Dress Code

[sweet_liar]

Re: Dress Code

what to do if u dress conservative and the guy wants u dress in tight jeans and skirt?

images/smilies/confused.gif

anyway, guys don't say anything before marriage and if they do they change thier ideas later. so how could anyone be sure on how to respond to it?

[sweet_liar]

Re: Dress Code

what to do if u dress conservative and the guy wants u dress in tight jeans and skirt?
anyway, guys don’t say anything before marriage and if they do they change theirideas later. so how could anyone be sure on how to respond to it?

[hiccup]

Re: Dress Code

Its so cute when unemployed mullahs have to hide behind *motarmah *uff sahibaan in the stead of making valid points or even making coherant points. Whatever sways your swings.

Personally, if told to change the way I dress - I’d consider it, however if it because he was judging my religion on the manner of my dress I doubt we would have gotten it togeather to begin with. Fraggle.

[system]

Re: Dress Code

I have had to change certain things. Length of my kameez it to my knees now, no short sleeves in public, dupatta in public and some other stuff.

Dupatta pisses me off no end and thats one of the reasons im always dying to go home lol i can be without it. So i havent been changed, im just doing as they want whilst im under their roof…

Girls, let me warn ya. If you think changing is easy peasy lemon squeasy its NOT. Think a hundred times before you put yourself in a situation whereby you might have to adapt your ways. Its so much harder done than said !!

Currupt Angel, make your stance CLEAR !!! These little things can be soooooooooooooo annoying later i swear. LOL my inlaws would lvoe someone like you…sort it all out before marriage. Get it across to mummy jee that you are the way you are and if she wants a different kinda bahoo she should find one instead of moulding you into her ideal. Dont make the mistake of going ahead with these issues unresolved…it will cause so much friction

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Dress Code

@CurruptAngel

I didn’t have chai with him but I did have a talk with him and told him that I don’t mind changing how I look a little for HIM and also asked him if he has a problem with my dressing(he does actually have a problem with me wearing loose clothes) so I said I’ll change that but not how his mom likes…I don’t wear fitted clothes and don’t like too much makeup(he doesn’t either) …I told him I don’t plan to change SO MUCH in the future either, that’s how I am and I told him if he has a problem with my looks or he’s worried about ‘ammi kia sochengi ya doosre log kia sochenge’ then he should really find a new girl because I’ve my own personality and this is how I dress and look!

the thing is, he doesn’t have much of a problem…he’s fine with me doing my thing but his mom wants me to change A LOT…I don’t know how to communicate with her regarding this issue, I don’t want to be harsh to her…but I do want to find a way to tell her that I wanna look good but for my hubby to be only and wanna be myself!

i would just put the “blame” on him. Tell her that your husband doesnt like make up and clothes that are too tight. Afterall, after Allah (swt) it’s your husband’s pleasure you seek.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Dress Code

@CurruptAngel

That’s scary,

he does love me the way I am, he’s said it a billion times, plus if he didn’t he wouldn’t still wanna marry me after over 4 years. We have gone through many hard times just to get his parents to give us permission to marry.

I still wanna make his family happy because they’re his parents…I will do whatever I can to please them but I still want them to respect me too. Khair, your idea is good…I’ll ask him to talk to her and see what happens.

another idea…perhaps you can dress the way she likes ONLY when you visit her..you know..to make her happy…that is what a chalak girl would do

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Dress Code

@~Tikhi Jalebi~

why not find a girl who already dresses properly according to your standards btw that wouldnt be 4, what you would do is 2.

because sometimes one can find a girl that has everything he may want…except the fact that she doesnt dress properly.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Dress Code

@skhan

Personally I think it’s pretty ridiculous to expect your wife to completely change her way of dressing after marriage. If it was that much of an issue for you then you should have made it clear in the first place, BEFORE marriage.

