Re: Dowry for your kids
ok Jolie, so from what I'm reading, you don't like gifts at all? Do you like recieiving gifts? Do you give gifts? Why is it so bad in your eyes for a parents to give their kids gifts? I don't get it. Are u saying that any gift a bride or groom gifts is like dowry?
And like I said before, it is in Islam. The Prophet SAW gave wedding gifts to his daughter Fatima, and there is a hadith stating that giving gifts to one another increases love between them.
No one is stating that it has to be extravagent gifts. Again, it's all what one could afford and want to give.
Parents from other cultures give their children gifts all the time on their weddings. Why are u so anti-South Asian?
Oh Please! As long as you are using the word 'desi' to 24/7 moan and bash the crap out of South Asain culture, people, lifestyle, habits, looks and practices, you are not being anti-South Asian, (thats all part of fair 'criticism' but you are instantly termed an anti South Asian because you've used the word 'South Asian'? Funny how I've never seen you pop that question in any of those millions of blatant anti desi threads that literally run the entire life1 section. I don't like saying that but I think I'm the least self hating' desi' (yeah South Asian in other words) on this forum, thank you very much I'm very proud of my South Asian heritage! I hope this is okay with you becasue I feel like moving to the technically more relevant point of your post.
Yes I LOVE gifts, absolutely love giving and receiving. But I hate dowry that goes by the name of 'gift' these days. Yes by following the exact same traditions and guidelines and intentions of dowry system but terming it as 'gift' does not make it a gift. Could've saved me all this explaining and the time you wasted writing that post had you read my initial posts.
I'm glad you've brought the example of Hazrat Fatima RA, because we were told in Islamic class long time ago, that Prophet pbuh had set an example by not following the common Arab tradition of giving lavish and extensive dowry. He adopted the path of simplicity and gave the most essential items as gift/dowry to his daughter. It'd be pretty malicious to use an example that includes things like prayer mat and a bowl and a jug to justify dowry that includes jewels and clothes worth millions. I'm not an expert on Islam but I am damn sure that example of Fatima's wedding does not, in any way or form promotes materialism or this example should be used to put pressure on parents to give dowry or gifts to their childern. I don't know what latest brand of Islam is more in these days but I always thought that the example of Hazrat Fatima's wedding was established to encourage simplicity...I guess its other around now...
I mean if we’re talking gifts, why can’t parents just give a nice china set or a nice decoration piece as a wedding gift and be done with it? Why does ‘gift’ must be certain tolas and numbers of gold sets, gold items for MIL/SIL/elder bhabhi/choti khala/bhari chachi etc, why a suitcase full of fancy clothes etc etc…? This is all a check list of the centuries old jahaiznama, and I’d happily used the word gift when I see people not following that jahaiznama.