prophet’s time period, there were no colleges, there were no masters degrees, no doctorates, no proper knowledge on how to practice medicine, no institutions of knowledge like universities at every corner. So to apply the practice of marrying early in the teen years to present time period, is a downright fallacy.
The point is not that women at the time were married at 13, so why not do that today. The point is, that the women were married once they were at an age where they could assume the responsibilities of being a wife, and mother. It’s the concept of responsibility at a certain age that gets carried on in Islam, not an absolute age.
BTW, the Prophet himself did not marry at 13. He married at 20 something, to a woman who is 20 years older than him. Now I wonder if your son at the age of 25 fell in love with his boss, who is about YOUR age, whether you would be so willing to hand over your son to such a woman. I guess it’s easier to churn out daughters and hand them out like prize ribbons at puberty and fool yourself into thinking you’re following Islam.
Remember there is a lot in the Quran and hadith about marrying when you are ready to assume responsibility. So even today, that is location dependent. In Manhattan, you may not be financially independent and afford a home for your wife until 30 minimum. In some villages in interior sindh, you are financially independent and able to make your own thatch roof top mud house by the time you’re 13 because you just have to put some mud and bricks together with straw. :k: Those kids aren’t busy doing phd dissertations to get university jobs to afford a small apartment in Hoboken, NJ!!!
So please, before you start spewing out incorrect knowledge on how to practice Islam, and before you keep propelling our muslim progeny into further medieval thought, think about what you’re saying, and what Islam wants you to do, and think about WHY, and maybe then it will make sense. It’s not the age at which you get married that is dictated in Islam, it’s WHEN YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.
And if you want to hold your 13 year old daughter from obtaining an education and bettering herself, so that she can write half a paragraph to actually even challenge most of the smart people who post here, who are smart because they’ve schooled themselves into their 20’s, and DID NOT get married at 13 to make parathas for a man YOUR age, then by all means, they’re your kids, you can keep them in ignorance. But then do not get upset when you see the muslim ummah in jahaaliyat, because you’re just contributing to the mess today.
Marrying girl's at 13 is also a practice of the kuffar at the time, no one talks about that part of history. Oh wait we were too busy planning weddings at 13 to be in history class to begin with!
And if they can still be supported by their parents (who are willing to support them), then why not?
Another point:
Why is that all girls who want to marry have to have high education or even a job before they get married? If their husbands can support these girls and take care of them then so be it.
this would work for people who just want a spouse at all costs and are willing to take the gamble on what the spouse will be like when they grown up, if they will do well in school or flunk out, if they will be a responsible adult or one who will forever live under their parent’s support.
but maybe you are the kind of person who buys an egg to hatch instead of a chicken and has to plan his chicken biryani steps six months in advance.
I am against this generalized view that people have to have high education or job before they get married.
What loss are we talking about if they have parents who have money and willing to support young couples?
A lot of parents also pay for education for their children. Is there a guarantee that their children will not flunk in school and will always become responsible adults?
All I am saying is that people should be able to marry early if this is possible in their individual lives.
Actually this example works for those who say education or job is necessary before marriage.
There are people who like to eat biryani now and not wait till the eggs (people without high education or job) are hatched, and then the choozay (people with education) becomes murghi (people with education and job).
I can give many examples where especially for girls the higher education money is just wasted and they are doing the same thing as less educated girls..feeding babies and changing diapers. This happens even in non-desi cultures. These women either don't have to or have, or have no plan to pursue any career. All they have the certificates tucked in safely in their closets or hanging on the walls.
Well early marriages are allowed in our “deen” just like getting married to a divorcee …getting married to physically challenged people is allowed in our “deen” too …… there are so many things allowed in our deen but the thing is they are not compulsory…… anyways ......
The question pops up in mind here is people discussing the consequences of early marriages I wonder why they don’t discuss the consequences of unmarried people getting married to divorced people?
I can give many examples where especially for girls the higher education money is just wasted and they are doing the same thing as less educated girls..feeding babies and changing diapers. This happens even in non-desi cultures. These women either don't have to or have, or have no plan to pursue any career. All they have the certificates tucked in safely in their closets or hanging on the walls.
Even if they don't work now they'll have the extra security that a good education provides.. It means they'll have something to fall back on if things were to go wrong as well as the fact that education in itself broadens the mind..
Even if they don't work now they'll have the extra security that a good education provides.. It means they'll have something to fall back on if things were to go wrong as well as the fact that education in itself broadens the mind..
I know this argument and have written before the similar argument. Career driven education is what you are talking about.
No problem with that except when the education is pursued only to get the degree or used as a means to get married.
A lot of less educated or uneducated men/ women (by our present standard) had broad view of the world and a lot of higher educated people still to this date are narrow minded.
Unfortunately high education does not make people broad minded. It is a myth.
My great-grandmother married to a 26 year old at 13. If my daughter tried that, her husband would be arrested and registered as a "sex offender" for life, never being permitted outside of the country, never getting a good job, every criminal and vigilante on the planet could download his name and address and kill him in his sleep. What a Muslim would call an affectionate marriage, an idiotic american would call "rape" and have her love thrown in jail, splitting up and destroying a family and ruining countless lives (wife, husband, children and their respective families).
This has to be one of hte sickest things I've read so far on thsi forum.
The question pops up in mind here is people discussing the consequences of early marriages I wonder why they don’t discuss the consequences of unmarried people getting married to divorced people?
Food for thought.
Because the individuals involved usually know what they are getting into by marrying a divorcee and vice versa, are doing so of their own accord and most significantly, are consenting adults, and not mere children of 13, which the OP seems to think is an appropriate age for marriage. Lets not be disingenuous, the OP isn't talking about the conventional "early marriage," but rather child marriage (because at puberty most people are, in fact, still children).
