*drum roll please* western vs eatern girls

Lifestyle Relationships
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OK … so i’ve been reading soooo many things about paki girls in pakistan and paki girls abroad … and it’s driving me nuts … i am completely new to this concept and i had no idea that this is what’s going on … i am assuming most of the people on this forum are … well to make it easier i will call paki girls from pakistan “rasheeda” and paki girls from abroad “rukhshanda” :meeno: …
so most of the women here are rukhshandaz … lol … and i am a rasheeda-turned-rakhshanda since a year … and no i am not an imported bride …

my confusion that i have developed after being on this forum: are rakhshandaz career-oriented, forward-thinking, super-educated babes … OR … are they docile, religious, uber-traditional what’s the opposite of a babe? … and similarly for the rasheedas … do rakhshandaz think that rasheedaz are uneducated, uncultured, unangraized folks or what?

see i went to a very liberal private girl’s school … and we had lots of girls coming from abroad that time of life when parents think of going back home to get their children associated with their roots … and MOST of them were such docile girls … we’d be like where have you come from? super hijabs and soft spoken and SUPER shy … on the other hand of the spectrum were the few who were extremely modern … one time i remember our administrator sent a letter to the parents of these two sisters to get them some decent shalwar kameez stitched becuz they’d be wearing side-slit skirts and the sort … even my own cousins that lived abroad, and came to pakistan for holidays … they’d be liek why are you speaking in english to us … we can speak urdu … and i’m just like .. i’m not speaking english to impress you or because you come from an english speaking place … but because pakistan is ALSO an english speaking place … the laws are written in english forGodsake! this is how the culture is here .. and you cant say whether its good or bad … becuz it just IS this way … my own sister is worst at urdu! she cant speak ONE complete sentence in urdu to save her life! and then girl’s coming from abroad would be exempt from pak-studies and urdu … making my sister feel horrible and wanting to get a fake british passport … lol … she was 15 then! :meeno: …
i dont know how rakhshandaz perceive rasheedaz .. but times have radically changed in pakistan … for women as well … the insecurities there are not just women related … even men have to be more careful … it’s the overall crisis the state is going through thanks to our beloved government …
and eversince i’ve become a rakhshanda myself … believe me my rasheeda side is so terrified to mingle with rakhshandaz on the road becuz they seem so uninviting … the good ones are hiding presumably as i’ve been told … luckily after a year i found GS .. and a few good souls God bless
in ways i feel pakistan is way more relaxed and modern … and if someone goes abroad and tells their cousins that OMG you guys are so boring for not going to bars and clubs … it doesnt mean that they do the same back home … it’s an anticipation of a culture and the differences that are highlighted … although i am horrified at teh news of this underground club being opened in karachi … ugh mad … when i came here (where i am) … going to a club was the last thing on my mind … had other issues to deal with … but it was definitely something i wanted to see … and i did … but not becuz i have a bad character and OMG and all that … you see so much on television in pakistan … and you just want to go see it for real … it was horrible and drove me nuts … NAIVER AGAIN
oh and yes … one more confusion … on one hand rakhshandaz drive men like Pushtoon Warrior to pakistan to find a girl .. but on the other hand there are some who also hold the moral flag and pass statements about how rasaheedaz are with their burkaz and all and how rakhshandaz are way more religious … and in that sense then i think PW should find someone in the west becuz they are more religious ..
so i am in terrible confusion about this entire story of rakhshandaz and rasheedaz … please tell me whats your take on it … becuz really i am at the brink of building the berlin wall all over again … but this time between pakistan and the west … to stop any kind of import export … :chai: …

to make it better … i’d like the “manzoors” and the “majids” to also feel free to comment

manzoor = paki men abroad
majid = paki men in pakistan

p.s. sorry for the long post … but i just had to …

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lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
lets give rakhshandaz and manzooz some funky western names.

manzoor = Moe, is In.. hey I am moe.
Rakhshands = Roxy–It would have looked even better, if you had named her Rukhsana. Then we could have call her Roxana.

