Re: Dowry for your kids
^ well maybe one can take this oppourtunity to help them out to thank them when parents are in that situation. (which I know you would anyways :) )
Re: Dowry for your kids
^ well maybe one can take this oppourtunity to help them out to thank them when parents are in that situation. (which I know you would anyways :) )
its not that simple, afshi. lets say njgal's parents spent 10K on a car for her that she would have have managed to afford with a bit of discomfort. instead if they had put the 10K into a retirement account for the next 20 years, they'd have $60K now. that is $60K of independence and not-needing-to-worry your daughter or feel guilty about stealing from your grandkids. security is a much bigger gift than a car or even a house downpayment.
Re: Dowry for your kids
well if my parents when they got older, and god forbid, were bankrupt or something horrible like that, I would make my duty to take care of them financially. This has nothing to do whether or not they had given me wedding gifts.
and you mentioned the term discomfort. If that were the case back then, and I was getting married, I would NOT even accept a gift like that. No one wants to burden their parents.
Re: Dowry for your kids
OK, when I said that I am going to give all , I did not mean foolishly. Biggest gift I could give my kids is never ever to be burden on them. That would be my fist gift, second would be to add on to that by giving them a good head start.
Re: Dowry for your kids
of course if someone is going to the extent of saving and putting away for the kids, they will not plan to become a burden on them.......I'm sure they will have put away for their own retirement too.
Re: Dowry for your kids
afshi, you may have every intention of taking care of them financially, but god forbid such an event arises and you have to make difficult decisions such as sending kids to a good college vs. a medical procedure for a parent.
everyone means well, and there are a lot of possibilities - despite the best of planning, the worst can happen. but giving a newly wed couple a whole lot of gifts and money is not anywhere on top of the list of things one must plan for to lead a responsible life.
mm strangely, i can't seem to find a like button on tlk's posts, i guess GS has decided he can never post anything likeable. :P
Re: Dowry for your kids
its not that simple, afshi. lets say njgal's parents spent 10K on a car for her that she would have have managed to afford with a bit of discomfort. instead if they had put the 10K into a retirement account for the next 20 years, they'd have $60K now. that is $60K of independence and not-needing-to-worry your daughter or feel guilty about stealing from your grandkids. security is a much bigger gift than a car or even a house downpayment.
What rate of return are you getting to yield $60K after 20 years? Mr. Google says with a rate of return of 8% per annum, compounded I'm only going to have $46,600 in 20 years. I want your financial adviser :(
Re: Dowry for your kids
Queer. all my posts are like worthy by default, so GS decided to save people from an obvious button click.
Re: Dowry for your kids
mm.. i might have done 10% annual compounding. 
a little aggressive, but njgal’s parents invested in BRIC markets. 
Re: Dowry for your kids
afshi, you may have every intention of taking care of them financially, but god forbid such an event arises and you have to make difficult decisions such as sending kids to a good college vs. a medical procedure for a parent.
everyone means well, and there are a lot of possibilities - despite the best of planning, the worst can happen. but giving a newly wed couple a whole lot of gifts and money is not anywhere on top of the list of things one must plan for to lead a responsible life.
mm strangely, i can't seem to find a like button on tlk's posts, i guess GS has decided he can never post anything likeable. :P
Well thank Allah I'm in Canada - most medical procedures are funded by the Government :)
again, I never mentioned to give "a whole lot of gifts and money". . Please refer to my past comments on this issue.
Re: Dowry for your kids
course i didnt mean you specifically, afshi. a lot of us don't have govt sponsored health care, or when available is substandard to other options. people are living way longer than we ever have, and very often the final years are .. well.. very very depressing and almost humiliatingly undignified.
anyway, my point is that taking care of oneself is more important than what may seem like a good head-start to a n00b couple. if they aren't dumasses, they'll do well, they have this important bit known as time on their side.
Re: Dowry for your kids
a lot of us don't have govt sponsored health care, or when available is substandard to other options. people are living way longer than we ever have, and very often the final years are .. well.. very very depressing and almost humiliatingly undignified.
anyway, my point is that taking care of oneself is more important than what may seem like a good head-start to a n00b couple. if they aren't dumasses, they'll do well, they have this important bit known as time on their side.
healthcare is not what it used to be and it will be a lot worse by the time that we are in our retirement years.....in fact, we'll be lucky to have government sponsored care at all by then.
Re: Dowry for your kids
chalo.. bacho ki shaadi ker kay ab thread bemaari aur mauth ki taraf nikal para hai 
damn this thread just aged us new parents FAST!
Re: Dowry for your kids
There is no sunnah regarding giving dowry to your daughter. Our Prophet (p.b.u.h) did not give anything to his daughter Hazrat Fatima. Whatever was given was bought from the proceeds of Hazrat Ali's armor and the mahr also came from those proceeds. The reason why the Prophet did that was because Hazrat Ali was not well to do and didn't even have the basic necessities to provide his wife but the Prophet did not give away anything other than his daughter. When the Prophet's other daughter was married to Hazrat Usman, there was also absolutely nothing given. Just wanted to clarify this as it irks me when people misuse religion to justify something. Further if it was sunnah, you'll see Muslims from all walks of life giving their daughters a new wardrobe and 10 gold sets but such is not the case. We only see this practice in Pakistan/India.
As for dowry, hey it's your child, your money. Do whatever you want. Just don't judge others by pulling the affordability card! It's not about affordability. It's about principles and some people feel very strongly against this practice. To each their own.
I strongly advise people with opposing views to not have their children marry each other. Or else we'll be seeing a lot of threads on Life1 and the Wedding forum! :D
Re: Dowry for your kids
Re: Dowry for your kids
its not that simple, afshi. lets say njgal's parents spent 10K on a car for her that she would have have managed to afford with a bit of discomfort. instead if they had put the 10K into a retirement account for the next 20 years, they'd have $60K now. that is $60K of independence and not-needing-to-worry your daughter or feel guilty about stealing from your grandkids. security is a much bigger gift than a car or even a house downpayment.
Odd TLK or other posters didn't point out that Interest is HARAM in Islam.
Re: Dowry for your kids
mm.. doesn't have to be interest income. there are other ways to save which give a return on your money. if your idea of planning for retirement is relying on interest, you aren't even breaking even with inflation, and its probably better off to just buy a house or something.
Re: Dowry for your kids
^ maybe I should have said rate of return instead of interest to make it more halaal 
Re: Dowry for your kids
Odd TLK or other posters didn't point out that Interest is HARAM in Islam.
haan, Where did I even bring up anything related to interest based income?
Ilzaam Tarashi however is haraam in Islam.
Re: Dowry for your kids
TLK I was basing it upon your mufti status here on GS. Please forgive me if I offended you.