Re: Duties of a wife.??
:rotfl: women are so complicated .
Duties of a wife.??
Lol I give up btw I have asked my husband ..I woudnt be here if he wasnt more confused than I am....I just don't get it how are their no rules....Islam is a way of life I'm sure wifes duties are stated SOMEwhere ... All I'm asking is what is a wife and y is a wife
Re: Duties of a wife.??
don't over complicate things for yourself...if your you and your husband are happy with the way you are...great...if it ain't broke, don't fix it...
if there is dissatisfaction on either side, than change whatever is not working...start with baby steps. if you feel you need more organization in your life, than make a schedule of tasks...housecleaning is not going right? hire a cleaning lady.
why does "Islamic duties" have to play so heavily in this?
Re: Duties of a wife.??
The word absurd was used to describe your post which you clearly copy pasted so it wasn’t used towards you. You replied to a thread which asked for Islamic duties - so it indirectly your post says it is the Islamic view. Your post makes a women sound like a slave of her husband - so I don’t see how that is helpful advice. If a wife is suppose to make her husband happy then so is the husband.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
**Dress pleasantly/attractively**. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
Smell good!
Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or Amicable divorce
Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
Call his family often.
Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
Encourage him to do good deeds.
If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
Learn to make his favorite dish.
Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
**Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”**
Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
**Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.**
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
Brush your hair, everyday.
Don’t forget to do laundry.
Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it. ** **Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
STA bhai ap to meri trah smjdar nikley.
really ap ne jo batain likhi hn agr koi aurat in ko follow kry to gr jant bn jaye pr mera nei khial k 5% wives b aisa behave krti hon gi
Re: Duties of a wife.??
The word absurd was used to describe your post which you clearly copy pasted so it wasn't used towards you. You replied to a thread which asked for Islamic duties - so it indirectly your post says it is the Islamic view. Your post makes a women sound like a slave of her husband - so I don't see how that is helpful advice. If a wife is suppose to make her husband happy then so is the husband.
Give him a break already, his post was hilarious. I like STA's sense of humour.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Give him a break already, his post was hilarious. I like STA's sense of humour.
Yes, I can't stop laughing :/
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Re: Duties of a wife.??
oh god please don't think that Muslims can't be feminist and just because you won't cook or look perfect doesn't mean you're trying to rebel. A husband should help out his wife a wife is not his servant that his mother served up for him. I read an article somewhere long time ago that showed husbands and wives duties and it wasn't like what STA posted in fact thats just an unrealistic fantasy.
Totally agreed, STA's post was so long that I cdnt even finish it. Although I dnt think u can marry feminism with islam
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Totally agreed, STA's post was so long that I cdnt even finish it. Although I dnt think u can marry feminism with islam
What feminism is today and what feminism was a few decades ago are two different things. There are a lot of privileges that women worked hard for that the girls and women have easy now.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Duties of a wife:
Stay in the kitchen.
typical man !!
Re: Duties of a wife.??
STA, you forgot a couple:
-make sure to cut his food up into tiny pieces and spoon-feed it to him- he will love you more for helping him not to choke
-always make sure he has a clean diaper on so he doesn't become cranky and take his frustrations out on you
Re: Duties of a wife.??
LB: Point # 1 is taken.
Point # 2: excluded. Highness of cheap comment.
on serious note, it would be nice if you contribute meaningful opposition instead of fooling around.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
LB: Point # 1 is taken.
Point # 2: excluded. Highness of cheap comment.
on serious note, it would be nice if you contribute meaningful opposition instead of fooling around.
it was my turn
Re: Duties of a wife.??
the way people talk here you would think the wives and husbands are children o.O unrealistic much
Re: Duties of a wife.??
no no.. u are not getting it... my hobbies are ALL i am spending my time on:D.. i do every thing under the sun.. but only the things that i like and that has spoilt me.. now i just wana kno what i should HAVE to do as a wife.. i am looking for some organization in my life i guess... and want to feel like a good wife:D.
I don't get it, what have u been doing for 4 years?
Is your husband happy wiht you? If so, then why change anything. If not, best to discuss this with him....
Re: Duties of a wife.??
At the risk of being bombarded by rotten eggs…here goes: I read through STA’s list. Yes, all of it. GASP 
And some of the items on the list DO mention the point that the action should be MUTUAL. I did think that a few of them were a bit OTT…like racing with him and running out to greet him. Although “racing” can be seen as a challenge…or having some sort of playful competition with your spouse…and that CAN spice things up. A smiley greeting is more attractive than a frowny one which soon erupts into a litany of complaints. Excessive negativity is draining in any relationship, let alone marriage. As far as religious significance is concerned…WHO KNOWS?..maybe if we searched, we might even find some ahadith containing suggestions for marital life similar to the ones in STA’s list.
I do see some validity in STA’s list. It does include basic/common sense things that can easily be overlooked (or slacked off upon) in a marriage and their implementation can help the relationship. There ARE certain behaviors that women tend to engage in more…such as nagging (admit it, none of us, regardless of gender, likes to be nagged)…oh and asking “What are you thinking?”…I personally do find that annoying. Again, I do see some validity/logic in the list.
I think sometimes we forget that men and women are wired differently and we might expect the opposite gender to respond to us in a way similar to those of our gender…and that can cause problems in a relationship. Keeping the point of gender difference in mind…certain suggestions can be more applicable to women than men. For example, men usually aren’t in the habit of asking questions like “Is she prettier than me?” (I have a friend who did this often) that can be unhealthy (just an example). There are various ways to approach an issue.
I don’t agree with the idea that the list be geared solely toward women because, again, much of it applies to both genders. But I don’t see it as completely useless either. I think that it’s important to do nice things for your spouse and to show appreciation for them regularly …but I don’t support the idea of placing this pressure upon yourself to the point that the actions/gestures seem more robotic than natural, if that makes sense. It’s a two-way street…things go south when there’s rigidity/no compromise/lack of reciprocity.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Woman, I don't even get your question. First of all, it's too vague and then you continue to repeat it. If you're having issues with your husband, then say so....cuz that's what it sounds like. Or at least be more specific.
The Prophet SAWS used to mend his own clothes and help out with chores that even now are typically considered a "woman's job." I think that it can be problematic when you create rigid black and white lines because there's gonna be some gray. Those lines are gonna blur from time to time either due to circumstance or just plain goodness of human nature and the intimate dynamics of the relationship. Maybe instead of "duties of a wife"....you can try search searching "rights of a husband/wife in Islam"...and that might yield the "duties" of a wife.....sorta like a backward search.
I actually found the OP's question more irritating than STA's list.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
How about you sit with your spouse and discuss expectations and where you both can make compromises which would make both of you happier. Or is that too sensible? :-/
Re: Duties of a wife.??
i like ur dp .. ur cute