So I guess its no. 2

but what happens when one changes their views after marriage? obviously if one has gotten a bit more religious after marriage for example…they are going to try and get their significant other to do the same.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Dress Code

@armughal

a person who cant dress properly will definitely not have any religion inclination, so no use of wasting ur life with such a person, find someone more concerned about religion…

a lot of ppl change.
my khala used to wear sleeveless shirts when my khalu married her. My khalu being the good man he was nvr said a word to her about it. he just continued to be the religious man he was. (btw he didnt know she wore sleeveless when he married her) after 18 yrs of marriage she decided to take on the hijab…all on her own. Now mashallah she is so religious.

[ashtray]

Re: Dress Code

I have no issues at how a woman dresses, but I know my family may have. I will surely discuss it if I know a girl wears short length skirts and low necks. I wouldnt want my family to be disrespected because of the way my wife dresses, and if she is not flexible enough to change then I am sorry I dont see her being flexible on other issues. We, desis, do not live isolated lives, and it does matter what others say. I think dressing up properly for the kind of people you are living with is more a matter of good manners than religion. Even Goris change their dress code when they visit Pakistan and middle east.

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Dress Code

@ashtray

I wouldnt want my family to be disrespected because of the way my wife dresses, and if she is not flexible enough to change then I am sorry I dont see her being flexible on other issues. We, desis, do not live isolated lives, and it does matter what others say. I think dressing up properly for the kind of people you are living with is more a matter of good manners than religion. Even Goris change their dress code when they visit Pakistan and middle east.

Tu theek keh raha hai!

A good man/woman would be considerate and respectful regardless of his/her views.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Dress Code

Ashtray, very few desi ladies (muslim) will wear short skirts with plunging necklines. Lets be realistic here. We're talking about in-laws having issues over "she wears jeans, what a BOLD girl".

[ashtray]

Re: Dress Code

PCG, as long as the jeans doesnt show the camel toe, it is not a problem i think. I am sure you know how to dress modestly if that is the requirement, harr jagah jhagRa acha nahi hota.

I dont know what my parents would object to, if they raise an issue to my wife wearing jeans, I will ask her to change it for the respect of my parents. Ye koi baRi baat nahi aye na hi aurat ki be-izzati hae.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Dress Code

camel toe?

You know, on second thought, I dont even want to know.

[ashtray]

Re: Dress Code

nahi nahi poocho

[Fayz]

Re: Dress Code

@ashtray

** if she is not flexible enough to change then I am sorry I dont see her being flexible on other issues. **

Hear! Hear

[cat-woman]

Re: Dress Code

damn, what is happening to the gigolos of gupshup? becoming traditional in their old age?

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Dress Code

@cat-woman

damn, what is happening to the gigolos of gupshup? becoming traditional in their old age?

tum kiyon jal jal kai kaali ho rahi ho?

[Deep_Throat]

Re: Dress Code

@MYwish

asa for guys, most guys go for girls hwo are really mod scott and stylish and then try to change them after marriage, its especially true for pakistani guys who place great importance on looks.

Because this is how you can change women. Kisee parosan ko to raah mein yeh kahne se rahe ke apne kapron ka style change karo :o

Now to the main question:
I will go for option number 1. Naa maanegee to jeena haraam kardoonga uska bhee aur apna bhee

[Afia]

Re: Dress Code

I used to wear hijaab plus niqaab before marriage ....(in Pakistan)
before coming to europe my husband made it clear that I can skip niqaab part if i like (or was he actually suggesting it??) he had no problem or issues etc. ....n i could sense him leaning more towards me taking hijaab only while he refered to a good majority of turkish/ moroccan women wearing hijaab but no niqaab ....I politely told him i don't want to leave niqaab bit ...n bless him he never insisted ...!!

And now he is my biggest supporter for whole niqaab issue! :)

as for dressing in my home ....i am quite conservative on that one too ....n thats the part where i do get told off sometimes ....I'm trying to change !!