i have been married for four years mashAllah but i am still confused as of what the islamic duties of a wife are??.. is she supposed to be like a paid servant like ppl in pakistan think or is she an equal like ppl here in states think??.. i do realize none of these can be right but what IS a wife? What are her specific duties specially according to islam.. REAL confused!!!
Re: Duties of a wife.??
somewhere in between the two extremes :)
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
**Dress pleasantly/attractively**. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
Smell good!
Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or Amicable divorce
Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
Call his family often.
Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
Encourage him to do good deeds.
If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
Learn to make his favorite dish.
Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
**Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”**
Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
**Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.**
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
Brush your hair, everyday.
Don’t forget to do laundry.
Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
**
**Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Duties of a wife:
Stay in the kitchen.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Some of these things do make sense and are just what is expected but where are u getting all these things from? it seems like most of these are just the things u THINK wives should do... but these dont seem to be the duties.. like are u supposed to OBEY every thing the man says.. even if hes wrong?? ( acc to islam).. and what if he gets really mad and get in ur face? or pulls/pushes u?? i mean .. is a wife like a daughter in the sense that she is her parents responsibility and they can treat her and make laws for her as they wish.. or is she an adult and actually can have a say??.. also in short i am looking for like 7 most important things that are DUTIES of a wife.. not what would be nice to do. Thanks
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Re: Duties of a wife.??
i like the above. its true, i do have an inner feminist trying to beat her way out, but i respect this is our religion,and i am a muslim. alhumdulilah.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
oh god
please don't think that Muslims can't be feminist and just because you won't cook or look perfect doesn't mean you're trying to rebel.
A husband should help out his wife a wife is not his servant that his mother served up for him.
I read an article somewhere long time ago that showed husbands and wives duties and it wasn't like what STA posted in fact thats just an unrealistic fantasy.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
^ Agree. Islam is all about equality in marriage. You're two halves to a whole. Each has their duties and responsibilities, the link kakee posted is pretty accurate in that. And nadz, who says Muslims can't be feminists? =/
Re: Duties of a wife.??
walk like an elephant? wth?
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Lmao, I just noticed that too. Hahahaha.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
lolll XD
Re: Duties of a wife.??
if u dont want to cook dont expect hubby dearest to be employed .. n give u money to get nice stuff .. yeh equal wala bahana yahan nehi chalega ..
Re: Duties of a wife.??
if u dont want to cook dont expect hubby dearest to be employed .. n give u money to get nice stuff .. yeh equal wala bahana yahan nehi chalega ..
what this lovely girl here is trying to say if you don't want to cook get a job and work so you can pay for what you want and hire a cook.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
she doesnt want to do her part in the marraige ..
Re: Duties of a wife.??
maybe soem people here are not accustomed enough of paksitani traditions thus are comign on a paksitani forum n sayign things that are not done in our culture ..
Re: Duties of a wife.??
I bet the elephant part is written by the same guy who wrote the sex guide book........
Re: Duties of a wife.??
STA: Your post is absurd unless you have an authentic source don't try to make something sound like Islam.
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Walk like an elephant? 
My neighbour wont be very happy with that 
Re: Duties of a wife.??
Kitchen -> Bed -> Repeat