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

lolz

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

The club comment was mine and I made it because its true from what Ive seen. Most of the girls Ive come across that have come from Pakistan save a total of 2 are much more modern then even myself. I dont see anything else to make me think otherwise, so what else would I think? The relatives we had visiting from Pakistan wanted to go clubbing and gambling. Ive lived here all my life and havent set foot in a casino. The fashions that are imported here also come from Pakistan...sleeveless, capris, tank tops, etc. What else is there to think?

The burqa comment was also mine. It wasnt a judgement...it was a fact. I wasnt looking at a situation and assuming things for myself, it is what it is. Non mehram are still non mehram, even if they're standing inside the house. Taking off your burqa in front of them because you're home is still wrong. I saw with multiple women...all new from Pakistan. Again, what else am I supposed to think?

Just like you made a long post about how US girls feel about Pakistani girls, let me enlighten you on the past couple of months of my life.

Im dealing with quite a few new imports these days and their attitude towards the ABCD. They all think I dont know what the heck Im doing in the kitchen or with my life because I was born and raised here.

They dont think I can cook - I learned at 11 yrs

They dont think I can speak Urdu - I was taught, reading, writing and speaking

They dont think I can read Quran - I finished at 9 yrs

They dont even think I know the difference between roti and naan - I learned to make roti at 11 yrs

They seem to think my parents raised us with no morals or values - parents have to work extra hard here to create that environment whereas in Pakistan, its already there

"Yahan ki larkiyan to bas aisi hi hoti hein...bigri huwi...Reha aap shayad exception hongi"

Thats what Ive heard...the exception part just got added on for my benefit of course.

Maybe Im just mad because Ive been dealing with all these preconceived ideas about me and my upbringing. I dont have anything agaisnt the Rasheedaz as you say...I have something against the idea that US born and raised girls are wild, have no roots and havent been raised properly.

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Could not agree with you more. wanna be modern paki are sooooooo messed up. They think clubbing and partial nudity is being advance.
We have seen clubs and how moronic those places are, how other brown ppl hit on girls who come with their BFs. Its plain ugly at most part. It pisses me off when some wanna be tells me "whats wrong with clubbing"

And PS if I get a wife from Pakistan who wants to wear sleeveless and low LOW neck, wants to show cleavage, I am going to take her to nude beach for a weak. I mean I have no issues being natural. I would make her join me for r a weak to get that showing-skin-thing off her system.

Those paki "Roxanas" make me sick in the stomach,

the thing swe despise for being filthy, they carry it like a sacred thing, in their heart. And show off.

U are such an ABCD haha
naan is thicker

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@PSquared

Wow....I am actually quite impressed mA.

I agree that the stereotype that women back home have of US born girls can be v. wrong.

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PSquared aap jo keh rahay ho ... i will not disagree with it because those people DO EXIST ... the kind you are referring to ... my only point is that such people exist on both sides ... so what's the entire hassle about rakhshandaz being that sort or the rasheedaz ...
but i have to disagree with your point that the fashions like sleeveless and capris are being imported ... it's not as straight-forward as that ... it's a cycle ... and i think that media is playing a very evil role ... and i cant stress on it much ... and cant do enough projects on this fact (i am an artist/designer and write articles too) ...
sab log aisa nahi sochtay k aap logoun ko kuch kerna nahi ata ... i think it's the other way around for the most part ... I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING till the day i came here ... and i was very well aware of it ... i cant say about those oblivious people who forget about the maids and the cooks in their house ...
and as iv said in my post ... that girls abroad seem more religious than those back home ... but there is an obvious reason behind it ... and we cant just resort to blaming someone of how they are .... and this is a change i myself have undergone ... and i was quite intimidates in the beginning to find people here (beyond GS, not just here) with even their casual conversations dripping with Islamism ... adn the reason i think you'v'e also mentioned ... k jab ap pakistan mein aur her taraf aik cheez ho rahi hai ... to you tend to become more casual about it ... for example roza rakhna ... but believe me ... jab say me yahan ayi houn ... i too have had those feelings for holding onto my identity ... mein chahoun roza na rakhoun, namaz na parhoun ... but these are the things that define me as who i am ... and in this society, these are the things that make me unique ... and this brand new feeling of being where your morals are not the majority ... you work more hard to practice them ...
i too had a rishta some time back from some guy in the US ... i just had a flat out no to it .. and i think even the MIL-on-hunting-spree was not so impressed by me ... i had too much of an opinion and completely carefree of the fact k larkay walay aye hain ... becuz i hate this concept ...
so the imported brides that you have to deal with are a very specific kind that the foreign MILs pick and choose from in pakistan ... the kind who are perhaps not aware and in oblivion ... all the people i know in pakistan at least ... none of them thinks the way you are projecting the image of pakistanis ... which clearly means that there are better people out there ...
and also ... i said in my post that the girls who used to come to paki during their school years, MOST of the were the docile, shy, religious kind ...

