There was this 17-year-old brother that came to my husband weeping. He wanted to live a good halal life, and wanted to go overseas to study. He prayed five-times a day, stayed away from women, and even prayed tahajjud from time to time. His hormones were very high. He wanted desperately to get married. He had one major sin he committed time and again: masturbation. He’d stay away from that sin, and after two weeks he’s be distraught again. His parents agreed to marry him off, because the kid so badly wanted to stop sinning. The parents were poor and the boy had no money. Fasting wasn’t working either.
I told a sister about a single man that has memorized the Qur’an and wants to go overseas and study. She became excited until she found out he was only 17. After talking to her (with her brother present), she agreed to marry him. It’s been a year now, and mashallah, his depression is over. His sinning ended. The brother thanks me all the time whenever we talk. He’s so grateful to have a wife and that the sinning stopped. He told me that he actually became suicidal over his sinning.
There are so many single men. They do commit haraam, but I don’t think women can fully understand a man’s need for sex. Sometimes if you eliminate a man’s need for sex, it makes getting into the deen much easier.
There is a lot of psychological and health benefits from a good marriage. Being young, single and not going into haraam harms men. Having a lot of single men marauding around has not been good for Muslim countries. It’s not only for the sake of single young men, but society that’s damaged by single men, that single men need to get married.
Even the God-fearing single brothers really struggle with avoiding haram acts before their married. Thats why to prevent sins, young men are advised to marry young. When a man gets married, it becomes easier for him to focus on his deen without distractions.
Struggling with ones desires isnt just confined to impious brothers.
I lived in the Muslim world and will move back after my education. When I came back to America, I noticed a decrease in sexual assaults, not an increase. College-related assaults were 0 this year, and about 2 last year at my university. When you look at data from a decade ago, the numbers are much higher. Porn viewership by Muslims is higher than from non-Muslims. In Muslim magazines, they decided to post stories about girls being sexually abused by family and religious scholars (England).
This particular point, I don’t even get why you dispute it. There is so much literature in scientific journals on what happens to the body at high-levels of testosterone. They even injected women with male sex hormones to see what happens.
Think of it this way, what happens when people get hungry? The more a person starves, the more liberal a person becomes in eating objectionable material. People become cannibals. A lack of food turns people into animals. It’s the same with sex. A lack of sex can turn men into animals.
In many Muslim countries, even when the dowries are low, men still can’t marry. The unemployment is very high. It wasn’t too long ago I was in San’aa and women were begging on the streets.
While sex is increasing among Americans, they same isn’t true for sex crimes. Here is an article: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-08-24-sex-crimes-cover_x.htm
If the united states got ride of statutory rape cases and cases involving underage girls sending their naked pictures to their boyfriends, sex crimes would be even lower.
It’s just not true, at least in America, that sex crimes are increasing. In Muslim countries, things are just getting worse.
One just has to come to a country like Egypt or even Pakistan to see that the men who pester women on the street are the unmarried, frustrated brothers. Groping of women etc is a serious issue that effects many egyptian women, and its mainly cos Egyptain men marry pretty late - society is negatively effected by too many single men.
Incest does happen in ultra-conservative Muslim societies. Because a single man is full of hormones and has no outlet, he’ll force himself on a relative.
Again, people fail to understand the male sex drive. They’ll be guys watching girls on TV, internet, etc. If they can’t get that, they’ll turn on family. If they can’t get that, they’ll turn on their own gender.
The most important thing is to get our Muslim men married. A lot of these men also act out and have harsh hearts. Considering they are full of testosterone, and don’t have a halal way to alleviate it, they’ve become irritable.
I have family and friends that live in Egypt, Pakistan and Saudia Arabia - many have spoken about issues to do with homosexuality, incest, pornagraphy, rape etc becoming an increasing issue amongst the Muslims, because due to cultural reasons (or financial reasons) men marry late.
What’s odd is, some of the threads, when they speak of early marriage (meaning under 18), the attention is focused on girls. The people that really need to get married early are men.
Early marriage is sunnah. The Prophet advised men to marry young. And young does not mean 24, 25 etc. it means around 15-17. Most of the Sahabah married at that age. In fact one Sahabi called Jabir bin Abdullah married a widow when he was 15/16.
Society and family members can help support their sons financially for early marriage. The prophet said that food for two is enough for three, food for three is enough for four etc.
and children bring their own rizq
