Re: Dress Code
CA stupid question but is this a love or arranged situation?
Re: Dress Code
That’s scary,
he does love me the way I am, he’s said it a billion times, plus if he didn’t he wouldn’t still wanna marry me after over 4 years. We have gone through many hard times just to get his parents to give us permission to marry.
I still wanna make his family happy because they’re his parents…I will do whatever I can to please them but I still want them to respect me too. Khair, your idea is good…I’ll ask him to talk to her and see what happens.
Re: Dress Code
None of the above:
- Will request before marriage to dress properly. If accepted I will marry, will reject otherwise.
Khalaas!
Re: Dress Code
Am I the only hijabi who finds it insulting whenever someone tells me I shouldn't wear scarf or loose clothes and say that I'll look great without them? I've never told anyone to wear scarf...it's just too personal for me.
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why not find a girl who already dresses properly according to your standards 
btw that wouldnt be 4, what you would do is 2.
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Haaha… i dunno i find it kinda insulting when someone says you look better WITH hijab… obviously you being w/o hijab is a natural/permanent state, so u shud look better w/o it but the fact that you deliberately hide your beauty is great :k: I have friends like that who are kinda okay looking with tehir hijabs but turn into bombshells when they take it off and dress up for (all grl) parties and, i’m sure, their hubbies to be 
Re: Dress Code
What if only standard that lacks is of Hijaab 
This is true that number 2 is more realisitic to say the least but 4 has a chance that any given day when sun will rise from the west, the girl will actually accept the request 
Re: Dress Code
2 presupposes that you've already discussed the situation with her, and she does not wish to acquiesce to your request.
No need to invent your own categories to show off.
Re: Dress Code
For men: If you find that the woman you are marrying does not wear decent enough clothes according to your tolerance level, then ...]
no where in above situation it is mentioned about talking to her before marriage... instead number 1 shows that person will force her after marriage.
Hence number 4 but as I said, SUN shall riseth from the Westeth :D
Re: Dress Code
Note the clause "according to your tolerance level". If you have not communicated your views with her, how will you know whether she is willing to bow down to your tolerance level? Its quite obvious you might see a girl at a shaadi, for example, wearing a jora without a hijab, but then after talking to her, find out that she is not averse to wearing a hijab.
Ah but I forget. For some guys here, the idea of speaking to a girl before marriage just isn't so obvious an idea.
Re: Dress Code
no actually speaking to a girl refers to khitbat un Nissaa in Quran so it is very much of the idea; only the pre-concieved notions of the Judges put people on their JUDGEMENT kaTheraas :-)
Re: Dress Code
Personally I think it's pretty ridiculous to expect your wife to completely change her way of dressing after marriage. If it was that much of an issue for you then you should have made it clear in the first place, BEFORE marriage.
So I guess its no. 2
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i'll let her decide .. if she think me , my family n her be more respected by her skirts then go with it but ofcorse not infront of my family atleast. i think this way u can test her preferences too.
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a person who cant dress properly will definitely not have any religion inclination, so no use of wasting ur life with such a person, find someone more concerned about religion....
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^ Uhm, not wearing niqaab/scarf on head does not mean one is not religiously inclined, i know many grls including myself who stay covered w/o wearing a scarf on their head.. If they dress in miniskirts and stuff in public then u hav a point :p
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The most logical thing would be to sort out such differences prior to making any serious commitment.
If I were ever faced with such a situation, I would definitely try to explain that at the moment hijaab is what I can observe and I will not switch over to anything more or less than that unless I feel comfortable with it.
Generally speaking I'd be more interested in finding out how a spouse would deal with such a situation if one decides to become practicing or stops practicing after the nikkah. Would the husband force his wife to observe (or remove) hijaab, or would he resort to leaving the wife, or would he simply allow her to do what she thinks is correct and is comfortable with. For a wife, would she want him to grow a beard or shave it off (or it could be anything else related to dress code), or would she prefer to walk away, or leave it for the husband to decide what's most correct and best for him?
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I agree to that but i have a question.. why is it ok to change if hubby wants you to put on make up but its NOT ok to change if hubby wants you to dress lil conservative?
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Good question... well I think he has a right to tell her to put on more makeup or dress up (only for him though, its equally wrong of him to ask her to do that in public tho)... however, he cannot be admiring her in tight jeans one day and ask her to wear hijab once the nikkah is signed.. if it was a gradual thing, that he got into religion over time then maybe that's acceptable... Obviously, ppl change over time, sometimes for better sometimes for worse, (depending on how you look at it) and you just have to accept that..
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You marry your wife for WHO she is, so it doesn't make sense to ask her to change after marriage. It just doesn't cut. Ignoring her dress code before marriage shows how narrow minded the guy is and possibly raises questions on why he married her in the first place. Occasionaly every now and then there may be the odd case where he won't approve of some cleavage or skin showing but these are random cases and shows protectiveness towards her and not wanting to change her entire dress code.
Option 2.