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

Why do people (esp women themselves) put women in black and white categories.

It's always like this versus that. Homemaker vs. career orientated. good mom versus bab mom. ABCD vs. FOB. Hijabi versus skank.

Come ON!

Each women is very individual.

Stupid non ending women versus women debate.

The Hi/Bye Thread
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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

^ I was thinking the same thing ... and yes, I have been guilty of this too. Honestly speaking, you cannot compare the two. Each have their own positives and negatives and each is their own individual person. It's stupid to compare the two groups. Everybody needs to drop the superiority attitude.

Wht r u doing ?
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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

^ this debate is new to me ... perhaps you've been going on with it for a lot longer .. this entire attitude is new to me .. i didnt know these superiorities even exist until i came on this forum ...
and my purpose is not to put them in black in white ... but to dissipate this contrast that i am witnessing here ... and what iv been seeing for a while now ...

I want to ask single people here
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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

farrah - I understand your reasoning but you can go through the life threads and see a pattern of women pinning themselves in one corner

It surprises me that in this day and age pakistani women want to "THOOP A LABEL ON THEIR FOREHEAD" -

You are what you make yourself to be - whether you are eastern or western or southern or northern - nothing defines you.

If you start identifying sterotypes - you are more likely to classify yourself in one too.

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one day we got to start a thread with all those egreeziFied terms. :omg:

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

it just majorly pisses me off to read stereotypes created here regarding pakistani girls ... i am not defining any of them ... just posting what i am seeing ... and trying to tell those to not think like that cuz everyone aint the same ...
i am not a desi or a freshie or a newbie ... and people should stop saying such things ... because these things in itself are creating a stereotype in my head about rakhshandaz and manzoors then ... which is going to make it really difficult for me to cope up living in this society that i am rather new to ...
maybe there are more threads like this ... but those threads also dont stop coming (especially recently) that are debating over how either side is ... and what kind of a girl should a pushtoon man from USA get ...

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so is that a eastern or a western thing to say :slight_smile: That’s what gray people in the middle talk like :slight_smile: neither english nor urdu!

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:bummer:

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

I think any kinda wannabees are annoying. Especially the club-going-see-through-clothes-wearing-inglish taalking-wannabee-western-so-called-"muslim"-girls. There I said it! Bite me :p

I know we shouldn't "label" people but these stereotypes exist, its natural for us to generalize, maybe not right but we do it anyways.

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I know the gray blend is very interesting.

I remember when I moved here we used to find people talking in urdu/punjabi/english all in one small sentence amazing!

Sing a Song according 2 Ur Mood !!!!!
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tell me about it!!
I tell you man.. they don't have a limit to their stupidity. I know few of those

Friend's Ex wife.
Friend's cousin.

If I tell you about their thinking you would be surprised.

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

Can you ever generalize these things?

This is about a 1,000th thread on the topic.

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Re: drum roll please western vs eatern girls

^ everybody is still doing exactly the same that i am trying to break … :emmy:
so even after a 1,000th thread … they still dont learn :nook:

so let the rasheedaz keep thinking of how horrible rukhshandaz are :hinna: and vice versa